Who's Who and Where?

mirrororchid
Senior Member

Formerly sexless. SM in remission, Nov. 2019

Posts: 1,746

Age Range: 56-60

Who's Who and Where? Mar 15, 2023 4:26:32 GMT -5 angeleyes65 likes this

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Post by mirrororchid on Mar 15, 2023 4:26:32 GMT -5

Having a rough time remembering what everyone's deal is?

Me too.

Every so often I'm about to ask a question that I suspect has already been answered. This would be the place to keep and find details.
If you see your name, I won't mind filling is a blank. "Mood, for example. I'm not putting words in mouths there)
If you don't mind someone else updating your record, say so and folks can comment and rat you out.
Any deets you'd like removed? Done! Location will start very generally, to avoid "outing" anyone

Member	Marital Status	SM Status	Disposition/Mood	Summary	Location (volunteered)
mirrororchid	Married	In Remission	Content	Married 26 years, 2015(?)-2019 sexless, followed by current 3+ year reset. In Remission - 12/2019	US, Washington DC
Shamwow		Escaped		Partnered to BallOfConfusion
BallOfConfusion		Escaped		Partnered to Shamwow
Apocrypha		Escaped
SweetPlumeria
heelots	Married	Sexless		"... mentally began thinking of my wife as a roommate and nothing more ...Sleeping separately ...won't cheat on her nor leave ..."
angeleyes65	Married	Escaped		"I escaped my marriage in 2017, 34 years married, 12 years totally sexless. Now I'm in a live in relationship with a man who is also out of a sexless marriage."	US, St. Louis
IronHamster
northstarmom	Partnered	Escaped		"Escaped after being married 34 years, the last 8 of which were completely sexless. Now have been 10 years with a wonderful partner who loves sex and loves me the way I want to be loved. I didn't find the precursor to ILIASM until a week after my divorce."
AngelWanderer					Australia
GreatCoastal	On the hunt	Escaped
Handy	n/a	Departed	R.I.P.	Married until passing away.
misssunnybunny	Partnered		Happy😁	"Escaped 10 years ago from marriage that was sexless for 16 years. Currently in a relationship."	US, Boston
worksforme2	On the hunt	Escaped		Escaped about 7-8 yrs ago Married for 5yrs. Sexless -3yrs. Sort of in between partners at the moment
petrushka	Married	Sexless		"...Married 23 years, 20 of them sexless. The relationship is very affectionately platonic. Not going to repeat the entirely history. 14 years ago I called her on the passive aggressive hell my life had become, and she mended her ways. Definitely did. When your significant other comes in the door after a day away and their face lights up when they see you, it's clear that there is some "I want you" involved"...	Whangarei, New Zealand.
lanie	Married	In Remission		In remission - 01/2022 - iliasm.org/thread/5986/staying
deadzone75
njsojourner
TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo
jim44444
holdfast	Married	Sexless		iliasm.org/post/145126/thread: Married 33 years, 8 sexless.
catlover	Married	Sexless		"...Wife is very ill, but devoid of any physical affection. When called on it she denies it...accused of "always being controlling", and "everything has to be YOUR way"....	Canada, Hagersville, Ontario
muzack	Married	Sexless	Reasonably Happy	"Married 22 years. sexless for most. Wife is working on her anxiety, body image, and control issues that are the primary cause of the senselessness.	Central Virginia, USA
Jerri
h	Married	Sexless	Hopeful	Still married for at least (but probably not much more than) another year. Married almost 15 years. Clinically sexless since day one. Current disposition is "hopeful" considering that I see a light at the end of the tunnel where before there was no light.	Upstate NY, US
blunder8	Married	In Remission		SM in remission - 01/2023
dallasgia	Married	Sexless	Desperate	Married 26 yrs - but fighting to escape Completely sexless 4 yrs Basically sexless for over a decade.	Texas, US
warmways	Dating	Escaped	Happy	Married 18 years, all sexless. Escaped in 2019. Began dating in 2021 after having to recover	Maine, US

Thanks to everyone who's provided background!

Last Edit: Jul 10, 2023 6:03:17 GMT -5 by mirrororchid

angeleyes65
Senior Member

Posts: 528

Who's Who and Where? Mar 15, 2023 9:43:44 GMT -5 via Tapatalk misssunnybunny, ironhamster, and 1 more like this

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Post by angeleyes65 on Mar 15, 2023 9:43:44 GMT -5

Angeleyes. I escaped my marriage in 2017 34 years married 12 years totally sexless Now I'm in a live in relationship with a man who is also out of a sexless marriage. Live in St Louis suburb

northstarmom
Senior Members

Posts: 4,255

Who's Who and Where? Mar 15, 2023 9:52:04 GMT -5 misssunnybunny, angeleyes65, and 1 more like this

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Post by northstarmom on Mar 15, 2023 9:52:04 GMT -5

Northstarmom: Escaped after being married 34 years, the last 8 of which were completely sexless. Now have been 10 years with a wonderful partner who loves sex and loves me the way I want to be loved. I didn't find the precurser to ILIASM until a week after my divorce.

Last Edit: Mar 15, 2023 9:52:51 GMT -5 by northstarmom

misssunnybunny Senior Members Posts: 1,599 Age Range: 51-55	Who's Who and Where? Mar 15, 2023 11:41:06 GMT -5 angeleyes65 and mirrororchid like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by misssunnybunny on Mar 15, 2023 11:41:06 GMT -5 misssunnybunny. Escaped 10 years ago from marriage that was sexless for 16 years. Currently in a relationship. Happy😁. Greater Boston area
	We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one.

petrushka
Senior Members

Forum Supporter

Oh, the one about the abyss staring right back into you? That.

Posts: 1,152

Age Range: 66-70

Who's Who and Where? Mar 16, 2023 23:48:14 GMT -5 misssunnybunny, northstarmom, and 2 more like this

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Post by petrushka on Mar 16, 2023 23:48:14 GMT -5

Um, married 23 years, 20 of them sexless. The relationship is very affectionately platonic. Not going to repeat the entirely history. 14 years ago I called her on the passive aggressive hell my life had become, and she mended her ways. Definitely did. When your significant other comes in the door after a day away and their face lights up when they see you, it's clear that there is some "I want you" involved. Oh, and, we are in Whangarei, New Zealand.

catlover
Full Member

Posts: 278

Age Range: 61-65

Who's Who and Where? Mar 18, 2023 10:53:25 GMT -5 angeleyes65, mirrororchid, and 2 more like this

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Post by catlover on Mar 18, 2023 10:53:25 GMT -5

Married 40 years, the last 10 or so sexless. Wife is very ill, but devoid of any physical affection. When called on it she denies it and yesterday I was now being accused of "always being controlling", and "everything has to be YOUR way". Fucking sick and tired of this, to say the least...
Today, hardly bothering to speak unless necessary, pretty much vowed to myself last night to not even touch her anymore, won't engage in much, had enough.
I am in SW Ontario, in Hagersville, a small town of about 3000.

Semi retired, half blind and starved of affection

heelots
Full Member

Posts: 244

Who's Who and Where? Mar 18, 2023 13:14:26 GMT -5 via mobile mirrororchid and blunder8 like this

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Post by heelots on Mar 18, 2023 13:14:26 GMT -5

Mar 18, 2023 10:53:25 GMT -5 catlover said:

Married 40 years, the last 10 or so sexless. Wife is very ill, but devoid of any physical affection. When called on it she denies it and yesterday I was now being accused of "always being controlling", and "everything has to be YOUR way". Fucking sick and tired of this, to say the least...
Today, hardly bothering to speak unless necessary, pretty much vowed to myself last night to not even touch her anymore, won't engage in much, had enough.
I am in SW Ontario, in Hagersville, a small town of about 3000.

I am so sorry things have reached this point for you. When I reached that point a few years ago and mentally began thinking of my wife as a roommate and nothing more it made things a bit easier when I removed the stress of thinking things could be fixed and a sexual relationship restored.

Sleeping separately was also a good thing. Without the sex I would never want to share a bed with her again.

I won't cheat on her nor leave so sadly about the only option that leaves (and it is a whole lot less gratifying than a mate) is porn ans seeing to your own needs. That is what this situation can leave you reduced to in a worst case scenario.

That said, if/ when you have finally found yourself reduced to this removing the mental torment of thinking of your roommate as a wife might give you a little peace, at least that was how it worked for me. YMMV

muzack
Junior Member

Posts: 69

Who's Who and Where? Mar 19, 2023 22:39:26 GMT -5 angeleyes65, mirrororchid, and 1 more like this

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Post by muzack on Mar 19, 2023 22:39:26 GMT -5

Married
Sexless
Reasonably Happy
married 22 years. sexless for most. Wife is working on her anxiety, body image, and control issues that are the primary cause of the senselessness.
Central Virginia, USA

h
Senior Members

Forum Benefactor

Working on step one.

Posts: 2,408

Age Range: 36-40

Who's Who and Where? Apr 10, 2023 11:40:00 GMT -5 via mobile angeleyes65, mirrororchid, and 1 more like this

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Post by h on Apr 10, 2023 11:40:00 GMT -5

Still married for at least (but probably not much more than) another year. Married almost 15 years. Clinically sexless since day one. Current disposition is "hopeful" considering that I see a light at the end of the tunnel where before there was no light. Live in rural upstate NY.

Edit: no longer hopeful because the tunnel has collapsed and there is no more light to see.

Last Edit: May 8, 2023 9:12:09 GMT -5 by h: Change of circumstances

Bits of me are dying but others are growing. One step at a time.

worksforme2 Senior Members Divorced Posts: 2,746 Age Range: 70+	Who's Who and Where? Apr 10, 2023 16:27:14 GMT -5 angeleyes65 and mirrororchid like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by worksforme2 on Apr 10, 2023 16:27:14 GMT -5 Escaped about 7-8 yrs ago Married for 5yrs. Sexlee -3yrs. Sort of in between partners at the moment

dallasgia Full Member Posts: 151	Who's Who and Where? Apr 12, 2023 15:36:24 GMT -5 via Tapatalk angeleyes65 and mirrororchid like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by dallasgia on Apr 12, 2023 15:36:24 GMT -5 Married 26 yrs But fighting to escape Completely sexless 4 yrs Basically sexless for over a decade. Current mood: desperate Location: Tx

warmways Full Member Posts: 451 Age Range: 51-55	Who's Who and Where? May 7, 2023 23:20:17 GMT -5 angeleyes65 and mirrororchid like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by warmways on May 7, 2023 23:20:17 GMT -5 Escaped in 2019, from an 18 year sexless marriage Married 18 years Began dating in 2021 after having to recover Current mood: Happy Location: ME