|
Post by greatcoastal on Apr 22, 2024 20:09:14 GMT -5
He's aware of the truth, because he sees mommy taking time to "look good" for dad, with her make up, exercising, and getting dressed up for a date. Seeing mummy taking time to look good for daddy? Is daddy taking time to look good for mummy? I think it more likely she’s looking good for herself and her own self esteem. That’s the “truth” for every woman I know. I think a lot of us who have gone through ( or are in ) a SM have done every trick in the book to look good for mummy or daddy! The stories abound about the sexy clothes or lack of clothing, the gifts, the wining and dining, touching, massaging, loosing weight, planning romantic trips etc... So yeah,, we're going to be over the moon for a new partner who appreciates and reciprocates these things in return. Maybe that makes us good candidates for a 2nd relationship because we'll highly value it and won't take it for granite.
|
|
Missingout
Full Member
Posts: 196
Age Range: 46-50
|
Post by Missingout on Apr 22, 2024 22:16:52 GMT -5
Given that virtually all of the women and men have been refused in SMs. I don't understand why anyone here wouldn't think it's important for their partner to find them attractive. Most of us had problems in our marriages because our partners didn't act like they considered us sexy or attractive when it came to physical looks. If my partner only thought my personality was attractive, I'd be worried that he might like me as a friend or roommate but not as a lover. BTDT. I don't want to be in that situation again. I find nothing wrong with physical attractiveness being high on the list for what men and women look for in partners. If a man doesn't find me physically appealing, I don't want him to waste both of our time by dating me. Absolutely!! I am head over heals for a woman who finds me attractive. I have gone soo long not having this I'm afraid that the first one that comes along I'll be rushing things. I have to pull that in and try different flavors first. 😏
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Apr 23, 2024 6:28:50 GMT -5
Given that virtually all of the women and men have been refused in SMs. I don't understand why anyone here wouldn't think it's important for their partner to find them attractive. Most of us had problems in our marriages because our partners didn't act like they considered us sexy or attractive when it came to physical looks. If my partner only thought my personality was attractive, I'd be worried that he might like me as a friend or roommate but not as a lover. BTDT. I don't want to be in that situation again. I find nothing wrong with physical attractiveness being high on the list for what men and women look for in partners. If a man doesn't find me physically appealing, I don't want him to waste both of our time by dating me. Absolutely!! I am head over heals for a woman who finds me attractive. I have gone soo long not having this I'm afraid that the first one that comes along I'll be rushing things. I have to pull that in and try different flavors first. 😏 This is some good advise to self. When my SM ended I hit the dating scene like a man in the desert walking up on an oasis. I fell in lust with every woman who showed interest in me. Needless to say that approach didn't take me where I wanted to go. I won't say that slow and steady wins the race, but at least you won't be like the roadrunner cartoon where the cayote runs headlong into a cactus or side of a mountain. Plan how you will be working your approach to re-engaging with the ladies, and then work your plan.
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on Apr 23, 2024 16:10:02 GMT -5
#4: Don't be anxious: . In their second marriages, most men really value openmindedness and cognitive flexibility.
This is true in the example given of a spouse who turns the children against the other spouse. Convincing them that your mother/father is just a mad angry person ( wash, rinse, repeat)
On the other hand...I've read countless articles that say men want peace, trust,steady routine, ( almost boredom- I so dislike it when peace,,trust, safety, and consistency is called boring!! -but I digress...)
Does open-minded and cognitive flexibility = Happy, entertaining, fun, adventure, new and bold, always changing, unpredictable, travel, travel, travel???
After a couple who are having a second go at it, are having sex/intimacy....say 3 yrs. later for the 900th time... can it be highly valued for how well the two people know what each other wants ,and deliver it with care and compassion? Compared to it having to be something "new and different" that ends up being awkward,difficult, painful, embarrassing, tiring, or one sided?
|
|