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Post by DryCreek on Jun 13, 2016 10:43:57 GMT -5
Apparently, there are many men looking for a hefty woman that happens to be a tall drink of water at 6'2. A tall drink of water? Translation: "tall" It's a Southern expression, mostly Texas/Oklahoma area in my experience. And John Wayne westerns. And apparently, Florida. ;-) |
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Post by JMX on Jun 13, 2016 11:07:05 GMT -5
Translation: "tall" It's a Southern expression, mostly Texas/Oklahoma area in my experience. And John Wayne westerns. And apparently, Florida. ;-) Alabama too  |
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Post by worksforme2 on Jun 13, 2016 17:47:10 GMT -5
I guess I will be the fly in the ointment re: your tentative profile. As a male having returned to the dating game roughly 6 months ago, 8 if you count the time I spent just browsing profiles and getting a feel on what I think a woman is actually saying and putting together my own profile. I wouldn't go near a woman who posted this description of herself with a 10ft. pole. Sorry....
PS...what is "cuffing"
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2016 18:31:23 GMT -5
I guess I will be the fly in the ointment re: your tentative profile. As a male having returned to the dating game roughly 6 months ago, 8 if you count the time I spent just browsing profiles and getting a feel on what I think a woman is actually saying and putting together my own profile. I wouldn't go near a woman who posted this description of herself with a 10ft. pole. Sorry.... PS...what is "cuffing" I did say in the title it was a likely unsuccessful profile so your reaction is not surprising. We would not be a match in my eyes either, judging by the vehemence of your response. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2016 18:34:21 GMT -5
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Post by DryCreek on Jun 13, 2016 19:22:25 GMT -5
@helentishappy - isn't handcuffing always in season? ;-)
"Cuffing" is a new one on me. Living in the Southwestern USA, there's no such concept of a wintertime lover. Maybe the need for snuggling is a plus for living in the frozen North?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2016 19:34:29 GMT -5
@helentishappy - isn't handcuffing always in season? ;-) "Cuffing" is a new one on me. Living in the Southwestern USA, there's no such concept of a wintertime lover. Maybe the need for snuggling is a plus for living in the frozen North? ;-p of course it is always DryCreek! |
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Post by worksforme2 on Jun 13, 2016 19:42:59 GMT -5
I guess I will be the fly in the ointment re: your tentative profile. As a male having returned to the dating game roughly 6 months ago, 8 if you count the time I spent just browsing profiles and getting a feel on what I think a woman is actually saying and putting together my own profile. I wouldn't go near a woman who posted this description of herself with a 10ft. pole. Sorry.... PS...what is "cuffing" I did say in the title it was a likely unsuccessful profile so your reaction is not surprising. We would not be a match in my eyes either, judging by the vehemence of your response. You're right, we would not be a match. Your description of my reply as "vehemence" is quite surprising. My reply was simply meant as an innocuous but honest view of your description of your dating self profile. I apologize as I clearly rubbed you the wrong way. And 1 other comment, not as innocuous but still not seeking to be hurtful. You might want to work on those anger issues before venturing on to that 1st dating site. Thanks for the ink to the article on cuffing. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2016 19:57:29 GMT -5
I did say in the title it was a likely unsuccessful profile so your reaction is not surprising. We would not be a match in my eyes either, judging by the vehemence of your response. You're right, we would not be a match. Your description of my reply as "vehemence" is quite surprising. My reply was simply meant as an innocuous but honest view of your description of your dating self profile. I apologize as I clearly rubbed you the wrong way. And 1 other comment, not as innocuous but still not seeking to be hurtful. You might want to work on those anger issues before venturing on to that 1st dating site. Thanks for the ink to the article on cuffing. And my reply was an innocuous reply. I'd say saying you wouldn't touch someone with a 10 ft pole is a fairly forceful way of stating your opinion, which makes my use of the word vehement appropriate, not angry (any pedants and/or English majors want to chime in?). If I was displaying anger, swear words would be involved. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 13, 2016 20:05:59 GMT -5
Could we get back to browsing profiles? What men and women are saying about themselves? This is all un -chartered waters that I will find myself wading into.
The other day I was spilling my guts to our youth/singles paster about my marriage, and my teenage sons dating. He very bluntly told me " people meet up on line all the time now, and it can be a really good thing!" So I am anxious to hear the good part!
Like you Helen, I would throw myself out there warts and all, and probably hear crickets chirping. I am always learning!
I still want to know about the dogs?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2016 21:03:17 GMT -5
I have often wondered how women my age would respond to my situation, so here goes. I love animals. I have a poodle, crazy about my dog. I am allergic to dogs, cats, horses. Their hair, dander, and saliva. That is why I have only a poodle. I can tolerate the fact they have little saliva, and barely shed. Medication only works so well, and makes you drowsy. I would have a difficult time being at your place for any length of time. Then their is thoughts of the future. How would you feel about that? Well, I have a friend whose husband is allergic to most dogs. They thought they would end up getting a poodle for that reason. Then they found he was not allergic to a friend's collie. And later they found he is not allergic to greyhounds. So it is possible that you may be able to tolerate dogs other than poodles. In the case that poodles are the only option, that would be tough. For me whether a long term relationship is practical would depend on what kind of compromise is possible. I don't think it's possible to say for sure without being in the situation and trying it out to see how it works. God willing, my dogs will live another decade and I wouldn't be willing to rehome them, which would mean it would take lots of patience for lots of years from an allergic man and from me to make a realtionship work. When I didn't have my own non-poodles I would be willing to live with poodles only for the right man. Until then it would mean not spending more than 2 hours at a time together most days and not cohabitating. Money for fancy air filters and dog sitters etc could ease the time constraints somewhat by allowing more time either comfortably with or away from the dogs (while still making sure they're well cared for and happy) but I'm not likely to have said money anytime soon.. |
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Post by baza on Jun 13, 2016 21:08:06 GMT -5
What I know about the subject you could write on the back of a stamp, but I'll offer this observation.
In the old "personal" columns of the newspapers (the dating sites of their time) I reckon that if you told the truth, you'd likely be the only one who was.
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But really, I can't see how the odds of a worthwhile hook up via a dating site would be any worse (or better) than going down to the saloon bar of the Terminus Hotel (a famous venue in my jurisdiction) and having a few brews whilst talking to people.
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Sister Fiery posted a chart a week or so back.
It plotted the possible paths that might lead to meeting a reasonable match that might have the legs to become a life partner situation.
It also plotted the dead ends that are NOT going to lead anywhere.
It's well worth a look.
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Personally, if I were single, I don't think I could be arsed trying the "personal columns" strategy, or the "internet dating" strategy, or for that matter the "joining a theatre group" strategy, or the "joining the local walking group" strategy.
I might have the odd crack at the "Terminus Hotel" strategy, but I sure wouldn't have any great expectations of picking up, let alone it going anywhere.
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Anyway, that point is moot.
I inadvertently ended up in the relationship of my life accidently when I wasn't even looking for it.
And that emerged out of nowhere. On the EP ILIASM group of all places.
Pure blind luck.
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But fwiw, I can think of many good things in life that came my way when I wasn't looking for them.
Your mileage may vary.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2016 21:18:23 GMT -5
It's funny but that profile didn't sound particularly unattractive to me. It has a sense of humour, says something about who you are and says you are a caring person who likes to hang out at home a lot. And you have the same weight issues as 75% of people your age. So I am curious - what do you think a much more attractive dating profile would read like? I'm assuming the most generally attractive dating profile would mention 1) sports and/or outdoorsy activities of some kind 2) include only being slender or fit (not even a BMI on the larger end of normal but on the smaller end) 3) something indicating extroversion. |
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Post by unmatched on Jun 13, 2016 21:43:19 GMT -5
I would imagine it depends on what you are looking for. The 'joy' of internet dating is the nearly bottomless pit of people you can dredge through to find the ones you want. So (speaking with zero experience whatsoever) it might be that the best thing you can do is filter strongly at the beginning to save yourself a lot of pain. Nearly half the world are introverts, 70% of adults are apparently overweight, and everyone knows that indoor sports are more fun  . So being upfront might cut out a whole bunch of people who don't want you (and you probably wouldn't fit well with anyway), but then attract a different bunch of people who are just like you. That seems like a much better option than pretending to be a party-going cross-fit fanatic and then attracting people who want to spend their lives in clubs and gyms. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2016 21:53:18 GMT -5
@helentishappy, your profile would be at the top of my list if you posted it - seriously. First, you have racing dogs. I would ask you all about your dogs, did they race, and do they chase cats. I live in a town with two dog tracks, so greyhound rescue dogs are common here. I love their large eyes and temperament, but I have a cat. I've always been told greyhounds and cats don't mix. But as you can see, the dogs got me off the subject. But given the choice between a dog and naked woman, I take the dog (not for sex!). Second, there is not one cliche or euphemism in your profile. You don't mention "walks on the beach," "Rubenesque," or anything like that. It's honest and funny. It tells who you are and what a man is getting. Third, you are not putting a lot of limitations on the men in terms of race, height, weight, age, and personal habits. I can understand women want a man who matches them, but there are some personal ads that are unrealistic in their limitations. There are only so many white men between the ages of 25-40 who are not overweight, taller than 6 feet, have money, and are free of bad habits. Some come out as downright bitchy before we meet, I can imagine what fun you would be after we meet. But what I like most of all is that you are wise enough not to date right now. You are taking the time to get your life in order and getting yourself in emotional shape first. That is huge! I sometimes wish I could be like that, but as a male I sometimes think with the wrong head. Way to go girl! BTW, send me pics - of your dogs! They did race. Some greyhounds live happily with cats, some chase cats, it's highly variable depending on the individual dog. Personally if I had a cat I would want to adopt a greyhound which had been in a foster home with cats to ensure I was getting a cat-friendly hound. I don't have cats, but my good friend who invites me and my dogs over frequently has both cats and greyhounds, and it turns out my greyhounds are safe with cats (the greyhounds were muzzled (basket muzzles) and leashed every time we visited until they have demonstrated to the experienced cat and greyhound owners' satisfaction they had no intention of hurting a cat). Check messages in a few minutes for pictures. As far as what I'm looking for in a man, I can be attracted to a wide variety of characteristics if personalities mesh and chemistry is there. And as for waiting instead of rushing into things, I'm not that disciplined, I've just learned from painful experience what isn't working. |
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. So being upfront might cut out a whole bunch of people who don't want you (and you probably wouldn't fit well with anyway), but then attract a different bunch of people who are just like you. That seems like a much better option than pretending to be a party-going cross-fit fanatic and then attracting people who want to spend their lives in clubs and gyms.
