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Post by wewbwb on Apr 7, 2016 7:31:12 GMT -5
I wonder if it would help you to write a letter to the daughter telling her all the amazing things about her mother and what she meant to you. Don't send it, just use the writing as a way to process your grief. I don't know why, but even when I know I'm not actually going to send the letter, it helps me to write to a specific person. I'm so sorry for your loss! Thank you. I thank you for the idea. It is a good one and I will try to. It may help and can't hurt. I thank all of you for you're support. The simple fact of being able to post here and to discuss it (as little as I am) is cathartic. But a letter is a good idea. Thank you again. |
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Post by wewbwb on Apr 8, 2016 15:24:00 GMT -5
My Happy Place
When the chips were down
I needed a friend - an ear – a shoulder
Without a second thought you listened
You shared, you cared, and you dared
I hope I helped you as much as you did me
I hope I cared as much as you did
I hope I gave as much as I took
You smiled for me and with me
Laughed with me and at me
And we cried together
We leaned on each other
Stood strong for each other
And you made me better
As a person and man
You gave me a place to be happy
To be safe and to be me
I am a better person for knowing you
I know how to be a friend
You taught me that and so much more
The hardness you showed with many
I knew was just a façade
A way to hide the pain and fear
I didn’t play that that game
I wouldn’t let you
You are you and that was enough
I made you know it didn’t matter
Your tough and angry talk
I saw right through it and you smiled
And that will have to be enough.
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Post by wewbwb on Apr 8, 2016 15:30:41 GMT -5
Next - is this appropriate to share with her daughter?
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Post by LITW on Apr 13, 2016 10:53:28 GMT -5
That must have been and still is very hard. I am sorry for your loss!
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Post by wewbwb on Apr 14, 2016 16:02:34 GMT -5
I am feeling very lonely today. Missing the connection.
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 14, 2016 16:14:20 GMT -5
"We cried together nod leaned on each other". Take that part out for her daughter, leave it in for yourself! You're a very intelligent person! That is a priceless gift! Thank you for sharing it with us and her family!
I have a single/ divorced female friend, a platonic relationship. We both have a boy the same age, surf, flight lessons, home school, she is a friend of the whole family. I thought about if she passed away, when I read this.
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Post by wewbwb on Apr 15, 2016 8:25:10 GMT -5
Thank you. I am going to share it with her daughter.
She would like to talk to me. I am not sure how much I should share with her about our relationship.
The physical ended a few years back but I stayed in touch with her.
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 15, 2016 8:34:44 GMT -5
Thank you. I am going to share it with her daughter. She would like to talk to me. I am not sure how much I should share with her about our relationship. The physical ended a few years back but I stayed in touch with her. You will know when the time comes. Remember the difference between worry, and concern. It's okay to be a bit concerned about it. That means you are aware of it. Too many times we worry about things that never come to pass. ( me included!) CONCERN.... I like that word! ( thought you would too!) |
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Post by wewbwb on Apr 15, 2016 8:37:14 GMT -5
Thank you and I do like that word.
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Post by itsjustus on May 1, 2016 2:57:50 GMT -5
A while back, I had a fwb who was very special to me. More a friend then the benefit part. Anyway, we stayed in touch after the benefit part ended. I spoke to her last week. I found out today she suddenly passed away. I'm heartbroken. I lost a friend that I cannot grieve for. I cannot talk to her daughter (an adult)and tell her what her Mother did for me and what she meant to me. I have no one to express my sadness to or even a way to pay my respects. I am just using this board to shout out at the universe that she is in my heart and I will remember her. Fondly and with love. Fran, your smile lit my heart. Your touch warmed me, and your laugh brightened my soul. I am so sorry, and so deeply touched by your loss. I too have a friend that saved me, that I will most likely never see or hear from again, and I think of what has happened with you, how if I ever did know, I would not have a way to express my sadness or pay any respects..... A profound loss it would be. Please, consider your shout out to the universe as heard...heard clearly and loudly! I now know of a woman named Fran, who saved another's heart, body, and soul. She must have been an amazing woman. My thoughts are with you, and her. IJU |
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Post by wewbwb on May 1, 2016 6:04:41 GMT -5
A while back, I had a fwb who was very special to me. More a friend then the benefit part. Anyway, we stayed in touch after the benefit part ended. I spoke to her last week. I found out today she suddenly passed away. I'm heartbroken. I lost a friend that I cannot grieve for. I cannot talk to her daughter (an adult)and tell her what her Mother did for me and what she meant to me. I have no one to express my sadness to or even a way to pay my respects. I am just using this board to shout out at the universe that she is in my heart and I will remember her. Fondly and with love. Fran, your smile lit my heart. Your touch warmed me, and your laugh brightened my soul. I am so sorry, and so deeply touched by your loss. I too have a friend that saved me, that I will most likely never see or hear from again, and I think of what has happened with you, how if I ever did know, I would not have a way to express my sadness or pay any respects..... A profound loss it would be. Please, consider your shout out to the universe as heard...heard clearly and loudly! I now know of a woman named Fran, who saved another's heart, body, and soul. She must have been an amazing woman. My thoughts are with you, and her. IJU Thank you, your thoughts and your acknowledgement are enough. As they must be for us all. |
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Post by wewbwb on May 4, 2016 7:22:49 GMT -5
The Bridges of Madison County. In brief... the daughter was at first, quite shocked when she was reading her deceased mother's journals, and found out about that aspect of her life... Often we will idealise our parents' figures but in the end, we all realise that parents, like us, are only "humans" after all. I think you faced such a loss, with dignity and respect for the dead and for the living they left behind. I don't think there's a need to tell her daughter more than what is necessary. Be strong. The truth is that Fran (my friend) wasn't seen by many as a caring and loving person, She was seen as a bitch by most people. Just the truth. The difference is that she did not tolerate fools easily. She didn't care about your selfie - or your duck face. If you had a REAL problem she would move earth for you. I believe that people come into my life for a reason. To learn and to teach. I hope she received as tenth of the joy from me as I received from her. She was a true friend and it was my honor to know her. |
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2016 11:50:26 GMT -5
Yeah I think too just tell her daughter you were friends and she helped you through some tough times and she meant a lot to you. She can conjecture and connect the dots if she wants. Leave that to her.
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Post by wewbwb on May 6, 2016 7:31:53 GMT -5
Today is going to be a bit rough for me. Fridays is when I would usually call her and chat for about an hour or so. And then add Mothers Day and yeah, I'm feeling the loss.
But again, I want to thank everyone here for their support.
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2016 8:06:48 GMT -5
Today is going to be a bit rough for me. Fridays is when I would usually call her and chat for about an hour or so. And then add Mothers Day and yeah, I'm feeling the loss. But again, I want to thank everyone here for their support. I'm so sorry. Fridays will probably be hard for you for a while. I hope time will eventually ease the pain and let Fridays become a time for good memories of a special friend. |
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