5 reasons men are DONE with dating

"No one flirts better than a woman who knows you don't live near them!"

Sounds like a "Latin" dance, Salsa or Bachata.  I went to a dance class where the salsa patterns where much more ' intimate' than my liking. (prefect for when I have a long term relationship)
The flirting and touching happens all the time ! However I've gotten used to the " thanks for the dance, you're a great dancer" and on to the next man,and going home alone.
I go dancing 'just to dance with no expectations of meeting a woman who wants anything more than a dance.

example: I've known this woman for 2 yrs now,we've had "the talk" - i'm not 'the one' ( she has green grass syndrome) she dates a guy who looks and acts like George Costanza!! He's got years of dancing experience,and knowledge but hardly ever goes dancing with her and works a 3rd shift job.  I danced many, many,times with her last night
Constant flirting from her! 
I got a new shirt in the mail and wore it last night. It has a leopard pattern on it, she complimented me on it, runs her hands across my shoulders, says " I like the feel of it!"
  I say to her " You should get a blouse that has a leopard pattern on it, I see lots of the women wearing them, it would look very good on you, it would fit your personality! LOL!  do you own any? I don't think I've ever seen you wearing one ( she dresses  a bit to masculine/tomboyish for a woman who has a very fit female figure and gorgeous long hair)

She responds " I own something with a leopard skin pattern on it, it's a rain coat!" ( we're dancing and talking together the whole time)
Then she adds " I've got some "l "word things that I wear at home....you're face is turning red!!"
I respond"  you really like doing that to me don't you!!"  Side note: I tell her dirty jokes that turn her face red too!
She then says " I don't think I'd want to wear something dancing that has a leopard skin pattern because i don't want to give the impression that I'm a cougar".
(yes I know what that means)
 I said" really? I've never seen a woman wearing that and ever thought about her that way!" 
She responded " well that's good to know!"

This same woman texts me this morning and wants to know if I'll be at the dance tonight and wants to show me a video and a new pattern!  But we declared long ago DPO!

Example: I drive 30 minutes to another town for a new  beginner series of dance lessons (WCS- West Coast Swing). We are all told to grab a partner. The couples stay with each other, the singles form a circle the men stay in there location, the women rotate to the next partner.
I manage to go up to the prettiest woman in the room! ( she stands 5'11"  ( I'm 5'9") close to my age, long dark brunette curly hair, my skin color, full figured ,great shape!)

She immediately wants to know my name, she says " I remember you!! I think we've danced before".
I'm kinda taken back thinking, I rarely come here, it's been a while, and you remember me? What a great compliment!! ....Then the reality sets in.. I tell myself " she remembers that I know how to lead and dance at her level and  I am more advanced than her, so I'll make her look good on the dance floor- got it!  She wants what I have to offer, dancing, and probably little else"

I ask her about her dance knowledge/experience?  She tells me " It's been years, I mostly know ballroom dancing, I'm trying to get back into it".
I tell her " I know every other dance, but I've not been able to learn WCS, it's so different in the beginning"
She says " I had the same problem"   So where more relaxed and in agreement on that!

Side note: If anything, dancing has certainly improved my talking/communication skills with a woman. I can talk dance for hours!!
I ask her about a couple different patterns and name each one.  She says " I don't remember the names I just follow".
While holding her hand the whole time we stand face to face and I go over different movement of the hand, what and when it signals, in different patterns. I tell her  " too many of the ladies here like to 'correct my hand movement'."
She responds"  these ladies need to stop leading and learn to follow, what ever you do i will try to follow it"
We rotate and change partners, I don't hear or see her talking with any of the other men like she spoke with me.  Shortly we are paired together again. I ask her " how's it going so far?"
She tells me " you really know what your doing, you have good timing and the others are not getting it"  ( I hear that a lot- I know the other men and they normally dance as good as me or better!)
Than comes the questions- " will you be coming back? Are you going to take more lessons? Are you staying later for the dance?"
I did go out of my way to approach her again as I was leaving, saying " thanks for helping me with my hand pattern, I greatly appreciate it, i'll see you next week"  ( all said with confidence and a smile) and out the door I go.
I've learned not to put anything into those questions other than " I need a DPO Dance Partner Only"

Meeting women on the dance floor,or at a dance lesson is very different from sitting across the room ( or next to her) at a bible study! dancing is hand holding, back touching, some body contact, face to face. ( I also dance with a majority of married women,and women older than me, widowed and divorced)
You learn to have a "it's just a dance mentality"  Kind of like our spouses in a Sexless Marriage!!

I'll be going on 2 yrs. of dancing 5 times a week, with little to show for it in the dating/sex/intimacy dept.  I'm planning on scaling back the dancing and branching out into other activities and places to meet people.

Re-posting due to spam.

ironically, I wore a new leopard print short sleeve ,button down shirt to the moose lodge the other day for my regular Sunday night dance.
I had worked up a sweat with all the dancing the night was almost over, just a few of us die hards where around, so I was saying my cordial goodbye/goodnight to friends and acquaintances.
Near the door stood two women I know. One owns her own dance studio and the other is a non stop talker who's personality is hard to deal with.( lots of the men avoid her)
I tell them good night, and they both compliment my shirt with their words,and then ,instantly...comes the hands! Both  women at the same time!! (with me standing between them)
Up and down my arms, across my shoulders, down my back, and across my chest!! Squeezing my biceps!! Saying "I like the feel of it" And " I love feeling a smooth shirt when I'm dancing and run my hands on it".


I finally, sheepishly said " I don't mind" .
In reality I do mind, unless it's someone whom I've spent time to bond with and establish that close of a touch relationship.
More and more flirting....yet it triggers bad memories of "the moving of the goal post...or the dangling of the carrot" that I endured in my SM.


Thinking about the double standards...and what would happen if two men did that to a woman?
I shared my story with 3 different women that I know ( 2 of them where there that night) and received 3 very different responses!

At age 60 this was a first for me! More 'new ground' that triggers old emotions, and new ways of 'dealing with it!'