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Post by mirrororchid on Sept 13, 2023 5:39:41 GMT -5
OK cool.
Caveat to anyone who might go the "munch" route. Mostly, poly people are huge on infidelity being "consensual".
Not good enough to be aware. The spouse needs to approve.
Refusing is not seen as a reason to have additional lovers. (Actually only getting one at first. You have none in an SM). They prefer you divorce than outsource due to refusal. It smudges their pristine white rainbow unicorns.
It's more a way to test waters. You may want to refuse any overtures at first to avoid the sticky subject of "informed non-monogamy".
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Post by sweetplumeria on Sept 13, 2023 9:15:33 GMT -5
OK cool. Caveat to anyone who might go the "munch" route. Mostly, poly people are huge on infidelity being "consensual". Not good enough to be aware. The spouse needs to approve. Refusing is not seen as a reason to have additional lovers. (Actually only getting one at first. You have none in an SM). They prefer you divorce than outsource due to refusal. It smudges their pristine white rainbow unicorns. It's more a way to test waters. You may want to refuse any overtures at first to avoid the sticky subject of "informed non-monogamy". This might deserve its own post. Quality munch info. We don't have these here where I live but I have heard of them. Also, I met a retired couple and she openly told me they were poly but then went on to explain informed consent and I think the language alone implies we don't want legal trouble from our choices. Anyways, if I hadn't met one myself I would not think oof it like that. Of course when you expect sex in marriage, learning how to get it else where is a big undertaking (with yourself before anyone else). |
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Post by mirrororchid on Nov 7, 2023 20:25:24 GMT -5
... I'll start a new thread for amusing online sex hunting stories. Still waiting. A six month run is so rare, forgive me if I'm keeping an eye on you. |
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Post by Same old, same old on Nov 20, 2023 21:54:41 GMT -5
Has anyone ever gotten an apology for being neglected? I had this weird moment I can't remember whether my husband had been drinking or not but most likely he had been and he apologized or neglecting me. I'm not really sure where he was going with that and quite frankly I'm not interested in trying to rekindle a relationship in my marriage, there's just too many hurt feelings for that. Is this common? Have other spouses apologized for what they know to being neglect even though they chose to do it? It's funny after 10 years I think my husband wants to have sex with me and I am not interested at all. I have never ever gotten an apology for anything! Because, it's never been about me ... it's always about him. I get blamed, yes. I get guilted, yes. I get silence, yes. But I never get an apology. |
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Post by sweetplumeria on Nov 21, 2023 4:39:35 GMT -5
Has anyone ever gotten an apology for being neglected? I had this weird moment I can't remember whether my husband had been drinking or not but most likely he had been and he apologized or neglecting me. I'm not really sure where he was going with that and quite frankly I'm not interested in trying to rekindle a relationship in my marriage, there's just too many hurt feelings for that. Is this common? Have other spouses apologized for what they know to being neglect even though they chose to do it? It's funny after 10 years I think my husband wants to have sex with me and I am not interested at all. I have never ever gotten an apology for anything! Because, it's never been about me ... it's always about him. I get blamed, yes. I get guilted, yes. I get silence, yes. But I never get an apology. Oh I have gotten all those things too. I think the current situation is that he wants to have sex and now he's trying to figure out how to do that. Maybe he's afraid of getting old and that's just a way for him to feel like he's still has vitality I couldn't venture to guess. Tonight he was looking down at my boobs in my shirt I was getting ready for bed and I didn't have a bra on and then I found myself trying to hide myself because I didn't like him looking at me. To fill you in we have not had sex since 2012 or 2010 it's been so long I don't remember... but simply put, everything is about him even when it's about me it's still his feelings that have importance. Super frustrating until you enjoy it's predictable nature. |
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Post by aquacat on Nov 23, 2023 6:50:35 GMT -5
I have never ever gotten an apology for anything! Because, it's never been about me ... it's always about him. I get blamed, yes. I get guilted, yes. I get silence, yes. But I never get an apology. Oh I have gotten all those things too. I think the current situation is that he wants to have sex and now he's trying to figure out how to do that. Maybe he's afraid of getting old and that's just a way for him to feel like he's still has vitality I couldn't venture to guess. Tonight he was looking down at my boobs in my shirt I was getting ready for bed and I didn't have a bra on and then I found myself trying to hide myself because I didn't like him looking at me. To fill you in we have not had sex since 2012 or 2010 it's been so long I don't remember... but simply put, everything is about him even when it's about me it's still his feelings that have importance. Super frustrating until you enjoy its predictable nature. I am so sorry that you’re in this situation too. My wife could take it or leave it when it comes to sex as she’s indifferent. Every now and then when I’m getting ready to take a shower and I’m undressing she will reach out and try to pinch my butt and say a dirty thing when she does it. I’ve gotten to where it drives me nuts and irritates me when she does it because she 99% rejects my advances when I try to initiate. You are way too young to have had to deal with this for the last 10+ years and I can guarantee you that there are guys around your age that would not do this if they were your partner. I sometimes regret marrying who I did because we are so incompatible when it comes to sex. |
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Post by blunder8 on Nov 28, 2023 8:32:56 GMT -5
Still waiting. A six month run is so rare, forgive me if I'm keeping an eye on you. Ha. Which topic forum? |
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Post by mirrororchid on Nov 28, 2023 18:15:37 GMT -5
The quote mechanism made it look like I was the one offering hunting tips.
It was you who had said "No, I'm not looking to outsource, at least in an online quest. Odds are stacked against late 50s men on such sites. If a woman I found attractive in a real life situation lit a spark between us I would have little resolve (or reason) to say no. I realize that's not a strategy; just me playing out in my head a scenario. I've lived with this shit for decades. I can do it some more.
I'll start a new thread for amusing online sex hunting stories."
I'd put it in Post SM, if it were me.
That's when most people hunt.
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