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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 21, 2023 10:47:44 GMT -5
Back about 8-10 yrs ago I posted my experience on Plenty of Fish about only getting interest in me from women who live far from me, often hundreds of miles. While at the same time recieving no interest from the females who lived much closer. I couldn't understand it until Apocrypha came up with a rational. In either case the women, close or far away, were insuring there would be little or no likelyhood of actually having to enter into a relatonship. It made sense. Now 8-10 yrs later I find exactly the same thing occuring on the Our Time site. Women within 20-30 miles have no interest it seems and at the same time I get lots of likes and messages from women who are again many miles away, often hundres of miles. The twist on the women on Our Time that are far away is that, they often state they are willing to relocate. Interesting considering we have not even engaged in a real ( albeit electronic) conversation. Now the women on Our Time seem to be a higher quality of female, but thay share this same characteristic with their poorer sisters at POF. They don't show much interest unless they are far, far away.
The pros are becoming more attractive every day.
And I am thinking I might do some exploring on the possibility of finding a polyamourous group(s) that are half way close to me, within 50 miles let's say. Probaly not much interest in a 74 yr. old, but all I need is one group or couple, or one woman asking me in.
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Post by jim44444 on Jul 21, 2023 16:03:30 GMT -5
Many people on dating sites will misstate their location in an effort to deter stalkers. It could be that the women expressing an interest are closer then what their profile implies.
Why not just go with the flow and see if they are closer.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 22, 2023 15:52:31 GMT -5
Many people on dating sites will misstate their location in an effort to deter stalkers. It could be that the women expressing an interest are closer then what their profile implies. Why not just go with the flow and see if they are closer. I first though you were way off base with this line of thought. Then today I got a message from a woman showing her residing in a large city in mid-state NY. But she was attractive so I answered and we began talking. Turns out she is much closer than NY. Not very close but perhaps 500 miles closer that NY. Admitterly this never occured to me.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 22, 2023 20:48:31 GMT -5
Many people on dating sites will misstate their location in an effort to deter stalkers. It could be that the women expressing an interest are closer then what their profile implies. Why not just go with the flow and see if they are closer. If this is the case I would think it would backfire tremendously. My knowledge of what other women have posted, is that the say they only want to hear from men in a 10 mile radius (for example) and get flooded with matches from men within a 500 mile radius. Now they want a refund and don't trust these dating sites.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 22, 2023 21:23:15 GMT -5
If this is the case I would think it would backfire tremendously. My knowledge of what other women have posted, is that the say they only want to hear from men in a 10 mile radius (for example) and get flooded with matches from men within a 500 mile radius. Now they want a refund and don't trust these dating sites. What you are saying about women wanting a partner to be in close proxemity makes sense, but my experience shows me it's not the case. I have spent time on a # of dating sites and my experience has been that the exact opposite is true. Women do not want a man within throwing distance. The only women who have expressed interest in me have all been far away, if their location profiles are true.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 23, 2023 7:09:26 GMT -5
If this is the case I would think it would backfire tremendously. My knowledge of what other women have posted, is that the say they only want to hear from men in a 10 mile radius (for example) and get flooded with matches from men within a 500 mile radius. Now they want a refund and don't trust these dating sites. What you are saying about women wanting a partner to be in close proximity makes sense, but my experience shows me it's not the case. I have spent time on a # of dating sites and my experience has been that the exact opposite is true. Women do not want a man within throwing distance. The only women who have expressed interest in me have all been far away, if their location profiles are true. If you google reviews about Bumble and Match you will find many complaints about the proximity/radius issue. These are the people who don't stay on dating sites very long, and end up never using them again.. it makes you wonder about the remaining ones? These people (men and women) who leave dating sites quickly end up joining groups and activities to find a date/partner close to where they live. The person looking for a long distance relationship is content with a built in barrier. ( not every case-but most) A barrier that keeps them from committing.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 23, 2023 11:14:29 GMT -5
If you google reviews about Bumble and Match you will find many complaints about the proximity/radius issue. These are the people who don't stay on dating sites very long, and end up never using them again.. it makes you wonder about the remaining ones? These people (men and women) who leave dating sites quickly end up joining groups and activities to find a date/partner close to where they live. The person looking for a long distance relationship is content with a built in barrier. ( not every case-but most) A barrier that keeps them from committing. I was on Match for about 3 months. It reminded me a lot of POF. The females were not especially attractive, they were seldom active and the couple of women who initially seemed to show some interest quickly disappeared. On a scale of 1-5 I think I gave Match a 1. POF was the worst site , with Match a close second.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 23, 2023 20:46:49 GMT -5
If you google reviews about Bumble and Match you will find many complaints about the proximity/radius issue. These are the people who don't stay on dating sites very long, and end up never using them again.. it makes you wonder about the remaining ones? These people (men and women) who leave dating sites quickly end up joining groups and activities to find a date/partner close to where they live. The person looking for a long distance relationship is content with a built in barrier. ( not every case-but most) A barrier that keeps them from committing. I was on Match for about 3 months. It reminded me a lot of POF. The females were not especially attractive, they were seldom active and the couple of women who initially seemed to show some interest quickly disappeared. On a scale of 1-5 I think I gave Match a 1. POF was the worst site , with Match a close second. Another thing that can happen on Match is getting your location moved. In my line of work I travel daily, sometimes across the state. While I was 150 miles across the state i would check to read any new messages. Automatically the Match dating service would "relocate " me. For the next few days I would start getting 'matches' from women 150 miles away, from the other side of the state! It would then take numerous phone calls and lots of complications to straighten out my correct location again. Their where two or three occasions where I would get matched with a woman who was visiting my area. Remember i live on the beach in central Florida. They lived in Georgia or South Carolina and where visiting friends or family, looking for attention and an ego boost to get noticed, with the built in barrier of distance things ended up going no where, with a " if your ever in the area again, for an extended period of time lets get together"
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 24, 2023 6:59:14 GMT -5
greatcoastal,...I think we can agree that generally speaking Match s**ks. I even tried the hookup, sex section at the site. (I was really getting desperate). No one over age 35 seen. And once again, far away and mostly in large cities.
EDIT: One more thing...it is nearly impossible to unsubscribe from Match. I bet i have filled out the unsubscribe option 15 times over the last month. And just this morning I get another email from the site.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 24, 2023 10:09:35 GMT -5
My Debit card was cancelled and I haven't sent them any new information. That's working for me. But, yes dating sites can give you false hope. Just the fact that they're still in business and the 1% of their clients who end up married or in a long term relationship speaks for itself.
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Post by mirrororchid on Jul 24, 2023 11:16:13 GMT -5
If this is the case I would think it would backfire tremendously. My knowledge of what other women have posted, is that the say they only want to hear from men in a 10 mile radius (for example) and get flooded with matches from men within a 500 mile radius. Now they want a refund and don't trust these dating sites. What you are saying about women wanting a partner to be in close proxemity makes sense, but my experience shows me it's not the case. I have spent time on a # of dating sites and my experience has been that the exact opposite is true. Women do not want a man within throwing distance. The only women who have expressed interest in me have all been far away, if their location profiles are true. I said I lived 51 miles away from where I actually did to avoid coming up in search results of a polyamorous friend of Mrs. MirrorOrchid. It might be some of these ladies are doing the same thing. Pretend to be far away so neighbors don't see you outsourcing/"cheating". FWIW, both matches I had on OKcupid were in range and willing to meet. Both polyamorous married women, if you're up for that.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 24, 2023 13:08:37 GMT -5
I said I lived 51 miles away from where I actually did to avoid coming up in search results of a polyamorous friend of Mrs. MirrorOrchid. It might be some of these ladies are doing the same thing. Pretend to be far away so neighbors don't see you outsourcing/"cheating". FWIW, both matches I had on OKcupid were in range and willing to meet. Both polyamorous married women, if you're up for that. jim 44444 said much the same thing. His thinking was that women are falsely giving locals to avoid potential stalkers. It kind of far out thinking but in todays world it's understandable not taking chances for a woman. And I would not be at all surprised that some of the women on Our time are married so faking their location would make sense. I have started sending "likes" to any woman that catches my eye, no matter the distance. If she lives closer than her profile indicated hopefully she will see somethiong in my profile she likes and answer. I would definitely be up for something polyamourous if I found the couple or group attractive and they me. I started to scout around to see the locations of the closest groups but I have been distracted by other things lately.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 24, 2023 20:42:33 GMT -5
The twist on the women on Our Time that are far away is that, they often state they are willing to relocate. Interesting considering we have not even engaged in a real ( albeit electronic) conversation. Now the women on Our Time seem to be a higher quality of female, but thay share this same characteristic with their poorer sisters at POF. They don't show much interest unless they are far, far away. I've had no experience with a woman who lived far away and is willing to relocate, so I'm just guessing. My guesses would be 1) They're not real. 2) They're looking for a sugar daddy (someone they can 'relocate with' ie: come live on your private yacht, stay at your beachside house, travel with you, while you provide all the $$$ and get sex in return? 3) Could this be someone who needs 'zip code therapy'? How much 'getting to know you would it take before they are full blown ready to "relocate". 4) what does 'relocate' actually mean? See you on Weekends? Come stay for a week? One week on, one week off? 5) There's always the fear of a scam- someone ( men and women) who wants to get all your personal info. and take your money,destroying your credit. I did meet a woman on match, we went out on three dates, short version- She was too forward for me. The way she dressed, her constant touching on the first date, and by the third date came her glamorizing/expressing thoughts of moving into my house! Her giving me conversations about my fenced in yard and her dogs having a place to stay. her doing away with her unwanted room mate, her not paying rent anymore, her living beachside instead of mainland, my place being fully furnished, trips we could go on ( trips I could take her on) etc... Quickly the "I like you as a person and have a strong physical attraction for you" was replaced with "materialism".
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Post by deadzone75 on Jul 25, 2023 10:35:34 GMT -5
You know, things were easier back in the '96 days of AOL chat. You found a lobby out of the gazillion choices and did your thing.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 25, 2023 14:00:42 GMT -5
UPDATE:.... I posted above about a long distance connection I seem to have made on Our Time. We have corresponded quite a bit over the last week with the person going to great lenghts to state what they would bring to a relationship with me. Sounded really good. the last couple days they really uped their game "love bombing" me. Today they contacted me asking for several thousand dollars to be able to complete a business deal. I knew this was too good to be true. Of coarse i turned them down on the money. I don't expect to hear from them again about what great partmers we would make. Our time is slowly turning into a "bad time" for me. So I think maybe it's back to doing my shopping for both food and romance in thr grocery store.
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