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Post by tamara68 on Nov 2, 2023 17:03:38 GMT -5
Even though it has been 7 years now, since I left my husband and don't hear anything from him and my daughter, they are in my thoughts very often. And I still often have nightmares about my ex. I dream that for some reason, we live together again. It feels very real and I feel stupid to feel trapped again. Waking up is a relief.
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Post by angeleyes65 on Nov 2, 2023 19:27:27 GMT -5
I understand. I've been out 6 years and still have nightmares. I don't see him often but just recently my son got married so I had to. I took anxiety meds a few days before and day of. Still had nightmares several nights. I truly believe many of us have PTSD.
Curious you said you don't hear from your daughter either?
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Post by greatcoastal on Nov 2, 2023 20:08:16 GMT -5
Hello!! Amazing how life works! Just yesterday I was on the phone with another female ILIASM member and we where reminiscing about people we would love to hear from again on this forum,and those whose stories, perspective and advice we really enjoyed. Your name came up immediately!
So sorry that there is still no communication with your daughter...My guess is that's what instigates these bad dreams,, you still caring and worrying about her.
( I will always have all 6 of my kids birthdays to think about them!- my youngest daughters birthday is tomorrow. Haven't heard from her, or about her in 5 yrs)
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Post by northstarmom on Nov 2, 2023 20:47:07 GMT -5
Empathy from me, Angeleyes and Great Coastal. I haven't heard from my older son in 3 years, not even a birthday greeting. I have no idea why, but he's done the same to his dad --my ex-- and his brother.
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Post by deadzone75 on Nov 2, 2023 20:50:37 GMT -5
I have frequent dreams that I still live in my SM, but it's always a different house, and even though I know she's there, I never actually see my ex in these dreams.
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Post by tamara68 on Nov 3, 2023 3:17:45 GMT -5
I understand. I've been out 6 years and still have nightmares. I don't see him often but just recently my son got married so I had to. I took anxiety meds a few days before and day of. Still had nightmares several nights. I truly believe many of us have PTSD. Curious you said you don't hear from your daughter either? I can imagine. I think we do have PTSD. My daughter lives with her dad. I heard from her and her dad 1.5 years ago. when she just turned 21. That was a demand for money from him. I replied that I gladly wanted to meet with her to talk about what I could do for her. A year ago she changed her bank account and since then I am more closed off from her than ever. |
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Post by tamara68 on Nov 3, 2023 3:21:50 GMT -5
Hello!! Amazing how life works! Just yesterday I was on the phone with another female ILIASM member and we where reminiscing about people we would love to hear from again on this forum,and those whose stories, perspective and advice we really enjoyed. Your name came up immediately! So sorry that there is still no communication with your daughter...My guess is that's what instigates these bad dreams,, you still caring and worrying about her. ( I will always have all 6 of my kids birthdays to think about them!- my youngest daughters birthday is tomorrow. Haven't heard from her, or about her in 5 yrs) I am not her very often anymore, but I think about the 'old' ILIASM members quite often. I am sorry that you didn't hear from your daughter in such a long time! I still send e-mails now and then to my daughter. But it is difficult to know what to write without replies. Recently I sent her a book and intend to send more books occasionnaly. I am looking for books that have a positive feeling or a message that stimulates to take action and start exploring, living her own life. |
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Post by tamara68 on Nov 3, 2023 3:24:34 GMT -5
Empathy from me, Angeleyes and Great Coastal. I haven't heard from my older son in 3 years, not even a birthday greeting. I have no idea why, but he's done the same to his dad --my ex-- and his brother. I am sorry you are going through this pain also. Partially, I think children do this to avoid pain. They maybe find it easier to pretend they don't have parents, than to confront reality and face whatever pain there is. |
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Post by tamara68 on Nov 3, 2023 3:30:43 GMT -5
I have frequent dreams that I still live in my SM, but it's always a different house, and even though I know she's there, I never actually see my ex in these dreams. In my dreams, I am also in a different house. I dream that I returned to him for some reason. Sometimes I dream that he sets a trap of some kind. I always feel guilty and responsible and than I am stuck again. |
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Post by sweetplumeria on Nov 9, 2023 4:02:53 GMT -5
I really hate nightmares and since I'm still in my sexless marriage I don't have them about this. But often enough I have them about my youngest son only he's a small child and usually something really devastating is happening. I wake up and I'm very unsettled and can't go back to sleep. I hate that. I hope your dreams get better!
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Post by tamara68 on Nov 9, 2023 10:39:07 GMT -5
sweetplumeria Those dreams can be so intense, right? Sometimes those unsettled feelings take a long time to disappear. I hope your dreams get better too!
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Post by catlover on Nov 9, 2023 16:16:49 GMT -5
Please don't throw the phrase PTSD around so lightly. It is a debilitating, sometimes life-threatening, serious mental affliction. Similarly, people make light of conditions like OCD and depression.
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Post by sweetplumeria on Nov 10, 2023 0:43:22 GMT -5
Please don't throw the phrase PTSD around so lightly. It is a debilitating, sometimes life-threatening, serious mental affliction. Similarly, people make light of conditions like OCD and depression. I been thinking about this after an IRL convo. Maybe there should be a term for PTSD light. Like the reactions are similar in nature but less in intensity. Idk. Please don't be offended this is a topic I take seriously. I still jump at sounds but in my current life no one knows about throwing furniture and juggling hammers from my childhood life. People need a non war equivalent for the idea of PTSD. Again please try not to get mad as I really do take this idea and application seriously. Perhaps terminology like trauma response is better? |
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Missingout
Full Member
Posts: 244
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by Missingout on Nov 11, 2023 5:57:14 GMT -5
Please don't throw the phrase PTSD around so lightly. It is a debilitating, sometimes life-threatening, serious mental affliction. Similarly, people make light of conditions like OCD and depression. I don’t see anyone “throwing it around lightly” I don’t know everyone’s background and I don’t question their reasoning of there fears. I know multiple police and military personnel with PTSD from all kinds of trauma in there lives not just job specific. Many from there own home lives. That being said everyone here tread lightly and are very kind to each other. Keep it going without any apologies needed. |
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Post by ironhamster on Nov 13, 2023 3:32:52 GMT -5
Kids not communicating. I think modern technology has influenced this. If they don't like someone, they block them on social media. So, they don't think twice about blocking a loved one for whatever frivolous reason. My youngest just turned 21 and took control of her UGMA. I haven't heard back from her for two months. My eldest, same thing, but four years this month. They're independently wealthy now so they don't need to suck up to their father.
So, I can speculate. Everyone needs a villain in their lives. Without a real villain, the imagination takes over, with the likely assistance of an influential adult to feed that need. In time, I trust they will wake up to this, but I don't know if it will be before I shuffle off this mortal coil. I hope everyone else's kids are less stubborn.
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