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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 25, 2023 16:28:12 GMT -5
UPDATE:.... I posted above about a long distance connection I seem to have made on Our Time. We have corresponded quite a bit over the last week with the person going to great lenghts to state what they would bring to a relati0nship with me. Sounded really good. the last couple days they really upeed their game "love bombing" me. Today they contacted me asking for several thousand dollars to be able to complete a business deal. I knew this was too good to ne true. Of coarse i turned them down on the money. I don't eexpect to hear from them again about what great partmers we would make. So I think maybe it's back to doing my shopping for both food and romance in thr grocery store. I had a similiar experience years ago . It was shortly after my divorce was final and I went on Tinder. I posted about it on here. I was sticking my toe in the waters and learning! I did learn some interesting things from it, how about you worksforme2? What did you take away from it? Did you find it intriguing how easily you where lead into the "sounded really good part" Could you use them as things you would....really like about a potential mate in the future? Would you be afraid to say them and be forward in asking for them? ( these where things I learned) Could I reverse them and offer the same things for a woman ? Not to love bomb a woman, but...if they are things that I know I can genuinely offer and provide, why not do just that? When the opportunity presents itself? Yea... it got me to thinking about " the dating game vrs. reality" and does it have to be a game? or can it be genuine, and long lasting? I think so! Especially if you leave out the $$$ aspect of it.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 25, 2023 18:03:20 GMT -5
greatcoastal,.....I have been pretty straight forward in describing myself and what I think I bring to a relatinship. I dn't lie about my height, education or physical traits, or exjagerate about life experiences. And I pretty straight up about what I am looking for in a woman. Maybe that is my problem. I am too honest.
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Post by deadzone75 on Jul 25, 2023 21:38:00 GMT -5
Dating sites are a bag of bricks. Some of the most authentic people I've met online (or anywhere), I've met right here.
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Post by mirrororchid on Jul 26, 2023 12:33:49 GMT -5
I've said before, I messaged six women on OKcupid. Got two replies, and two dates. One proposition for FWB. Then wife reset.
The polyamorous women may be more fertile hunting ground? I only messaged married women.
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Jul 26, 2023 14:10:23 GMT -5
Be careful. Its a war zone out there. And I suspect lots of syndicates preying on vulnerable people. Their patterns are pretty obvious. Its lile they use the same manual or something. UPDATE:.... I posted above about a long distance connection I seem to have made on Our Time. We have corresponded quite a bit over the last week with the person going to great lenghts to state what they would bring to a relationship with me. Sounded really good. the last couple days they really uped their game "love bombing" me. Today they contacted me asking for several thousand dollars to be able to complete a business deal. I knew this was too good to be true. Of coarse i turned them down on the money. I don't expect to hear from them again about what great partmers we would make. Our time is slowly turning into a "bad time" for me. So I think maybe it's back to doing my shopping for both food and romance in thr grocery store.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 28, 2023 6:32:40 GMT -5
Be careful. Its a war zone out there. And I suspect lots of syndicates preying on vulnerable people. Their patterns are pretty obvious. Its lile they use the same manual or something. Good advice,...Lately I have been recieving a fair number of "likes" from women that are states away from me. I don't take them seriously, since it seems a majority of the women in my age demographic are asexual following menopause. The "likes" are just platonic flirts with the goal (I think) of recieving a "like" in responce. This is to validate their attractiveness. As Apocryphia postulated yrs. ago, they have no real interest in committing to a relationship.
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Post by northstarmom on Jul 28, 2023 11:16:33 GMT -5
"Jul 25, 2023 at 1:00pm worksforme2 said: UPDATE:.... I posted above about a long distance connection I seem to have made on Our Time. We have corresponded quite a bit over the last week with the person going to great lenghts to state what they would bring to a relationship with me. Sounded really good. the last couple days they really uped their game "love bombing" me."
The love bombing was a big red flag. I'm not surprised that they asked for money shortly after.
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Post by worksforme2 on Aug 2, 2023 17:40:34 GMT -5
I've said before, I messaged six women on OKcupid. Got two replies, and two dates. One proposition for FWB. Then wife reset. The polyamorous women may be more fertile hunting ground? I only messaged married women. I have been trying to do some research on polyamourus groups here in NC. So far i have had no luck. And given my age I am unwilling to join any more dating sites on the outside chance of success. I recently found a site that suppposedly listed every polyamourus group state by state. The groups were listed alphabetically for each state. When I got to NC guess how many groups were listed? .....Exactly zero.
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Post by toughtiger on Aug 22, 2023 19:12:39 GMT -5
I think the groups who are poly or whatever do not really advertise just like a secret club you have to find someone to let you in to even look around. lol My son is in a throuple at the moment and slowly others of like situations seem to come out of the woodwork .. like if you buy a red car then all of a sudden you see more red cars....
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Post by mirrororchid on Aug 24, 2023 20:31:36 GMT -5
toughtiger may be right A small town in NC, it would be unsurprising if it was mostly underground. You can lose friends, family, and jobs over such non-traditional behavior. Poly folk are suspected of being on-the-hunt and associating with them endangers your own relationship, but much of the conversation on polyamory podcasts speaks of devotion to ethical behavior including not messing with monogamous partners.
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Post by TMD on Aug 24, 2023 21:43:25 GMT -5
Ethical non-monogamy (polyamory) is an option. I appreciate the candid, honest approach. I met a guy at a sex club about 2 years ago. And his wife. I can be a bit naive. They were with another guy, a, “friend,” whom I later learned was the wife’s lover. By that point, the attraction btwn me and the husband was off the charts. When I was leaving the club, he came to the door with me where we made out. He did invite me to the sex room, but I wasn’t there for that on that evening.
We had a short dalliance. Again, the honesty and respect was high. Compatible sexually. But I wanted somebody to lean on. Even though he said he could be that person for me, I needed home base in a person, metaphorically. Like what he had with his wife.
The poly podcasts are very informative. Sex clubs seem to cater to a younger age range (at 50, I was on the older side, although I’m told I look younger). Perhaps in a larger city (where I live population is 1 MM), there might be broader options.
Adult friend finder might be an option. But there are a lot of pay for service peeps. As a resource might help you find people who fit your needs.
It’s tough out there in the dating world. Strength and honour to you. :-)
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Post by worksforme2 on Oct 8, 2023 15:28:13 GMT -5
UPDATE: I went off Our Time for a while because I was only getting a few messages and they were from women who were again, far away from me. I'm not interested in a long distance relationship. So last week I went back and get a message from a very attractive woman(supposedly). And her location was only about 20 miles from me. So I respond and a couple messages go back and forth. Then she stops writing for 3 days so I ask her what is going on. She apologises and says she is busy with the kids. Huh? Her profile says her kids live far away, so it must be grandkids I am thinking. The 2 days later she tells me she lives in another state but will be moving to her profile town as soon as her house sells. So i say to her,. tell me when you have relocated and we can go from there. Today her profile disappears. And then I get a messagage from a girl who can't be more than 25. But before I can read the message her profile disappears. Intiution tells me they were both scammers and the site police caught them. Really disappointed in Our Time at this point. I guess I will go do some work in the yard...
2nd UPDATE: This morning I get a message from Our Time site. I am notified that a 3rd person who messaged me has been removed from the site. That makes 3 in the past week. And that is just me. I wonder what % of of posters on that site are scammers. Seems like a lot.
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Post by toughtiger on Oct 9, 2023 12:41:34 GMT -5
UPDATE: I went off Our Time for a while because I was only getting a few messages and they were from women who were again, far away from me. I'm not interested in a long distance relationship. So last week I went back and get a message from a very attractive woman(supposedly). And her location was only about 20 miles from me. So I respond and a couple messages go back and forth. Then she stops writing for 3 days so I ask her what is going on. She apologises and says she is busy with the kids. Huh? Her profile says her kids live far away, so it must be grandkigs I am thinking. The 2 days later she tells me she lives in another state but will be movung to her profile town as soon as her house sells. So i say to her,. tell me when you have relocated and we can go from there. Today her profile disappears. And then I get a messagage from a girl who can't be more than 25. But before I can read the message her profile disappears. Intiution tells me they were both scammers and the site police caught them. Really disappointed in Our Time at this point. I guess i will go do some work in the yard... 2nd UPDATE: This morning I get a message from Our Time site. I am notified that a 3rd person who messaged me has been removed from the site. That makes 3 in the past week. And that is just me. I wonder what % of of posters on that site are scammers. Seems like a lot. I would agree on some sites ....the % is high..... especially when people sign on without real interest or experience in whatever the site is for.... Scammers figure possible marks are on dating sites in full .... like shooting fish in a barrel ... sounds like our time is better at spotting and blocking possible scams I personally never used a site but am often asked to chat on basic sites one where i discuss current events ... i think some feel safer trying to meet someone in that way as opposed to putting themselves up on a dating site.
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diode
Junior Member
Posts: 55
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Post by diode on Oct 9, 2023 18:42:51 GMT -5
Of those who contacted me, virtually all were fake. Of those who responded to a message from me, a significant majority were fake. Of those who responded to me and were real, a majority responded harshly, if not at the outset then within a few exchanges...you get the idea.
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Post by mirrororchid on Oct 10, 2023 19:54:19 GMT -5
Perhaps I'm remiss in mentioning...
The ladies I messaged at OKcupid were those with high compatibility scores and profiles I found interesting. I found it a bonus if they weren't smoking hot. I've done high maintenance before. Hard pass.
Kathy was 60-100 pounds overweight. (I really don't bother guessing anymore.)
I'm curious if diode and worksforme2 get so many bots/scammers because those are the profiles with the phony pictures of hotties? Maybe the scammers don't figure a heavier gal can easily con hundreds or thousands of dollars out of a drooling rube?
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