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Post by worksforme2 on May 27, 2023 9:26:01 GMT -5
I have spent the last 3-4 months on a # of dating sites. I have been very disappointed thus far. As i sit here typing I am weighting which of the sites is probably the worst, or most worthless from my perspective. It's really hard to decide as they all have missed the mark by a considerable margin. It's probably a combination of things that make the sites less than helpful for me.
1st is probably my location. I live in a rural county. Until a decade ago there were more cows than people. And it is a fair piece to the closest large city. The idea of having to drive 50 or more miles for a date puts me in a bad mood before I even get there. And I have yet to see a single woman in my age demographi close to where I live.
2nd is the lack of acceptable prospects. What few women there are in my age demographic are more often than not on the large size. When I do see someone that is height/weight proportional she is almost alwys hundreds of miles away.
I don't know who creates the algorythems for these sites. If I were the accountant at POF, Match, OK Cupid I'd be demanding my money back..On all the sites I am matched up with women that are young enough too be my daughters. Nothing wrong with a younger woman, just not 30-40 yrs younger. So yesterday I found myself pulling up local escorts. Pretty expensive to get my oil changed but getting deep throated or some back door action might be worth the price, once a month or so.
PS....I am just in a funk because the Trimix gets my dick hard as a brick and I have no where to put it.Maybe I should throw away my testosterone and Trimix. Maybe I would not be this frustrated. But I cannot seem to get comfortable with the thought that I will never F*uck another woman.
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Post by northstarmom on May 27, 2023 9:39:01 GMT -5
If you want to get laid, you'll probably need to move of pay. That's what you're learning. There just aren't a lot of eligible women in your area. You're probably getting matched with younger women because that's who's on the sites.
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Post by worksforme2 on May 27, 2023 10:40:25 GMT -5
If you want to get laid, you'll probably need to move of pay. That's what you're learning. There just aren't a lot of eligible women in your area. You're probably getting matched with younger women because that's who's on the sites. That is pretty much the lesson here. I really can't move as I care for my grandchildren 3 sometimes 4 days a week. My moving would put my son in a precarious position. So I may be looking to negiotate a lower price based on repeat business. More research is required. |
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diode
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Post by diode on May 27, 2023 18:04:18 GMT -5
I have spent the last 3-4 months on a # of dating sites. I have been very disappointed thus far. As i sit here typing I am weighting which of the sites is probably the worst, or most worthless from my perspective. It's really hard to decide as they all have missed the mark by a considerable margin. It's probably a combination of things that make the sites less than helpful for me. 1st is probably my location. I live in a rural county. Until a decade ago there were more cows than people. And it is a fair piece to the closest large city. The idea of having to drive 50 or more miles for a date puts me in a bad mood before I even get there. And I have yet to see a single woman in my age demographi close to where I live. 2nd is the lack of acceptable prospects. What few women there are in my age demographic are more often than not on the large size. When I do see someone that is height/weight proportional she is almost alwys hundreds of miles away. I don't know who creates the algorythems for these sites. If I were the accountant at POF, Match, OK Cupid I'd be demanding my money back..On all the sites I am matched up with women that are young enough too be my daughters. Nothing wrong with a younger woman, just not 30-40 yrs younger. So yesterday I found myself pulling up local escorts. Pretty expensive to get my oil changed but getting deep throated or some back door action might be worth the price, once a month or so. PS....I am just in a funk because the Trimix gets my dick hard as a brick and I have no where to put it.Maybe I should throw away my testosterone and Trimix. Maybe I would not be this frustrated. But I cannot seem to get comfortable with the thought that I will never F*uck another woman. I definitely empathize on one of your points. Location was and is a definite problem for me. How one defines acceptable prospects varies widely and is truly a matter of perspective. While I indeed struggled to identify anyone that I liked, it was much more difficult to find someone who liked me in the online world. In other words, I was likely viewed by frustrated women as but one of their dauntingly unacceptable prospects, although for unexpected reasons. The perspective has real implications. Self-esteem seems to be less of an issue for those who view themselves as simply but frustratingly deprived of palatable options. Self-esteem suffers greatly, however, for those who begin to view themselves as among the unpalatable. |
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Post by jim44444 on May 28, 2023 9:02:59 GMT -5
I am curious as to which sites and your perception of their relative value. Have you tried the one promoted by AARP?
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Post by worksforme2 on May 28, 2023 9:10:00 GMT -5
PS....I am just in a funk because the Trimix gets my dick hard as a brick and I have no where to put it.Maybe I should throw away my testosterone and Trimix. Maybe I would not be this frustrated. But I cannot seem to get comfortable with the thought that I will never F*uck another woman. I definitely empathize on one of your points. Location was and is a definite problem for me. How one defines acceptable prospects varies widely and is truly a matter of perspective. While I indeed struggled to identify anyone that I liked, it was much more difficult to find someone who liked me in the online world. In other words, I was likely viewed by frustrated women as but one of their dauntingly unacceptable prospects, although for unexpected reasons. The perspective has real implications. Self-esteem seems to be less of an issue for those who view themselves as simply but frustratingly deprived of palatable options. Self-esteem suffers greatly, however, for those who begin to view themselves as among the unpalatable. It's said that women place less emphasis on looks than men do. I am not at all sure this is true. At least when it comes to a dating site. I strongly suspect that an attractive woman will be looking for an attractive male, and she will have her pick of the available males since men out number women by a large %. Keep in mind that in all probability a signifigant number of the women on dating site are not there to date. They are just looking for afformation that they are still attractive. They get numerous mailings from males daily, so don't feel badly that you don't get a response from a woman when you reach out to her. It's par for the course on dating sites. |
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Post by worksforme2 on May 28, 2023 9:41:36 GMT -5
I am curious as to which sites and your perception of their relative value. Have you tried the one promoted by AARP? Plenty of Fish, maybe the least worst of the 3 sites I tried. Tons of women on there , almost all of them anywhere from 100 to 500 miles away from me. Not that it mattered much as I would estimste the average weight of the women over age 55 to be around 200 lbs. Spent about 30 minutes there this morning. Looked at an average of 15 women / minute, so about 450 women. Exactly 2 would have made he cut. One in Florida and 1 in NC, but again over 100 miles away. On a scale of 1-10, I give it a 2. OK Cupid, fell in the middle as far as female population. But had very few women over age 50 and again none near me. So relative value on a scale of 1-10, about a 2. Match.com. The worst of the 3 sites. There were very few women there. But I was not too surprised as Match is mostly considered a hook up site. There was 1 woman close to my age demographic, but she was in NJ, and she looked pretty rough. All I got from Match was messages that a # of 30 yr old women wanted to flirt with me. I give Match a 1. Probably has potential if a man is below age 50. Zero potental for a man age 74. No I have not seen the site promoted by AARP. Maybe I will have a look one day, but I am pretty bummed out right now. Edit: I just remembered Adult Friend Finder. I wasn't on this site long because the members were mostly 40 and under. That is to be expected as it is a hook up site, or so they say. Probably has some potential for those 40 and under, but at my age it was a waste of time. I give it a 1. |
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diode
Junior Member
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Post by diode on May 28, 2023 13:58:47 GMT -5
I definitely empathize on one of your points. Location was and is a definite problem for me. How one defines acceptable prospects varies widely and is truly a matter of perspective. While I indeed struggled to identify anyone that I liked, it was much more difficult to find someone who liked me in the online world. In other words, I was likely viewed by frustrated women as but one of their dauntingly unacceptable prospects, although for unexpected reasons. The perspective has real implications. Self-esteem seems to be less of an issue for those who view themselves as simply but frustratingly deprived of palatable options. Self-esteem suffers greatly, however, for those who begin to view themselves as among the unpalatable. It's said that women place less emphasis on looks than men do. I am not at all sure this is true. At least when it comes to a dating site. I strongly suspect that an attractive woman will be looking for an attractive male, and she will have her pick of the available males since men out number women by a large %. Keep in mind that in all probability a signifigant number of the women on dating site are not there to date. They are just looking for afformation that they are still attractive. They get numerous mailings from males daily, so don't feel badly that you don't get a response from a woman when you reach out to her. It's par for the course on dating sites. You're correct that I felt badly for a while, but it was not the non-responses that were my big concern; it was the responses. Holy moly, I triggered some serious hate mail! |
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diode
Junior Member
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Post by diode on May 28, 2023 14:08:59 GMT -5
I am curious as to which sites and your perception of their relative value. Have you tried the one promoted by AARP? Plenty of Fish, maybe the least worst of the 3 sites I tried. Tons of women on there , almost all of them anywhere from 100 to 500 miles away from me. Not that it mattered much as I would estimste the average weight of the women over age 55 to be around 200 lbs. Spent about 30 minutes there this morning. Looked at an average of 15 women / minute, so about 450 women. Exactly 2 would have made he cut. One in Florida and 1 in NC, but again over 100 miles away. On a scale of 1-10, I give it a 2. OK Cupid, fell in the middle as far as female population. But had very few women over age 50 and again none near me. So relative value on a scale of 1-10, about a 2. Match.com. The worst of the 3 sites. There were very few women there. But I was not too surprised as Match is mostly considered a hook up site. There was 1 woman close to my age demographic, but she was in NJ, and she looked pretty rough. All I got from Match was messages that a # of 30 yr old women wanted to flirt with me. I give Match a 1. Probably has potential if a man is below age 50. Zero potental for a man age 74. No I have not seen the site promoted by AARP. Maybe I will have a look one day, but I am pretty bummed out right now. Edit: I just remembered Adult Friend Finder. I wasn't on this site long because the members were mostly 40 and under. That is to be expected as it is a hook up site, or so they say. Probably has some potential for those 40 and under, but at my age it was a waste of time. I give it a 1. Body weight can indeed become an issue that affects many avenues of life for those of most any age bracket. But, socially relevant weight-gain certainly becomes a common theme among the older members of society. Even as maturing persons, however, we somehow still manage to retain the influences of the ideals held in our younger years. That may serve as a clue that we're still alive. Fascinating. |
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Post by mirrororchid on May 29, 2023 10:13:32 GMT -5
Plenty of Fish, maybe the least worst of the 3 sites I tried. Tons of women on there , almost all of them anywhere from 100 to 500 miles away from me. Not that it mattered much as I would estimate the average weight of the women over age 55 to be around 200 lbs. What's the hang-up about weight? I married my wife at size 26. It was never the weight that was the issue. Her clinical depression was the kick in the pants. Also curious, how is your moving going to hurt your son? Apologies if you've already explained. It's a helluva handicap. Can your son move too? You could make the 50 mile trek to visit the grandkids instead of dates. Or maybe you see them a lot and that isn't practical. What if you could plan an overnight road trip with four dates in the same area planned? A lot less driving invested, spread teh effort to teh prospects. You can even throw in a heftier lady just to test the waters. One of my dating tactics was to start with the heavier ladies to hone my skills for the tougher targets. I had every intention of liking any of them and liked both that I met. One liked me back, but then the wife reset. What might you be able to do to widen your impression of beauty? You stand to save $600 per month if you can manage it. |
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Post by worksforme2 on May 29, 2023 13:46:58 GMT -5
Plenty of Fish, maybe the least worst of the 3 sites I tried. Tons of women on there , almost all of them anywhere from 100 to 500 miles away from me. Not that it mattered much as I would estimate the average weight of the women over age 55 to be around 200 lbs. What's the hang-up about weight? I married my wife at size 26. It was never the weight that was the issue. Her clinical depression was the kick in the pants. Also curious, how is your moving going to hurt your son? Apologies if you've already explained. It's a helluva handicap. Can your son move too? You could make the 50 mile trek to visit the grandkids instead of dates. Or maybe you see them a lot and that isn't practical. What if you could plan an overnight road trip with four dates in the same area planned? A lot less driving invested, spread teh effort to teh prospects. You can even throw in a heftier lady just to test the waters. One of my dating tactics was to start with the heavier ladies to hone my skills for the tougher targets. I had every intention of liking any of them and liked both that I met. One liked me back, but then the wife reset. What might you be able to do to widen your impression of beauty? You stand to save $600 per month if you can manage it. My preference for a woman to be height/weight proportional is just that,...my preference. I wouldn't mind a pleasantly plump woman but that isn't what I am seeing most of the time. I have known a # of males who prefered heaver partners. Each to his own is my motto. I have ( somewhat to my schagrin) woken up from a drunken stupor and found myself in bed with a large woman. But those days are behind me I hope. I did state that I cared for my grandchildren after school 3-4 days a week. My son just moved into a new house( along with a whopping morgage) around Christmas. Realtors fees in selling and also purchaseing another home would be pretty heafty And the other grandparents care for the kids when I don't so he would be losing the support system he currently enjoys. So I am sure he would not be interested in moving. The various scenerios you put forth all seem geared toward one night stands or multiple partners. I am not really a fan of either. And my experience is most women will not abide another woman in the bed with her lover. Some perhaps, but most would show me the door I expect, as soon as they figured out what was going on. And the more partners one has the greater the possibility of encountering a STD. Doing business with an escort might put me at equal risk for this, but using a condom or just receiving deep throat might lower the odds there. Perhaps I am trying to have my cake and eat it too, time will tell. |
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Post by mirrororchid on May 30, 2023 5:49:15 GMT -5
You surely did say state the thrice-4x weekly! Flaked completely. My goodness! I figured you were of an age pre-Aquarius that might even default to the idea of "going steady" before "doing it". Dating four women in one weekend should not raise an eyebrow except among rather possessive women with neuroses. Exclusivity from the very first date is a very uncommon expectation from either sex. If you don't sleep with any of them, I'm not sure any complaints should be entertained. In these modern times, supposedly, a third date is the 'sink or swim' event. This is the point at which you'd explain your ethical non-monogamy philosophy or suggest exclusivity so some physical intimacy could be introduced if the mood struck. The whole idea of multiple prospects/suitors was not even unseemly. Even less so today. Unless expressly stated, assuming exclusivity is the fault of the presuming party. After such discovery, exclusivity could surely be suggested or expression of regret that while the waters were still being tested, they were not promising enough to grant exclusivity and they could part as friends if that would be preferred. At the risk of patronizing, using protection isn't a bad idea even if you do zero in on one lady. Pick the wrong one and it would have been safer to sleep with the other three. Counterintuitively, statistical analysis has found that deliberate polyamorists have low incidence of VD because they are more aware of risks and typically more cautious. Optimally, you'll each want a clean bill of health from a lab. That conversation is a challenge many cannot overcome. |
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Post by worksforme2 on May 30, 2023 7:31:27 GMT -5
You surely did say state the thrice-4x weekly! Flaked completely. My goodness! I figured you were of an age pre-Aquarius that might even default to the idea of "going steady" before "doing it". Dating four women in one weekend should not raise an eyebrow except among rather possessive women with neuroses. Exclusivity from the very first date is a very uncommon expectation from either sex. If you don't sleep with any of them, I'm not sure any complaints should be entertained. In these modern times, supposedly, a third date is the 'sink or swim' event. This is the point at which you'd explain your ethical non-monogamy philosophy or suggest exclusivity so some physical intimacy could be introduced if the mood struck. The whole idea of multiple prospects/suitors was not even unseemly. Even less so today. Unless expressly stated, assuming exclusivity is the fault of the presuming party. After such discovery, exclusivity could surely be suggested or expression of regret that while the waters were still being tested, they were not promising enough to grant exclusivity and they could part as friends if that would be preferred. At the risk of patronizing, using protection isn't a bad idea even if you do zero in on one lady. Pick the wrong one and it would have been safer to sleep with the other three. Counterintuitively, statistical analysis has found that deliberate polyamorists have low incidence of VD because they are more aware of risks and typically more cautious. Optimally, you'll each want a clean bill of health from a lab. That conversation is a challenge many cannot overcome. . I don't get the bit about flaked completely. Just my experience based on the 2 resent times I have been in the dating pool. Every woman (without exception) wanted excluivity from the get go. Even at the 1st coffee meet when it was brought up they all wanted no others in the mix. Maybe it is a sign of the times or maybe it's now part of the female psychy to be possessive so early in the game. I agree around 3 dates is usually the timeframe for a woman to surrender her virtue. And following "doing the deed" exclusiveity seems to be written into the relationship. |
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Post by worksforme2 on May 30, 2023 19:05:59 GMT -5
I am curious as to which sites and your perception of their relative value. Have you tried the one promoted by AARP? Not too busy today so i tried to have alook at the AARP dating site. I found a # of referances to the site and some other info date 2014. But try as I might I could not find anhything that would enable to to actually go on the site. I give this one a zero. |
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Post by jim44444 on May 30, 2023 20:39:17 GMT -5
I am curious as to which sites and your perception of their relative value. Have you tried the one promoted by AARP? Not too busy today so i tried to have alook at the AARP dating site. I found a # of referances to the site and some other info date 2014. But try as I might I could not find anhything that would enable to to actually go on the site. I give this one a zero. I did some digging and it was Ourtime. It appears that AARP no longer has an affiliation with them. |
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