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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 22, 2024 20:09:14 GMT -5
He's aware of the truth, because he sees mommy taking time to "look good" for dad, with her make up, exercising, and getting dressed up for a date. Seeing mummy taking time to look good for daddy? Is daddy taking time to look good for mummy? I think it more likely she’s looking good for herself and her own self esteem. That’s the “truth” for every woman I know. I think a lot of us who have gone through ( or are in ) a SM have done every trick in the book to look good for mummy or daddy! The stories abound about the sexy clothes or lack of clothing, the gifts, the wining and dining, touching, massaging, loosing weight, planning romantic trips etc... So yeah,, we're going to be over the moon for a new partner who appreciates and reciprocates these things in return. Maybe that makes us good candidates for a 2nd relationship because we'll highly value it and won't take it for granite. |
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Missingout
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Age Range: 46-50
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Post by Missingout on Apr 22, 2024 22:16:52 GMT -5
Given that virtually all of the women and men have been refused in SMs. I don't understand why anyone here wouldn't think it's important for their partner to find them attractive. Most of us had problems in our marriages because our partners didn't act like they considered us sexy or attractive when it came to physical looks. If my partner only thought my personality was attractive, I'd be worried that he might like me as a friend or roommate but not as a lover. BTDT. I don't want to be in that situation again. I find nothing wrong with physical attractiveness being high on the list for what men and women look for in partners. If a man doesn't find me physically appealing, I don't want him to waste both of our time by dating me. Absolutely!! I am head over heals for a woman who finds me attractive. I have gone soo long not having this I'm afraid that the first one that comes along I'll be rushing things. I have to pull that in and try different flavors first. 😏 |
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 23, 2024 6:28:50 GMT -5
Given that virtually all of the women and men have been refused in SMs. I don't understand why anyone here wouldn't think it's important for their partner to find them attractive. Most of us had problems in our marriages because our partners didn't act like they considered us sexy or attractive when it came to physical looks. If my partner only thought my personality was attractive, I'd be worried that he might like me as a friend or roommate but not as a lover. BTDT. I don't want to be in that situation again. I find nothing wrong with physical attractiveness being high on the list for what men and women look for in partners. If a man doesn't find me physically appealing, I don't want him to waste both of our time by dating me. Absolutely!! I am head over heals for a woman who finds me attractive. I have gone soo long not having this I'm afraid that the first one that comes along I'll be rushing things. I have to pull that in and try different flavors first. 😏 This is some good advise to self. When my SM ended I hit the dating scene like a man in the desert walking up on an oasis. I fell in lust with every woman who showed interest in me. Needless to say that approach didn't take me where I wanted to go. I won't say that slow and steady wins the race, but at least you won't be like the roadrunner cartoon where the cayote runs headlong into a cactus or side of a mountain. Plan how you will be working your approach to re-engaging with the ladies, and then work your plan. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 23, 2024 16:10:02 GMT -5
#4: Don't be anxious: . In their second marriages, most men really value openmindedness and cognitive flexibility.
This is true in the example given of a spouse who turns the children against the other spouse. Convincing them that your mother/father is just a mad angry person ( wash, rinse, repeat)
On the other hand...I've read countless articles that say men want peace, trust,steady routine, ( almost boredom- I so dislike it when peace,,trust, safety, and consistency is called boring!! -but I digress...)
Does open-minded and cognitive flexibility = Happy, entertaining, fun, adventure, new and bold, always changing, unpredictable, travel, travel, travel???
After a couple who are having a second go at it, are having sex/intimacy....say 3 yrs. later for the 900th time... can it be highly valued for how well the two people know what each other wants ,and deliver it with care and compassion? Compared to it having to be something "new and different" that ends up being awkward,difficult, painful, embarrassing, tiring, or one sided?
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Post by shamwow on May 26, 2024 19:02:38 GMT -5
I had a weird criteria. Anyone I was with post divorce had to know what the show "The A-Team" was.
Not that they had to have ever seen a single episode or could tell me who was on it or what it was about. Bit they had to have heard of it.
Why?
Well, I wasn't looking for some young honey that I would have nothing in common with. There is more than just being in between the sheets in a relationship, and why make it harder with a 10-20 year age gap.
Also someone that much younger would likely also have kids and wouldn't have a biological clock screaming "NOW" wanting children of her own.
For me, the results have been great. I now have BOC (a couple years older than me) and I. We have blended our families and are on the same point in our life trajectory.
I love it when a plan comes together....
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Missingout
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Age Range: 46-50
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Post by Missingout on May 27, 2024 3:49:15 GMT -5
I had a weird criteria. Anyone I was with post divorce had to know what the show "The A-Team" was. Not that they had to have ever seen a single episode or could tell me who was on it or what it was about. Bit they had to have heard of it. Why? Well, I wasn't looking for some young honey that I would have nothing in common with. There is more than just being in between the sheets in a relationship, and why make it harder with a 10-20 year age gap. Also someone that much younger would likely also have kids and wouldn't have a biological clock screaming "NOW" wanting children of her own. For me, the results have been great. I now have BOC (a couple years older than me) and I. We have blended our families and are on the same point in our life trajectory. I love it when a plan comes together.... Great criteria and great show!! Great plan! Oh by the way ,,, is there a date? |
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Post by shamwow on May 27, 2024 9:10:35 GMT -5
I had a weird criteria. Anyone I was with post divorce had to know what the show "The A-Team" was. Not that they had to have ever seen a single episode or could tell me who was on it or what it was about. Bit they had to have heard of it. Why? Well, I wasn't looking for some young honey that I would have nothing in common with. There is more than just being in between the sheets in a relationship, and why make it harder with a 10-20 year age gap. Also someone that much younger would likely also have kids and wouldn't have a biological clock screaming "NOW" wanting children of her own. For me, the results have been great. I now have BOC (a couple years older than me) and I. We have blended our families and are on the same point in our life trajectory. I love it when a plan comes together.... Great criteria and great show!! Great plan! Oh by the way ,,, is there a date? Yup. But it's about the least romantic date possible. BOC's refusing, gay, meth head, HIV infested, syphilis infested, anal wart infested, deadbeat dad, thief, and other titled husband died of a drug overdose during the 4 year long divorce process, leaving her a widow. As a result, if she does not remarry before age 60, she can claim his social security benefits. That's roughly 25k per year more than if she claimed her own which obviously factors into our retirement plans. We've been together 7 years now and have lived together 4 1/2 of those. We are engaged and can forgoe the "permission slip" to marry from the state for another 4 1/2 years to secure our long term future. So sometime in early 2029 will have to count for the date. |
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Missingout
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Age Range: 46-50
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Post by Missingout on May 28, 2024 3:52:00 GMT -5
Great criteria and great show!! Great plan! Oh by the way ,,, is there a date? Yup. But it's about the least romantic date possible. BOC's refusing, gay, meth head, HIV infested, syphilis infested, anal wart infested, deadbeat dad, thief, and other titled husband died of a drug overdose during the 4 year long divorce process, leaving her a widow. As a result, if she does not remarry before age 60, she can claim his social security benefits. That's roughly 25k per year more than if she claimed her own which obviously factors into our retirement plans. We've been together 7 years now and have lived together 4 1/2 of those. We are engaged and can forgoe the "permission slip" to marry from the state for another 4 1/2 years to secure our long term future. So sometime in early 2029 will have to count for the date. WOW! Always something. Well you both have weathered the storms. I hope social security will be around still. Good luck brother and thanks for sharing. |
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Post by shamwow on May 28, 2024 11:30:22 GMT -5
Yup. But it's about the least romantic date possible. BOC's refusing, gay, meth head, HIV infested, syphilis infested, anal wart infested, deadbeat dad, thief, and other titled husband died of a drug overdose during the 4 year long divorce process, leaving her a widow. As a result, if she does not remarry before age 60, she can claim his social security benefits. That's roughly 25k per year more than if she claimed her own which obviously factors into our retirement plans. We've been together 7 years now and have lived together 4 1/2 of those. We are engaged and can forgoe the "permission slip" to marry from the state for another 4 1/2 years to secure our long term future. So sometime in early 2029 will have to count for the date. WOW! Always something. Well you both have weathered the storms. I hope social security will be around still. Good luck brother and thanks for sharing. It likely will be there, even if diminished. Best plan is to ensure you get as big a slice of it as possible but rely on your own savings as the primary means of funding retirement. |
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