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Post by Rhapsodee on Jun 22, 2016 11:28:01 GMT -5
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
I've been told my entire life that I'm oversensitive! "You shouldn't be so sensitive". Yes, damnit I should! It's part of who I am.
I will not be shamed for being sensitive. Damnit! If it hurts, it hurts! It doesn't mean that you have to walk on egg shells or be careful of everything you say or do. Just understand that some things, but not others trigger sensitivity and please respect that if I let you know.
Being sensitive is a good thing. It makes me more passionate, responsive, sensual, receptive......
It makes me easy to talk to. It is what draws people to me. It makes my world rich and colorful.
Sometimes it makes me want to die.
Sigh.
Now I just need to say that to my husband.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2016 12:31:10 GMT -5
RANT AWAY Rhapsodee!! WOOOOHOOO!! I absolutely despise that word, because it reeks of a parent/child dynamic. Hypersensitivity, is associated with a response to pain. OVERsensitive is a put down. Honor your feelings. Then examine whether you are overreacting, or simply expressing yourself by externalizing your emotions. Other people internalize. Neither is "right" nor "wrong," just different. I'm the least tactful person, so I have no problem calling someone out for mansplaining or belittling my thoughts/emotions by attempting to "interpret" them for me. I say, tell them to F-off or keep their opinions to themselves, although it would be awesome to scream "NO, I'M NOT OVERSENSITIVE!!" in their face, for sheer comedic value. Bet, they never say that again.  In all seriousness though, suspect the person who said you're "overssensitive," is gaslighting, but I don't want to go into the therapeutic side of things. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2016 14:29:41 GMT -5
I have been told the same thing my whole life too! But, I've come to realize that it's one of my gifts and now I wear it with pride (usually). It can be hard to exist in this world as a sensitive person though. But now I'm preaching to the choir. And my husband doesn't get it either.
Have you ever read The Highly Sensitive Person? I'm blanking on the author now (Elaine something??), but it's a great read.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 22, 2016 14:37:55 GMT -5
I have been told the same thing my whole life too! But, I've come to realize that it's one of my gifts and now I wear it with pride (usually). It can be hard to exist in this world as a sensitive person though. But now I'm preaching to the choir. And my husband doesn't get it either. Have you ever read The Highly Sensitive Person? I'm blanking on the author now (Elaine something??), but it's a great read. ( Elaine N Aron) |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2016 15:12:35 GMT -5
HSP.....that is me to a T.... have read all of Dr Aron's books....defines who I am... scored 30 out of 32 on the HSP test....
Embrace your HSP... but also understand it... my wife calls it a crutch and refuses to understand it.... and that hurts....
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 22, 2016 18:40:19 GMT -5
I do get suspicious about all this, " labeling " I hear. Maybe I am "over sensitive" about it. Perhaps I should be " passive" about it. Heaven forbid I get " upset, emotional, irrational, or the least bit angry or defensive", now I am being "aggressive". Of course we are all supposed to be " patient" while being a " leader, and taking control" at the same time? I find myself constantly questioning, " my problems". But it's so simple..... " you just have to find a balance!" According to who? What's interesting is that someone who is "controlling" seems very good at giving such advice, yet no so good at living it. Or seeing their own flaws. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2016 19:30:19 GMT -5
"You're too sensitive" = "I resent the fact that you expect me to care about your feelings."
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2016 21:52:37 GMT -5
HSP.....that is me to a T.... have read all of Dr Aron's books....defines who I am... scored 30 out of 32 on the HSP test.... Embrace your HSP... but also understand it... my wife calls it a crutch and refuses to understand it.... and that hurts.... Of course you're an HSP! Only an HSP would quote Robert Frost... |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2016 22:07:21 GMT -5
Of course as an HSP, I spend a lot of time thinking about life....and all the meaning.... not sure if that has been any better than being like most guys....thinking with their packages
And being an HSP means the lack of closeness and communication hurts more than for nonHSPs.
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Post by baza on Jun 22, 2016 22:49:06 GMT -5
Nothing wrong with being sensitive.
In fact it can be a highly valuable tool in your armoury.
It can also be a yoke around your neck if not managed.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2016 8:21:10 GMT -5
Nothing wrong with being sensitive. In fact it can be a highly valuable tool in your armoury. It can also be a yoke around your neck if not managed. That description may apply to most any trait of personality. Be a good manager of whatever tools are stocked in the armory. |
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Post by nyartgal on Jun 23, 2016 21:31:20 GMT -5
I'm very sensitive to things like loud noises, other people's emotions, crowds, etc. I'm very introverted, I love being alone in a quiet place away from too much sensory overload, especially people. But I'm not sensitive to criticism or other people's opinions, it's very very hard to hurt my feelings with words. I would say I am both very sensitive and not sensitive at all.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2016 11:59:33 GMT -5
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr! I've been told my entire life that I'm oversensitive! " You shouldn't be so sensitive". Yes, damnit I should! It's part of who I am. I will not be shamed for being sensitive. Damnit! If it hurts, it hurts! It doesn't mean that you have to walk on egg shells or be careful of everything you say or do. Just understand that some things, but not others trigger sensitivity and please respect that if I let you know. Being sensitive is a good thing. It makes me more passionate, responsive, sensual, receptive...... It makes me easy to talk to. It is what draws people to me. It makes my world rich and colorful. Sometimes it makes me want to die. Sigh. Hi, I am a new member, and I think this topic is very interesting. I 100% support your feelings and rant. But can you please define "oversensitive" a little bit for me. For example, one person may think oversensitive pertains to the just things you individually internalize and feel. Another person may feel for them that being very sensitive means they seem to focus greatly on their outer environment whether it is people or nature or  There are people who can be oversensitive to both and also in other ways. I am going to create a new thread (if I can figure out how) and ask the question "have you ever taken a personality test ( for example Briggs/Myers, but there are others), because I am curious about 2 things; 1) Do you think the test can give you insights about your personal life as well as your work personality?? and 2) Is one personality type more likely to get stuck in a SM?? Rhapsodee, you gave me the idea with your birth order thread. Thank you! |
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Post by TuxedoCat on Aug 1, 2016 17:21:38 GMT -5
Some traits and habits of 'sensitive ' people ...
1. They feel more deeply
2. They 'hear' they are sensitive from others (generally perceived as a negative)
3. They prefer individual sports or to exercise alone (I think this changes as we age and become more social)
4. It takes longer for them to make a decision (there are many decisions I have made that I wish I would have taken more time)
5. They are detail-oriented (My professional career motto has been speed, quality and attention to detail... I am a consultant)
6. They work well in team environments
7. Hate violent movies ( me too!)
8. They cry more easily ( real men do cry)
9 They are more considerate and conscientious than most (who doesn't like a person who is respectful and exhibits good manners?)
The above and many more traits are well documented in literature today. Soooo, the next time someone calls you overly
sensitive you may want to compliment them because from my perspective they just paid you a compliment whether they recognize it or not is their issue IMHO.
Your thoughts?
PS... I'm new to this site and my first post... be gentle with me as I am 'sensitive' as well :-)
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Post by Rhapsodee on Aug 1, 2016 18:51:10 GMT -5
Some traits and habits of 'sensitive ' people ... 1. They feel more deeply 2. They 'hear' they are sensitive from others (generally perceived as a negative) 3. They prefer individual sports or to exercise alone (I think this changes as we age and become more social) 4. It takes longer for them to make a decision (there are many decisions I have made that I wish I would have taken more time) 5. They are detail-oriented (My professional career motto has been speed, quality and attention to detail... I am a consultant) 6. They work well in team environments 7. Hate violent movies ( me too!) 8. They cry more easily ( real men do cry) 9 They are more considerate and conscientious than most (who doesn't like a person who is respectful and exhibits good manners?) The above and many more traits are well documented in literature today. Soooo, the next time someone calls you overly sensitive you may want to compliment them because from my perspective they just paid you a compliment whether they recognize it or not is their issue IMHO. Your thoughts? PS... I'm new to this site and my first post... be gentle with me as I am 'sensitive' as well :-) Welcome, TC! And thank you for your post. I think you have a good understanding of sensitivity. |
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There are people who can be oversensitive to both and also in other ways.
