lose of a fwb

Gentle (((hugs))) today, my friend. I'm so sorry.

Allow yourself to grieve for not just the loss of a lover, but also a dear friend. We're here for you.

So sorry for your loss. My FWBs have been true friends and saved me. If nothing else, I have wonderful memories of the time we spent together. Thankfully, we are still friends and occasionally chat. We have moved on as far as lovers go. Hope you cherish the memories of your time together and give others the help she gave you.

A little background before an update.

In the post above, I passingly reference that the daughter (called C) lost both both her parents.
18 months before Fran(the mother) passed C's father passed away. Although C is 35, she is suddenly parent less, and does not seem to have the tools to cope.

The call: C and I set up a time to call. Two minutes into the conversation, she is using phrases Fran used. It's bittersweet. She tells me about her uncle and How hes a dick (she curses like a sailor who drives a truck to repair shops,seriously I thought i was bad.) I listen and say, "Remember when your Dad and him had the store?" This stopped her cold. So i excuse myself and explain that I know a lot about her through her mother, the boyfriends (losers) the jobs (awesome ones) and the grief she suffered by losing her father.

I explain her uncle to her and caution her to walk lightly. (Her uncle loaned her money for the funeral, she is paying him back, but not as quickly as the uncle likes, so she got the letter from the lawyer) (told you, dick) she says "I thought of my uncle that way before"- yes me and your mom figured it out.

I said to her, "C, its got to be a bit creepy, meeting someone who knows so much about you and you don't know anything about."

She said to me "It probably would be if it was anyone else. But Mom trusted you. She didn't trust anyone. So you must be special."

So I explained her mom to her. The good and the bad. Why her parents marriage failed. Why so many people thought her mom was a bitter and angry and a heartless bitch.

And how I saw her Mom as a kind gentle fragile woman who loved completely, but was devastated by husband's leaving her. So she would push people away, that she tried that with me as well.

The difference was, I wouldn't let her push me away. (Um, I think we'll leave that for another category)

Three hours later, she asked me if I could try to stay in her life.

Yes C, I can.

I believe that it will. She commented that talking to me was more helpful than her therapist.
That she gained insight into her family that she never knew, and that she was calmest she's been in months.

I am honored to be allowed into her her life.

Although I did stop her when she said she would enjoy and older father figure in her life.
"Whoa, slow down with that older crap, father figure sure, but not that much older!"