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Post by toughtiger on Oct 24, 2023 12:49:21 GMT -5
I think is is short sided to just blame age for many ... there are people that are of a certain age still enjoying a sex life....
The person refused any intimacy even if a bit older is still hurting and missing out on what i think is an important part of their lives.
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Post by mirrororchid on Oct 25, 2023 5:42:56 GMT -5
... she found she COULDN'T forgive me, but also, I hadn't actually DONE anything to warrant the size of forgiveness she'd have to offer... The issue, I think in most of these cases isn't so much the sex itself, but rather how they feel about the person they are having it with...only to discover sex again with a new partner... I think this is an impractical comparison for 99% of the cases on here. If sex was never a priority, then why come here and complain about it.... No forgiveness for teh non-existent wrong, so...no sex. It fits. And she decided not to forgive you, nor have sex. The lack of forgiveness may have much to do with the aversion to sex with the refused. The nonconcel can cause resentment which is another offense for teh refuser to hold against the refused. Perhaps a bigger issue than whatever started the refusal in the first place, replacing a small offense with a larger one, harder to forgive. New partners have not yet created an offense, nor been subjected to nonconcel to trigger the surliness that creates potentially greater offense and longer term celibacy. Lather, rinse, repeat. I point out the consensually celibate because you ask how being celibate and married is different from amicably divorced. I am adding in the comparison of happy, but celibate partners. To sharpen focus, you question people referring to their nonconcel marriage as a "marriage" because of the non-consensual nature of the celibacy, not the celibacy itself. This may have been obvious to you. It wasn't to me, or I am slow on the uptake. Perhaps a marriage that is sexual but in spite of animosity, could also be questioned whther it is truly a "marriage". Is a nonconcel marriage somehow different from a "bad marriage" that's bad for platonic reasons? |
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