Being bi-curious to stay sane

Any idea how the Mrs. would react to camming, male or female?

It's been boiled down to three options around here:
Leave, Accept, or Outsource.

Is leaving an option? If so, consulting with legal help to get a good idea of what divorce would be like and lets you proceed with outsourcing with eyes open and confidence that the fallout has been accounted for.

If not, could camming cause her to leave? What about something a step up? A male affair partner would likely be easier to conceal, unless you've accidentally telegraphed your inclinations before. I'd also add to be extra careful abut what you might bring home to the wife, but after 3 1/2 years, it's probably easy to make sure she doesn't catch it. 

Once legal prep is in place (consider writing up a will, it creates an inventory of assets that serves a double purpose), you can seek out something on the sly, which is difficult, but very exciting for some people.
Or you have The Talk and explain your intentions, letting her file for divorce if she won't change and finds it unacceptable, or releasing you to find bliss with another with or without her consent.

I'm going to be plain here. Don't "ask" to outsource, except rhetorically. A refuser/denier has no claim to your sexuality. You cannot make them have sex, they cannot force celibacy on you. Their only answers available to a "request" to outsource are "Yes" or "Let me work on it. Give me ___ weeks/months", and "Well, it was a good run, who gets the house?" 

Do not go into this endeavor with the capacity to accept their preferred fictional answer "No, you will continue to live as a eunuch or child by my side." That answer only brings you back to the same place and brings about the condition where the refuser/denier thinks "Oh, brother. This again. I have so many better things to do than invest hours talking this horndog down from his fantasies."

Putting yourself in the position of "simpering nag" prolongs the pain for both of you. If you do accept this response, you are in the "acceptance" phase and should ask yourself whether you should do so willingly/voluntarily rather than having acceptance forced on you. If you accept it on purpose, this allows you to stop expending time and effort in the futility that faces you and pursuing a life that will bring you much more meaning and de-emphasizes her role in it. She has chosen to be a mother at the exclusion of other portions of her life. You will exclude the role of "husband" from your life and the ramifications of that decision may well improve your outlook, your life, your future, and your mood.