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Post by DryCreek on Jul 7, 2016 15:00:13 GMT -5
I think, for now, I will let HIM water the grass and see what happens. But I won't wait around forever. I think this is a healthy perspective to have. If memory serves, it's only been a few weeks, and he seems to be making miraculous improvement. At the same time, it's only been a few weeks, so time will tell if he has staying power. For your sake, I hope he not only holds ground on his progress, but continues to improve himself. Recently he opted for the TV instead of the bed... Did he recognize the error of his ways? |
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Post by JMX on Jul 7, 2016 15:06:30 GMT -5
That was my bad. I drank too much 4th of July... He had fallen asleep waiting for me to come to bed watching TV. When he did not respond or wake up, I moved back to the guest bedroom, took care of myself and went to sleep. He told me the next day he was worried that I had left and asked if I was okay. He said it was 1 am when I tried to wake him up and he was very tired.
The difference from before? He asked me about it instead of ignoring it. He was upset that I was upset enough to leave the bedroom.
I don't know. Some men would be okay with being woken up and would have had sex. And while that is what I prefer, he did wait for me to come to bed and I did my own thing until 1 am.
I don't think I will call that refuser behavior, I am just overly sensitive to any kind of rejection, even if I deserved it.
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Post by cagedadventurer on Jul 10, 2016 1:02:39 GMT -5
You can take the reset sex, all you can get. I'm doing that lately too. You mentioned " if even a glimmer of hope"; yea it's worth it for our kid's sakes. For our sakes. I think many refusers REALLY don't comprehend the pain we experience as the refused. He's trying, lets hope he is committed for the longer haul.
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Post by baza on Jul 10, 2016 18:45:15 GMT -5
I truly think that the BIG take-away from this thread (and Sister JMX's full run of stories) is this -
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If you are going to resolve your ILIASM shithole, then you have to be absolutely prepared to end it, and have a do-able exit strategy in your pocket.
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There is no way over this, or under it, or around it.
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In the 0,000's of stories in the old EP/ILIASM group, and in the 000's of stories in this group, you see it time after time after time.
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Addendum
This applies to the rare, rare, Brother Time4Living2 scenario (where the outcome was the marriage doing a 180) and equally to the Sister(s) like unjusted, bbgirl, pointbreakgirl, jane018, Brothers like LaoTzu, buroak and hundreds of others (where the outcome was the marriage ending)
Indeed, I've not seen a single example of an ILIASM shithole coming to resolvement without the disenfranchised spouse being prepared to go all in, and put the marriage on the line.
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