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Post by unmatched on Jun 14, 2016 19:20:03 GMT -5
Excellent work, JMX - I was so struck by your kindness to him (like a good spousal mom almost - - something like that - - far from being equals, it reads like you are helping the mentally & emotionally handicapped one gain SOME sense of personhood) Exactly this - it sounds like trying to look after a retarded kitten! JMX, you are doing this with so much strength and compassion. It is like you have just dropped all the crap and taken your life in both hands and stood up. I know it is hard, but I bet it feels good too. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 23:22:24 GMT -5
JMX, you are amazing. I love the way you explained to him how things are going to unfold. You were able to speak in your own best interests, while still being kind to him. This has to be one of the most difficult conversations a person will ever have - and you knocked it out of the park!
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 15, 2016 5:10:40 GMT -5
greatcoastal - not sure if you are commenting on the story with the proper history and context. I always put my husband first, my children second because that is how you model a successful relationship. I care more about their future emotional health than I do appeasement and being the "best mommy" now. I am a realist and do not spoil my children. My husband is sincerely, a lazy sack of shit. It will be about the money because that is what he cares about. Carry on. Thanks for that clarity. I was going by your own quote " he doesn't live and breathe for them". |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2016 22:55:09 GMT -5
A little humorous perspective, from me, to you, JMX .  |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 19, 2016 21:51:32 GMT -5
LOVE how you are doing this JMX. Beautiful example you are setting of how to take the high road. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 21, 2016 6:30:55 GMT -5
so.....is no news good news? what's it like going through the "limbo" stage/ are you avoiding each other more?
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Post by JMX on Jun 21, 2016 10:05:55 GMT -5
so.....is no news good news? what's it like going through the "limbo" stage/ are you avoiding each other more? Not necessarily. Thinking through some things and trying to deal with everything plus the kitchen sink being thrown my way in kindness. |
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Post by bballgirl on Jun 21, 2016 13:53:13 GMT -5
so.....is no news good news? what's it like going through the "limbo" stage/ are you avoiding each other more? Not necessarily. Thinking through some things and trying to deal with everything plus the kitchen sink being thrown my way in kindness. You hang in there honey. I completely understand. Everything in your life and all of your responsibilities don't go away and divorce is a lot of work with paperwork, phone calls, emails, etc. Its like a temp job on top of your normal responsibilities but the key word is temporary, so don't worry this too will pass and you will be free!! |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2016 18:59:50 GMT -5
"I will not live like this anymore."
That's a line those considering The Talk may want to have tucked away. It doesn't blame anyone, and it doesn't ask for anything. It says you are going to take action. "I can't live like this anymore" does not say you are going to act. It just says you're unhappy, which from a refuser will just get you a yawn.
If they don't take you seriously, jurisdiction dependent of course, that may make it a lot easier. They can't fend off a divorce by stalling. If they won't act, the judge will.
He'll probably catch on to this fact pretty soon.
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