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Post by lost34 on Jun 24, 2016 9:26:23 GMT -5
So we finally talked and the reason why he didn't show any care was because he didn't know what to do or how to fix it. He was just happy to go along with whatever I wanted to do.
He then said to me that maybe I needed to be with another person since he was the only man I've been with and because I keep complaining about us being intimate. His giving me permission to do so as if our marriage meant nothing.
I asked him if the reason he wants me to sleep with someone else is because he wants to sleep if someone else and he said no.
Im so confused.
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Post by bballgirl on Jun 24, 2016 10:05:50 GMT -5
So we finally talked and the reason why he didn't show any care was because he didn't know what to do or how to fix it. He was just happy to go along with whatever I wanted to do. He then said to me that maybe I needed to be with another person since he was the only man I've been with and because I keep complaining about us being intimate. His giving me permission to do so as if our marriage meant nothing. I asked him if the reason he wants me to sleep with someone else is because he wants to sleep if someone else and he said no. Im so confused. It sounds like he is maybe asexual or just sex is not important to him. He has no value for sex and therefore doesn't care if you sleep with someone else. One less thing for him to do. Almost the same way you go to the hairdresser. What it says though he will never meet your needs and make you feel wanted and desired as a woman. |
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Post by JMX on Jun 24, 2016 11:40:16 GMT -5
Get it in writing that you can sleep with whomever and he cannot. Have a lawyer draw it up, have it notarized.
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Post by wewbwb on Jun 24, 2016 12:04:27 GMT -5
Get it in writing that you can sleep with whomever and he cannot. Have a lawyer draw it up, have it notarized. I'm a notary. Just saying - 2 birds and all.  |
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Post by cc on Jun 24, 2016 15:43:27 GMT -5
They give up. He can't give you what you need.
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Post by skguy on Jun 24, 2016 16:32:31 GMT -5
So we finally talked and the reason why he didn't show any care was because he didn't know what to do or how to fix it. He was just happy to go along with whatever I wanted to do. He then said to me that maybe I needed to be with another person since he was the only man I've been with and because I keep complaining about us being intimate. His giving me permission to do so as if our marriage meant nothing. I asked him if the reason he wants me to sleep with someone else is because he wants to sleep if someone else and he said no. Im so confused. That's a tough one. That would seem so confusing. You sort of want permission to go off with someone, but on the other hand, it would be a hard pill to swallow. Makes you question everything. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2016 17:11:50 GMT -5
He's gay
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Post by DryCreek on Jun 24, 2016 17:22:36 GMT -5
So we finally talked and the reason why he didn't show any care was because he didn't know what to do or how to fix it. He was just happy to go along with whatever I wanted to do. He then said to me that maybe I needed to be with another person since he was the only man I've been with and because I keep complaining about us being intimate. His giving me permission to do so as if our marriage meant nothing. I asked him if the reason he wants me to sleep with someone else is because he wants to sleep if someone else and he said no. Im so confused. Translation: "I'm not willing to make an effort here. If you want sex, you'll have to go elsewhere." In other words, what you got with him now is all you're gonna get. Don't expect change. Take it at face value, and choose to be content with it or move on. After 25 years of trying to be content with it, I can tell you that it doesn't get any easier with time. But moving on gets much harder. |
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Post by nyartgal on Jun 24, 2016 19:28:52 GMT -5
He's an idiot. Run like the wind! Who needs a roommate when you could have a partner?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2016 21:28:47 GMT -5
So we finally talked and the reason why he didn't show any care was because he didn't know what to do or how to fix it. He was just happy to go along with whatever I wanted to do. He then said to me that maybe I needed to be with another person since he was the only man I've been with and because I keep complaining about us being intimate. His giving me permission to do so as if our marriage meant nothing. I asked him if the reason he wants me to sleep with someone else is because he wants to sleep if someone else and he said no. Im so confused. He is trying to drive you away. |
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Post by baza on Jun 27, 2016 3:03:32 GMT -5
You don't need to know "why" he doesn't care.
All you need to know is that he doesn't care. That's all the information you need, right there.
"Why" he doesn't care doesn't matter. There is fuck all you can do about him not caring.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2016 4:00:11 GMT -5
There's your answer, lost34, clear as a bell. Lawyer up and file for divorce. ASAP |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jun 27, 2016 4:13:29 GMT -5
I get so excited for people when it seems so clear like this. But then it never is as straightforward is it.
Darn our good hearts and our best intentions. They shit on us all the time!
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Post by petrushka on Jun 27, 2016 5:25:08 GMT -5
There's your answer, lost34 , clear as a bell. Lawyer up and file for divorce. ASAP Why the hell would you say a thing like that? It may be perfectly acceptable for the OP to find a bed partner and continue with the relationship. I've been given a pass - my wife says "it just doesn't work for me any more", and so, presumably out of compassion, she has said that she has no expectation that I should have to live like a monk for the rest of my days. I can not see any reason why that means I should divorce her. Egad. Now, if she wasn't putting any effort into the relationship, if she hadn't cleaned up her abusive behaviour almost completely, it might be a different story - but as it is, we have a very very good platonic relationship. Actually, no, we have tons of physical affection, just no intercourse. Your views on polyamory may be different from mine, but I think you should keep the option in mind for those who are inclined that way (or at least don't balk at the thought). I have always been open to loving several people at any one time in my life. You might say I have a big heart  |
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Post by petrushka on Jun 27, 2016 5:26:09 GMT -5
I get so excited for people when it seems so clear like this. But then it never is as straightforward is it. Darn our good hearts and our best intentions. They shit on us all the time! To me, being given options never means I'm being shat on .... (unless the options are Typhoid, Cholera or Plague) |
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