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Post by toughtiger on Feb 11, 2024 16:27:45 GMT -5
Today I can see that my responsibilities were confined to clearly and consistently expressing what was on my mind. The rest was on him. It was never my job to get him to understand what he chose not to hear. toughtiger please don’t dement yourself trying to get this pillock to understand. Invest that energy in yourself. Yes i see it now.... he woke up this morning looks like hell and he said he felt exhausted told him holding up the pretense finally got to him do my things around him ..... he asked if i was leaving and told NOPE you are get out..... he has zero friends/ and no family ..... he is bad with his money and would make a mess of anything ... told him i simply do not care about his petty little problems. right now he is running around trying to appease me trying to not do his annoying habits etc... i walk by him like he is invisible. he is a ghost in the house..... |
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Missingout
Full Member
Posts: 244
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by Missingout on Feb 12, 2024 10:22:09 GMT -5
Today I can see that my responsibilities were confined to clearly and consistently expressing what was on my mind. The rest was on him. It was never my job to get him to understand what he chose not to hear. toughtiger please don’t dement yourself trying to get this pillock to understand. Invest that energy in yourself. Yes i see it now.... he woke up this morning looks like hell and he said he felt exhausted told him holding up the pretense finally got to him do my things around him ..... he asked if i was leaving and told NOPE you are get out..... he has zero friends/ and no family ..... he is bad with his money and would make a mess of anything ... told him i simply do not care about his petty little problems. right now he is running around trying to appease me trying to not do his annoying habits etc... i walk by him like he is invisible. he is a ghost in the house..... You gave him the boot??!!! |
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Post by toughtiger on Feb 13, 2024 23:52:35 GMT -5
i told him to leave ......
.he instead is running around trying to make amends like he possibly could .........told him our marriage died there is no resurrection
he simply like every thing else in life IGNORES stuff and hopes the magic fairy takes hold...
he tried to hug me and kiss my cheek and i just crossed my arms so it was distance between us.
i would leave except i recently took a great job and do not want to leave my boss in the lurch....
how messed up is that a boss i just met 3 months ago has my respect and i have zero for my spouse. i hope spouse does NOT pull some stunt tomorrow i have not been his valentine for many years .... i will not accept some dumb phony hail mary type move ... i will throw it back in his face.
our anniversary is coming up but he NEVER remembers that anyway.
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Post by worksforme2 on Feb 14, 2024 4:30:35 GMT -5
toughtiger,...You are now fully ensconsed in a difficult time for your life and marriage. It reads like a physical seperation may be soon taking place. If so please don't let the animosity rule your way forward. Things will get better as you get through this. Hoping for the best outcome for you. wfm2
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Post by toughtiger on Feb 14, 2024 9:20:48 GMT -5
i thought i would share a laugh with you all to celebrate valentines day....
yesterday came home pkg on doorstep .......i just looked at name and was first name only same as spouse so threw it on the kitchen table.....
when he came in.... HE can not remember IF he ordered things ...who knows how much money he wastes ordering junk then not even remembering how would he know if he never received?
Anyway he looks says weird my stuff always has the last name .... but opened it to find a very sexy pink bra not my size lol.... he looks again and sees it was for neighbor also with same first name.... I told him probably a gift for his Wife and to take over explain the thing ... he was well maybe tomorrow etc
i said tomorrow is valentines day that is his gift to her.... so he said he would drop off on porch an opened package....
i told him they have a ring camera so they will know who it was.... Just be a man and just take it over
This morning at 5 am he put on ski mask and huge hooded sweatshirt and threw it on their porch.......... lmao
So he knows what today IS .... sees the guy next door( he is 74) still buys things hoping to get some etc....him in his i'll do anything not to move/ divorce did not even wish me a good day... CLUELESS is the only description i can see.
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Post by lonelyhubby on Feb 14, 2024 9:36:40 GMT -5
Unbelievable! Sorry for your experience. I love my wife and gave flowers to my daughter also - but feel the need to wish you a "Happy Valentine's Day" as well.
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Missingout
Full Member
Posts: 244
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by Missingout on Feb 14, 2024 11:47:29 GMT -5
i thought i would share a laugh with you all to celebrate valentines day.... yesterday came home pkg on doorstep .......i just looked at name and was first name only same as spouse so threw it on the kitchen table..... when he came in.... HE can not remember IF he ordered things ...who knows how much money he wastes ordering junk then not even remembering how would he know if he never received? Anyway he looks says weird my stuff always has the last name .... but opened it to find a very sexy pink bra not my size lol.... he looks again and sees it was for neighbor also with same first name.... I told him probably a gift for his Wife and to take over explain the thing ... he was well maybe tomorrow etc i said tomorrow is valentines day that is his gift to her.... so he said he would drop off on porch an opened package.... i told him they have a ring camera so they will know who it was.... Just be a man and just take it over This morning at 5 am he put on ski mask and huge hooded sweatshirt and threw it on their porch.......... lmao So he knows what today IS .... sees the guy next door( he is 74) still buys things hoping to get some etc....him in his i'll do anything not to move/ divorce did not even wish me a good day... CLUELESS is the only description i can see. That is hilarious!!!! He should stay and talk to your neighbor and get some pointers🤪. Happy Valentine's Day!!!! |
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Post by week5of35years on Feb 15, 2024 6:27:13 GMT -5
i thought i would share a laugh with you all to celebrate valentines day.... yesterday came home pkg on doorstep .......i just looked at name and was first name only same as spouse so threw it on the kitchen table..... when he came in.... HE can not remember IF he ordered things ...who knows how much money he wastes ordering junk then not even remembering how would he know if he never received? Anyway he looks says weird my stuff always has the last name .... but opened it to find a very sexy pink bra not my size lol.... he looks again and sees it was for neighbor also with same first name.... I told him probably a gift for his Wife and to take over explain the thing ... he was well maybe tomorrow etc i said tomorrow is valentines day that is his gift to her.... so he said he would drop off on porch an opened package.... i told him they have a ring camera so they will know who it was.... Just be a man and just take it over This morning at 5 am he put on ski mask and huge hooded sweatshirt and threw it on their porch.......... lmao So he knows what today IS .... sees the guy next door( he is 74) still buys things hoping to get some etc....him in his i'll do anything not to move/ divorce did not even wish me a good day... CLUELESS is the only description i can see. The Ski mask and hoodie is the thing that nails this guys personality..... OMGeeeez.... |
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Post by toughtiger on Feb 15, 2024 8:11:48 GMT -5
i told him they have a ring camera so they will know who it was.... Just be a man and just take it over This morning at 5 am he put on ski mask and huge hooded sweatshirt and threw it on their porch.......... lmao So he knows what today IS .... sees the guy next door( he is 74) still buys things hoping to get some etc....him in his i'll do anything not to move/ divorce did not even wish me a good day... CLUELESS is the only description i can see. The Ski mask and hoodie is the thing that nails this guys personality..... OMGeeeez.... it says he can not own his mistake and he hides from any responsibility....... this is a complete analogy of his mindset. Our daughter reminded us most delivery anymore takes photo of where they left and it would show our house .... if neighbor tried to verify he know who had it. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Feb 15, 2024 9:03:00 GMT -5
The Ski mask and hoodie is the thing that nails this guys personality..... OMGeeeez.... it says he can not own his mistake and he hides from any responsibility....... this is a complete analogy of his mindset. Our daughter reminded us most delivery anymore takes photo of where they left and it would show our house .... if neighbor tried to verify he know who had it. Your daughter is wise! Even though this incident,is 100% your "h's" fault, it sounds like it could eventually involve you too? ( You and the family are neighbors. This might be a 'blessing in disguise' for you to go and explain the truth to the neighbor,and tell them a bit of your 'situation', and see how it goes? It could go very well and you will have more people to understand your situation when you need it. My now ex woman (girlfriend) of 3 years, used to assist me on my side job of mowing lawns for my tennants and neighbors. They all loved her and really enjoyed her company! near the end she had some bad things to say about me...mostly her covering up her fear of commitment and self doubt. After I had the opportunity to explain 'my side' of things, they all sided with me and where glad to hear my explanation of things. We all came to the conclusion, "she has a troubled past , and problems that I can't fix". |
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Post by DryCreek on Feb 16, 2024 1:08:26 GMT -5
The Ski mask and hoodie is the thing that nails this guys personality..... OMGeeeez.... it says he can not own his mistake and he hides from any responsibility....... this is a complete analogy of his mindset. Our daughter reminded us most delivery anymore takes photo of where they left and it would show our house .... if neighbor tried to verify he know who had it.
Have some fun and out him.
"Hi, Fred. You probably saw Jerry on your Ring doorbell dropping off a package... it was delivered to us by mistake. Sorry, he opened it without reading the label but was too embarrassed to admit it. Feel free to give him a hard time about it. And he could use some Valentine's pointers if you're ever inclined."
DC
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Post by mirrororchid on Feb 16, 2024 7:07:07 GMT -5
The expression "The cover-up is worse than the crime." beckons.
This was totally a "could happen to anyone" moment. Opening a package with my first name, no last name? I could totally see myself do this.
Instead, the grievous threadbare addressing on the package was transformed into an expose on mental illness.
Aside:
At first I typed "metal illness" and thought, my lord someone better have used that for a band name.
Yes. Someone has. Good. That'd be a crime against humanity to let that opportunity go to waste.
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Post by aquacat on Feb 16, 2024 7:28:00 GMT -5
I got my wife some velvet material bra and panties. She has yet to wear them.  Your husband needs to man up and own that he made a mistake. I'm sure the neighbor would understand the package was delivered to your house by mistake. |
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Post by toughtiger on Feb 16, 2024 7:35:04 GMT -5
the reality is everyone i have told this to... even our daughter discussed among her friends
keep asking why did he just not take over and explain the address is practically the same and again with only a first name same common one used by spouse and neighbor this was a simple mistake.
the neighbor i am sure would have not had an issue but this was my spouses solution.
I guess i should have done what i used to and take it over and explain and such FOR him... i may reach out and say something to them but at this point they may think we are both insane.
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Post by greatcoastal on Feb 16, 2024 9:10:21 GMT -5
the reality is everyone i have told this to... even our daughter discussed among her friends keep asking why did he just not take over and explain the address is practically the same and again with only a first name same common one used by spouse and neighbor this was a simple mistake. the neighbor i am sure would have not had an issue but this was my spouses solution. I guess i should have done what i used to and take it over and explain and such FOR him... i may reach out and say something to them but at this point they may think we are both insane. Seize the day ,my friend, seize the day! Psalms 34:17 According to researchers at Penn state University, only about 8% of the things people worry about come true! |
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