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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 10, 2016 12:44:08 GMT -5
I agree with unmatched . I would tell her you need to see that tax return or you will be filing married separate next year. I did go to the IRS office and get a copy of our Tax Return Transcript. ( can't see where anything is signed it's all done on the computer)Ending Dec. 31, 2015. We owe a small amount this year. I have statements that she printed out for our therapist that show our monthly budget. It's the 1.5.million in assests that has me concerned. The 401ks stocks, bonds and investments that never get discussed. Joint ventures that come in the mail to her name only. She figures I don't care to see them, ( she is right, I haven't until now, the trust factor).When it comes to spending, there are 5 or 6 minor incidences that add up. A big one was watching her and her sister move money around when there mother sold the house and wanted to spend more of the money on her self. How quickly they locked up much of the accounts and investments all in the name of protecting there daddy! There is also the changing of email addresses and some questionable emails that she simply claims, " I don't know how those get there". My response is " I never receive mail like that, why do you?" She says," well maybe it's the boys?" I tell her again, " I don't receive any of that!" Computers , I hate computers! |
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Post by bballgirl on Jun 10, 2016 14:32:18 GMT -5
I agree with unmatched . I would tell her you need to see that tax return or you will be filing married separate next year. I did go to the IRS office and get a copy of our Tax Return Transcript. ( can't see where anything is signed it's all done on the computer)Ending Dec. 31, 2015. We owe a small amount this year. I have statements that she printed out for our therapist that show our monthly budget. It's the 1.5.million in assests that has me concerned. The 401ks stocks, bonds and investments that never get discussed. Joint ventures that come in the mail to her name only. She figures I don't care to see them, ( she is right, I haven't until now, the trust factor).When it comes to spending, there are 5 or 6 minor incidences that add up. A big one was watching her and her sister move money around when there mother sold the house and wanted to spend more of the money on her self. How quickly they locked up much of the accounts and investments all in the name of protecting there daddy! There is also the changing of email addresses and some questionable emails that she simply claims, " I don't know how those get there". My response is " I never receive mail like that, why do you?" She says," well maybe it's the boys?" I tell her again, " I don't receive any of that!" Computers , I hate computers! That's good that you saw the tax return. When you retain an attorney you will have to provide 3 years of tax returns, fill out a financial afadavit of all accounts, expenses, property, assets, debts, etc. She will have to do the same. It all comes out in the wash. Florida is a 50/50 state as well. |
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Post by unmatched on Jun 10, 2016 14:53:08 GMT -5
greatcoastal your wife is smart, she is good with money, she has control over your finances and you already know she isn't completely straight with you. So in all honesty my gut says she will probably find a way to shaft you somewhat and get better than 50:50 in a divorce. So don't give her time to plan anything if you can help it. Aside from that you know you are entitled to decent alimony and it seems the two of you have enough assets/income that you will be fine anyway. So if you can I would try to do everything you can but not get too stressed about it. BTW your painting is amazingly good!
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Post by DryCreek on Jun 11, 2016 0:44:34 GMT -5
You could give art workshops (also on our global iliasm gathering) Body painting classes! ;-) |
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Post by unmatched on Jun 11, 2016 0:46:12 GMT -5
You could give art workshops (also on our global iliasm gathering) Body painting classes! ;-) ... With all different colours of chocolate |
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Post by DryCreek on Jun 11, 2016 0:59:53 GMT -5
greatcoastal, the picture you paint here is very disturbing. You're being setup. You are keeping the family unit together and caring for her aging father while she pursues her career. She's keeping you in the dark on finances, is hiding secret modes of communication, and has demonstrated behavior of manipulating money to cheat others for her benefit. She has tried to establish you as a domestic abuser. The picture I see playing out... When the kids are out of the house and her father has passed, you are no longer any value to her. She will shed you like a winter coat, painting you as an abusive criminal to put you on the street and at a negotiating disadvantage (no money, home, reputation, criminal charges to defend). Any assets that could have been liquidated / restructured / hidden will have been done by then (if not already), so that when she files for divorce you will be entitled to the minimum assets possible. So... Take the blunt advice here to heart. Do not treat her with anything but suspicion; she has already proven herself to be cold and cunning. Do not hire an "adequate" lawyer - find the most Type-A, aggressive, experienced divorce lawyer in your region, and pay for a forensic accountant to unwind the financial labyrinth it sounds like your wife is trying to construct. Do not give her warning before you file or have her served - it will give her advantage to make financial transactions you will want frozen. She clearly does not have the same ethics you do, so don't presume to know the limits of her behavior. Gloom and doom, I know, but from what you describe to us, it sounds like you are being played hard.
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Post by baza on Jun 13, 2016 8:06:26 GMT -5
Well so far, I reckon you are going great Brother GC.
You've seen a lawyer, and now have a framework within which you can start thinking seriously about an exit strategy.
Also, you have started the work (plenty more to come) on establishing the true financial position.
These are two critical planks in your platform.
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FWIW I agree with the above comments that your missus is going to hose you if she can. Indeed it looks suspiciously like she has her own exit strategy under development.
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But you are *preparing*, and if you carry that policy onward, you may well avoid getting hosed, or at the least, minimise the hosing level to managable proportions.
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You have momentum and the initiative at the moment.
They are valuable commodities to have in these situations.
Don't piss them up against the wall by easing off now Brother.
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Post by nyartgal on Jun 13, 2016 8:51:06 GMT -5
I'm with DryCreek here----I would operate on a worst case scenario assumption starting today. She could do things like transfer money to siblings to hide it and get it back when you divorce. I think the forensic accountant idea is mandatory. These things take time. Start now.
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