Wife talked to a counselor

So if anyone has been following my posts. My wife came out as asexual when I confronted her about the lack of sex and affection.

She had her first solo counciling session yesterday and I'm not sure what to make of what she shared. Her counselor has recommended that we make time regularly to "talk" about sex and what we want out of the relationship.

We'll see how the talking goes later but I'm skeptical of talking about sex replacing the physical act which I don't see happening. If I end up more frustrated I'll just end that 

The bottom line for me. I want someone who wants me physically as much as I want them but for now I'm not leaving. I still have the financial considerations as well as my son that still lives at home.

I believe a few members here had spouses declare they were asexual, but it really meant "I am asexual regarding you." Later (either after or during the marriage) they were quite sexual towards others.
Your mileage may vary, but declaring herself asexual could be a mechanism to view herself as OK and avoid looking at a score of other issues.

since we have 2 kids, this is plausible.
The more I think about this situation the angrier I get. Years of being refused, thinking I was a bad lover or a bad husband in some way not meeting her needs only to find out it was never a problem with me but she never would outright tell me why she was refusing. It was always one or another excuse.
When she told me that she was asexual she was crying a bit and asked " but do you still love me?" I said yes but now I wish I hadn't. Hypothetical.... if I told her I was gay and her touch grossed me out, would she still love me?

I'm mad as hell, frustrated and sad but there's nothing I can do short of walking out the door. I can't bring myself to do that yet even though logically I can see that's my best course of action.

M76,...You are one of the very few people who actually got a reason for the spouses actions. I had numerous "talks" with my now X about why she acted as she did. But i never got an actual explaination. At best I got her saying she "never thinks about that at all anymore". I attributed this to menopause and lack of hormones. Doesn't matter what the reason is. The result is the same, no intimacy between you. 
You wish you had not said you still loved her. Was it the truth? If you do still love her there is always time for another talk. This itme trying to see if there is any compromise she is willing to consider. Has she talked to her doctor about hormone replacement therapy? Perhaps is she does not desire PIV you might ask her for a blowjob once a week for the sake of the marriage. Let's see is she cares enough about you and the marriage to do one thing for you. If she refuses then you know her interest is really just having you as a resource and provider, not as a real partner. 
And if she refuses you might talk to her about having a FWB and a "don't ask, don't tell" arrangement. Her response will also be telling as to how she sees you and the marriage. 

In regards to me wishing I didn't say I loved her...
I do love her but I was so quick on that reply that she hugged me, rolled over and went to sleep without any follow up conversation.


Your wife got exactly what she wanted and you got nothing....You and I sound so similar. I was far to passive, codependent, a " yes dear", full of " happy wife happy life" syndrome.
Think of it this way.... Your children are grown and moved out of the house. You see them once a year at Christmas. Do you still love them?
Of course you do! 
Your parents have either passed away or are still around ,but you have moved on independent of them. Do you still love them?
Of course you do! Are you involved with them on a daily basis? No.
Are you available to serve them, provide for them if they need you? Yes! Same applies with your wife right now.

It also sounds like you got DARVO. ( Denial, Avoidance, Reversal, Victim, and Offender)

Denial - totally denying the problem, by rolling over and going to sleep,like all is well!
Avoidance- avoiding the fact that sex and intimacy is a contract in the marriage that she breaks constantly.
Reversal- shifting all the responsibility of excepting everything the way she demands it will be.
Victim- crocodile tears, that it's a disease- not her fault, you have to except it or you don't love me!
Offender- If you dare speak up about any of your needs being met, well.... now you are being selfish. Oh the double standards! ( that we as men have been groomed to accept)

We will be talking more to see if there's a path forward. I'm hoping there's a difference between zero interest in sex and being disgusted by sex.

My friend... words without action are , just lies! Are they meaningless? Certainly not! Words do have power and can be a very useful or a very  detrimental tool! and words allow the can to be kicked down the road further and further.
A few days before pulling the plug ( getting the papers sent for the divorce)  I gave my then "w"  a choice. I asked for action.

I told her " I would like us to have sex once a week" Heck... I didn't even say " you will have sex with me once a week".  Once a week was still me giving, daily or every other day is more my need, but after more than a decade you need a new starting point.
Her response?
"I don't think I'll EVER be ready for that!"
My response? "That's what I thought."   I'll bet I had a bit of a glad smirk on my face. My brain told me " thank you lord for that 'confirmation'. I needed that to now move forward.

A year after my divorce I met a woman who filled my sexual desire beyond what I ever thought I was capable of! Along with a meaningful relationship!