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Post by lonelyhubby on Jun 6, 2024 11:39:42 GMT -5
Was discussing with my wife regarding some of the issues we are experiencing with the adult children (newly turned 19, 20 and 26 year old's), and she mentioned that her anxiety is ramping up and she may want to take to her doctor about upping her Propranolol - I had no idea she was taking this anti-anxiety med in the first place. well - low and behold, besides her daily Prozac for migraine suppression, this anti-anxiety med is a beta blocker - the Serotonin blocked on one end, and beta blocking on the back and what is the common side affect of BOTH of these independently - they kill your sex drive. So not only the SSRI's are doing it, the anti-anxiety med is also lending a hand in preventing feelings of love / romance (documented form the various web sites and medical journals). I tell you - I can't win for losing some days. While yes, a lot of her issues are about choice and walled off emotional safety - these and the combination of both could very well be the cause of her inability to connect to her feelings, etc.. www.pharmacytimes.com/view/lossoflibido-0610www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/1078386/medications-that-kill-your-sex-life/ |
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m76
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Post by m76 on Jun 6, 2024 12:04:38 GMT -5
Was discussing with my wife regarding some of the issues we are experiencing with the adult children (newly turned 19, 20 and 26 year old's), and she mentioned that her anxiety is ramping up and she may want to take to her doctor about upping her Propranolol - I had no idea she was taking this anti-anxiety med in the first place. well - low and behold, besides her daily Prozac for migraine suppression, this anti-anxiety med is a beta blocker - the Serotonin blocked on one end, and beta blocking on the back and what is the common side affect of BOTH of these independently - they kill your sex drive. So not only the SSRI's are doing it, the anti-anxiety med is also lending a hand in preventing feelings of love / romance (documented form the various web sites and medical journals). I tell you - I can't win for losing some days. While yes, a lot of her issues are about choice and walled off emotional safety - these and the combination of both could very well be the cause of her inability to connect to her feelings, etc.. www.pharmacytimes.com/view/lossoflibido-0610www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/1078386/medications-that-kill-your-sex-life/My wife is also is on anti-anxiety medication, but her libido was declining for years before starting that. Recent talks with her about the lack of intimacy on our anniversary trip she told me that she simply never thinks about sex. So those nights that she was writing and saw that I was reading in bed, she figured i wasn't waiting for her and since went to sleep after a while I must have not have wanted to do anything. Past experience says that if I had asked her she would have come up with other excuses me not specifically asking her to be intimate is another excuse. She knew that's what i wanted on the trip and had promised she would be willing to try more. So as much as I believe the medication kills off libido, her constant excuses and willingness to ignore my clearly stated needs are a choice on her part. There's always an excuse or an attempt to shift the blame on me. |
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Post by lonelyhubby on Jun 6, 2024 12:05:52 GMT -5
There is always a choice.
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Post by lonelyhubby on Jun 6, 2024 16:19:44 GMT -5
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Post by mirrororchid on Jun 10, 2024 18:31:42 GMT -5
...she told me that she simply never thinks about sex. I hear this phrase often enough. Mrs. MirrorOrchid never said it, but it would not surprise me to know that she did not think about it either. When I told her I'd be outsourcing in two months, I am confident she started thinking about it-and initiated as a result. She initiates pretty reliably every three weeks. If it were monthly, I'd think it was hormonal. It's every three weeks. This last time? I initiated at three weeks, one day...and she engaged admirably though she's perfectly willing, much of the time, to put me off. If someone says their spouse says they don't think about sex, I'd be curious about the result if the reply is, "Well, start." |
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Post by jim44444 on Jun 11, 2024 19:54:50 GMT -5
...she told me that she simply never thinks about sex. If someone says their spouse says they don't think about sex, I'd be curious about the result if the reply is, "Well, start." I would suspect that said spouse did not verbally express the true feeling of "I don't think about sex with you." |
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Post by lonelyhubby on Jun 12, 2024 6:46:35 GMT -5
I challenged mine 2 therapy sessions ago when she said she gets nothing form sex and doesn't think about it (I said she doesn't want me, she just wants me around)- DOES she think about it - just not with me? I don't think so, we are unraveling that gordian knot of crazy and it all goes back to her isolation when her father became terminally ill (about the same time she shut down all affection). Not that this is the only issue - because her safe space is isolation and withdrawal into her walled off safe space, and that's where she decided to live. Now - she simply doesn't know how to get back - add in the numbing effect of her meds, plus hormone issues with Perimenopause and she is on an island. I really don't think she thinks about sex at all - not with me, or anyone else. She is just shut down.
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m76
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Post by m76 on Jun 12, 2024 7:08:04 GMT -5
I think my situation is a bit different. When she says she doesn't think about sex at all. I believe in her case she doesn't think about sex for herself with anyone. However I know there must be some thoughts because she will write steamy romance scenes, so it makes me wonder if she has all her needs met emotionally through her writing. Physical needs may be nearly non existent.
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Post by deadzone75 on Jun 12, 2024 7:53:50 GMT -5
I think my situation is a bit different. When she says she doesn't think about sex at all. I believe in her case she doesn't think about sex for herself with anyone. However I know there must be some thoughts because she will write steamy romance scenes, so it makes me wonder if she has all her needs met emotionally through her writing. Physical needs may be nearly non existent. She has admitted that she masturbates. That is meeting a physical need. |
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m76
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Post by m76 on Jun 12, 2024 8:08:09 GMT -5
I think my situation is a bit different. When she says she doesn't think about sex at all. I believe in her case she doesn't think about sex for herself with anyone. However I know there must be some thoughts because she will write steamy romance scenes, so it makes me wonder if she has all her needs met emotionally through her writing. Physical needs may be nearly non existent. She has admitted that she masturbates. That is meeting a physical need. True but very infrequently, like once a month. |
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Post by deadzone75 on Jun 12, 2024 12:17:16 GMT -5
She has admitted that she masturbates. That is meeting a physical need. True but very infrequently, like once a month. Even IF she's telling the truth on the frequency, that's still once a month she needs a physical need met and is not turning to you to fulfill it. |
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Missingout
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Posts: 244
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by Missingout on Jun 13, 2024 15:27:04 GMT -5
I'm curious how my wife is going to act now that I won't be around. Been separated for a month now. I shouldn't worry about it. She wanted me to be the bad guy and say the D word first. She likes being the victim. My mind wonders too much me thinks. But I have to be prepared for when she does find someone else.
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Post by deadzone75 on Jun 14, 2024 0:55:49 GMT -5
I'm curious how my wife is going to act now that I won't be around. Been separated for a month now. I shouldn't worry about it. She wanted me to be the bad guy and say the D word first. She likes being the victim. My mind wonders too much me thinks. But I have to be prepared for when she does find someone else. Prepared? Nah...you've got the easy part now! The next person she cons will be the one who has to prepare, assuming she can land someone. Hope that person likes not having sex. |
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Missingout
Full Member
Posts: 244
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by Missingout on Jun 14, 2024 4:35:29 GMT -5
I'm curious how my wife is going to act now that I won't be around. Been separated for a month now. I shouldn't worry about it. She wanted me to be the bad guy and say the D word first. She likes being the victim. My mind wonders too much me thinks. But I have to be prepared for when she does find someone else. Prepared? Nah...you've got the easy part now! The next person she cons will be the one who has to prepare, assuming she can land someone. Hope that person likes not having sex. I'm thinking older guy who's penis no longer works and has lots of money is what it will be😜 |
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Post by ironhamster on Jun 15, 2024 7:07:26 GMT -5
I found out recently that these psychotropic meds can reduce sex drive not only when they are being taken but long after they are stopped.
At minimum this is just one more reason to distrust our pharmaceutical-medical industry.
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