Head Emerging from Sand, if ever so Slightly

I have to say that my wife would say something similar, but not about the XBox.  She would say that I love doing things with the kids as long as it's something I like doing.  For her, she would sometimes say my work gets in the way of the kids.  

I'm human.  It's easier for me to go dirt biking, fishing, or playing sports than going horseback riding or fingernail painting.  But I do try -- once shamed into it, unfortunately.  

In fact, one of the things my kids are frequently trying to get me to do is play XBox.  They love getting me into a game of COD Black Ops so they can shoot me like a fish in a barrel.  It's high humor to them, but terribly frustrating for me.  

Funny, in an attempt to enjoy that more, I told my daughter to train me for an hour.  Walk me around the map and show me the moves.  Then after a couple hours I was killing her, and the fun was over.  WTH!!

Please continue to gently encourage your husband in that regard.  It may seem to fall on deaf ears, but it does have an effect over time.  It's called leadership.  Your husband has abdicated this responsibility, so it is incumbent on you to help him step up and do it.  He'll have to do that once you're gone -- from the marriage -- or he WILL lose the thing most important to him.  

I'll defer to BBG as authoritative here, but my take is uncontested means "we want to divorce, and we'll negotiate the terms first", where contested is "these are my demands, and if he doesn't counter then it's a done deal".

I recall in BBG's case he let it default, so it was done quick.

Under no circumstances would I send any docs to BIL.  If H is not a big enough boy to get his own advice, you would just be creating headaches for yourself.  Even if you're not out for revenge, more opinions is likely to add complexity not simplify.

Thanks DryCreek and bballgirl! I guess we can see how it shakes out

bballgirl - did you have him served at work or did you just serve him yourself?

You can't do it yourself.

It has to be through the court and that felt like the longest time in the process.

I requested that they serve him at the house when I knew he would be there before work. Another option was for my husband to allow me to give the attorney his cell number so the process server could call him and meet him somewhere but he wouldn't agree or give me that permission.

The process server has to serve him and that gets recorded with the court because after that the clock is running and it's game on.

You are my shero of the week, again, JMX. I admire how incredibly patient and gracious you have been throughout the process. The big countdown has begun. Keep your chin up!

However, I am utterly disgusted by h's complete lack of basic respect for the family - at least read the damn papers! Avoiding "unpleasant" tasks does not make them go away. It's just sad to see that he thinks he can still manipulate things to go his way. The awakening will be rude and quite jarring.