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Post by northstarmom on Apr 17, 2023 21:30:03 GMT -5
Don't feel bad, heelots. Post SM lover says that when he was in his 40s, he asked a woman to marry him who at best only wanted to have sex once a month. He had a sky high libido but never thought of the implications of being with someone who wasn't that interested in sex. He said he loved her looks and New Zealand accent. And, I think he wanted to marry and have kids. She ended up cheating on him, so they didn't marry. Now she dates someone who's conveniently a continent away.
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Post by frednsa on Apr 27, 2023 11:28:10 GMT -5
BIG question; do you LOVE her or just her ability to provide sex ? IF you DO, learn to cope and encourage her to participate to the best of her ability. IF she LOVES you, she will. If NOT, leave. I was in your circumstance 40 years ago .....EXACTLY. Realized I deeply loved her and every single thing about her with the exception of her asexual nature. She loved me as much and we compromise. NO REGRETS !!!
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Post by heelots on Apr 28, 2023 14:53:26 GMT -5
When I treated my refuser as a roommate, including moving out of the bedroom, he never reacted. It ended up that he wanted to end the marriage but was too cowardly to tell me. When I finally said I wanted a divorce, he immediately agreed. If I were to suggest divorce, I think my roommate would jump at the opportunity in the blink of an eye. I think the only thing that has prevented our divorcing is my roommate wants me to file for some weird reason that only she knows. I told her a while back when we were in the midst of a heated argument that if she wanted to divorce me to go ahead and file.
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 29, 2023 8:45:23 GMT -5
BIG question; do you LOVE her or just her ability to provide sex ? IF you DO, learn to cope and encourage her to participate to the best of her ability. IF she LOVES you, she will. If NOT, leave. I was in your circumstance 40 years ago .....EXACTLY. Realized I deeply loved her and every single thing about her with the exception of her asexual nature. She loved me as much and we compromise. NO REGRETS !!! I went back to read your initial posts. This is quite a dramatic change from your origional feelings. What does the compromise consist of, that you are now willing to accept what was before not acceptable for you? Or was her part of the compromise a dramatic shift from her previous actions/inactions?
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