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Post by RumRunner on Apr 4, 2016 15:15:41 GMT -5
My partner sleeps as close to me as possible, gives me lots of kisses, lots of attention, follows me everywhere. May partner is also loyal, excited to see me and is dedicated to me always. My partner is not the one I am married to…. The partner I speak of is my little dog. For the last 15 years there has been no sex at all. None. Before we got to this point, there had been signs, many signs leading up to this. Sex has always been gross, a dirty little deed that is required to bare children and we only had one child. To kiss with an open mouth is gross. Oral sex is gross. The only position she would ever consider was missionary, and even then she would ask if I thought it was going to rain that day in middle of trying to do something. I always felt so bad after we did do something because I knew that she didn't want to. I felt so guilty, that I apologized repeatedly to her. I felt like I had raped her, though she was my wife. Sex has always been a horrible struggle from the very beginning. I finally had enough, and stopped asking for sex, that's when the sex stopped all together. Before marriage, she said she was saving it until after marriage. She is still saving it, I guess now until after the funeral. I have come to accept it and I know it will never change. I gave up trying to change it long ago. If I had any advice to give to the young people out there.... I would say beware of anyone who says that they want to wait until after marriage to have sex... It's a trap! I love my cats. The way they reach a paw up and tap me on the arm to get my attention always makes me smile. How can you resist such a request? Cats too are irresistible. Why can't our partners be the same? |
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Post by RumRunner on Apr 4, 2016 15:22:35 GMT -5
I am so sorry to hear this. I finally moved out after almost 6 years of celibacy. Married 28 years. Wife always said she could not wait to be married to have sex. It was all a bunch of bullshit. If you want to stay, I certainly understand, but the other side is a lot better. So you had been misled into thinking it would change after marriage too.... I have heard so many times that one wants to wait until after marriage to have sex, I think that is a mistake to wait until after marriage. How are you really to get to know that person if you practice abstinence? This is not to say that one should just give it away, but it should be a big part of deciding whether that person is right for each other. Sex is not the only thing that makes a marriage, but it is a big part of it! Congratulations on your moving on.... |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2016 0:03:12 GMT -5
i hate dogs. Cats I love. I am loved by my kitty. Unfortunately I am not loved by any humans, and doubt that I have ever been.
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Post by solodriver on Aug 16, 2016 23:40:20 GMT -5
My partner sleeps as close to me as possible, gives me lots of kisses, lots of attention, follows me everywhere. May partner is also loyal, excited to see me and is dedicated to me always. My partner is not the one I am married to…. The partner I speak of is my little dog. For the last 15 years there has been no sex at all. None. Before we got to this point, there had been signs, many signs leading up to this. Sex has always been gross, a dirty little deed that is required to bare children and we only had one child. To kiss with an open mouth is gross. Oral sex is gross. The only position she would ever consider was missionary, and even then she would ask if I thought it was going to rain that day in middle of trying to do something. I always felt so bad after we did do something because I knew that she didn't want to. I felt so guilty, that I apologized repeatedly to her. I felt like I had raped her, though she was my wife. Sex has always been a horrible struggle from the very beginning. I finally had enough, and stopped asking for sex, that's when the sex stopped all together. Before marriage, she said she was saving it until after marriage. She is still saving it, I guess now until after the funeral. I have come to accept it and I know it will never change. I gave up trying to change it long ago. If I had any advice to give to the young people out there.... I would say beware of anyone who says that they want to wait until after marriage to have sex... It's a trap! I love my cats. The way they reach a paw up and tap me on the arm to get my attention always makes me smile. How can you resist such a request? I have 4 cats and I think they all love me. When I go to sleep 2 or 3 of them will find me and one wants to lay on my back and taps me on the neck. The other one likes to tap me on the arm or on the face very gently. When all 4 jump in, they all cuddle around me and purr and it sounds like an airplane when they all get going. I have one that thinks he's the watchdog and if he hears anything unusual in the middle of the night he starts growling just like a dog and it does wake me up. But cats can be very sweet animals and can express affection for it's owners.
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Post by baza on Aug 17, 2016 2:00:39 GMT -5
Ms enna and I have a dog.
Lovely animal, not the sharpest tool in the shed, but highly intuitive, able to sense if Ms enna or I am slightly "off" at times, at which time he will come and sit beside the "off" person. Just being there. It's like he can draw the stress out of a person, and then dissipate it harmlessly.
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He is prone to being a bit of an idiot at times and shows surprising smarts at times too.
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He sleeps under our bed in his own bed.
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However, he can intuite when we are going to have a root, and heads out to the back shed. I don't think he likes the noise, and it does tend to get pretty loud.
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Post by cagedtiger on Aug 17, 2016 8:05:14 GMT -5
We have two dogs, my wife's 14 year old chocolate lab, and a 1 1/2 year old yellow lab we foster failed with a few months ago. The puppy is very, very obviously mine, but it also helps that I run and play with her, and take her out to do things. The older dog is starting to have some mobility issues with stiffness in her hips, but I try and walk her on her own when I can. I feel so very bad for her, because "her" human, my wife, hasn't done anything more than lie in bed with her and feed her in months.
When she was staying at her brother's last week, both dogs curled up tight on either side of me at night, definitely knowing things were off. It was nice waking up in the mornings with two puppy heads resting on my chest. Even if they do both snore.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2016 9:50:02 GMT -5
I am so sorry to hear this. I finally moved out after almost 6 years of celibacy. Married 28 years. Wife always said she could not wait to be married to have sex. It was all a bunch of bullshit. If you want to stay, I certainly understand, but the other side is a lot better. So you had been misled into thinking it would change after marriage too.... I have heard so many times that one wants to wait until after marriage to have sex, I think that is a mistake to wait until after marriage. How are you really to get to know that person if you practice abstinence? This is not to say that one should just give it away, but it should be a big part of deciding whether that person is right for each other. Sex is not the only thing that makes a marriage, but it is a big part of it! Congratulations on your moving on.... Thank you. I was raised that sex should be saved for marriage and I believed it. That was the biggest mistake of my life. I know of very few happy marriages where the couple did not fuck before marriage. |
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Post by GeekGoddess on Aug 17, 2016 22:01:56 GMT -5
flashjohn - it's no corollary that just because I rooted my Ex before our wedding that we did not end up as an SM. I thought an 8-yr trial period was enough "to know him" but age & life happened and we still ended up sexless. So - I just wanted to make that clear that sex before marriage also does not predict the future (or, not all of it).
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2016 15:02:55 GMT -5
flashjohn - it's no corollary that just because I rooted my Ex before our wedding that we did not end up as an SM. I thought an 8-yr trial period was enough "to know him" but age & life happened and we still ended up sexless. So - I just wanted to make that clear that sex before marriage also does not predict the future (or, not all of it). You are probably right. Actually, the best indicator was her extreme selfishness. It should have been a dead giveaway. |
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Post by GeekGoddess on Aug 19, 2016 19:11:30 GMT -5
flashjohn - it's no corollary that just because I rooted my Ex before our wedding that we did not end up as an SM. I thought an 8-yr trial period was enough "to know him" but age & life happened and we still ended up sexless. So - I just wanted to make that clear that sex before marriage also does not predict the future (or, not all of it). You are probably right. Actually, the best indicator was her extreme selfishness. It should have been a dead giveaway. I agree. When I was first dating my now Ex, he was not "that selfish" but I did see it some. After we were married, he still kept it in check for a very long time. As we each got a chronic disease (me = RA, him = diabetes) - we did do a lot for own good and it was more "self-care" than truly selfishness. But when the boom fell, and he received the prostate cancer diagnosis - - that is when all bets were off and he was 100% all for himself (because: cancer). No matter the prognosis or what the question or anything - - we had to do things his way because "he was old and has cancer - that COULD come back" While I understand his fear was real - his coping skills for it were abysmal and he wouldn't consider any form of supportive talk therapy (counseling) or alternative dietary (anti-inflammatory eating etc) or other ideas I ever brought up. I had been written off and HE was doing battle with his own mortality all by himself. So - if I wasn't going to be part of a team, why stay? Anyway - that is pretty much how a "not bad" relationship turned into a certified ILIASM shithole, despite that we had a successful run at first. |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2016 22:34:18 GMT -5
...miss you, furhead.
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Post by darktippedrose on Aug 19, 2016 23:58:53 GMT -5
i knew it was a dog. glad you have a lovely fur baby. for me its my kidz.
i was a good girl. I waited until marriage. You can't have sex until marriage. you get married and still can't have sex.
he rejected me for the first time after 2 weeks. On and off was ok for 5 years but afterwards it all went to hell very fast.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2016 9:19:39 GMT -5
My husband and I had sex while we were dating. A bit of a backstory: we met online in 2005 and dated long distance for a year and a half. Once a month, back and forth between our two cities, accumulating lots of airline miles. Once I moved 1200 miles to his city, four months before our wedding, to be with him and start our life together, the sex stopped. When I asked why, he said he felt it wasn't right before marriage. Obviously I was confused, having already enjoyed each other while we were dating long distance.
I suspect what the priest said to us when he found out we were sharing an apartment got under my husband's skin. He was raised Catholic, as was I. The difference is, his parents are still extremely devout. My mother, after my parents divorced, evolved into a very matter-of-fact agnostic. And I slowly followed suit. I've always been respectful of one another's beliefs, which is why I agreed to get married in the Catholic church. But I think my husband's Catholic upbringing has created hang-ups which I will never understand.
Please don't take this as me knocking anyone's faith. That's not what this rant is about. Faith is important to a great many of us here. I am simply trying to apply it to my situation.
As for the dogs, some days I wouldn't get kissed at all if it weren't for my fur baby. Yes, she makes messes and sometimes has accidents in the house, but her unconditional love and affection is worth it a thousand times over.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2016 10:53:17 GMT -5
There is a tremendous amount of love in our home....between the W and our 4 yorkies and 1 westie...they curl up with her every night....they love me but mommy is the bomb....except for one Yorkie who is a daddy's girl....
Wonder why I can't get close to her?
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Post by sand5280 on Aug 21, 2016 3:16:05 GMT -5
The older dog is starting to have some mobility issues with stiffness in her hips, but I try and walk her on her own when I can. Consider asking vet about Cosequin, a joint reinforcement supplement. Our lab/pointer had two knee surgeries couple years ago, and she has some of this with every dinner. We were given the original powder for horses, and there are some forms for dogs. The powder she eats no problem. $50 can lasts 8-9 months I think. If your condition is arthritis, different story which simply requires pain relief. I love all dogs, and wish to see none suffer. |
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