Post by greatcoastal on Jun 9, 2016 9:14:06 GMT -5
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. For those of you who don't know my wife and I have 6teenage children ( 3 adopted 3 natural) we did the reverse role, her the provider, ( her income has and always will be three times mine) and me the caregiver, homeschooler.
This attorney seems to think a 50/50 split will occur. I will be the one receiving life long alimony. Child support as well. One lawyer had told me I needed a room for every child. That had me concerned about affording and investing in a six bedroom house. This lawyer dismissed all that, and told me kids share rooms all the time. Get a 4 bedroom. appt. he also mentioned that " judges hear so many cases, they don't give a flip about the reasons, it's all due to irreconcilable differences. That in the next ten years judges won't be needed anymore. It will be done with a computer. Most judges do very little in the decision process anyway. Many,many things will be settled before the court date. A judge is going to ask you a few formidable questions, and wants to have it over with." Most cases take between 3 and 9 months. In the state of Fl. 17 yrs together, grants me life long alimony. We have been together 24. I have been unemployed ( part time not included )for 18 yrs.
i asked about my rental properties. His first reaction was that it would be split. When I informed him that it was all from my parents inheritence, and that I did and do 98 percent of the work, he said I would most likely end up keeping those,and she would get the big house we live in. I mentioned what is still owed on it and what it is worth now. Then he says, " you may end up selling it and splitting the difference."
Some warnings from the attorney. One spouse is usually greedy and the other is stubborn. He wants to take the high road and divide things as easily as possible. Not all attorneys do that. They will look at my wife's income and get greedy. He thought that normally the man does not get a fair amount of the split. In my case with the reversal things would lean more in my favor. He lit up when I mentioned the 9 yrs of being home caring for my wife's aging father who also lives with us.
the attorney mentioned it wouldn't matter who filled. My wife being the sole provider would have to pay her attorney and half or more of my attorney fees. One of my questions was my unemployment. Would getting a job know affect things? He said, " you are in your 50's, people aren't hiring folks in their 50's. You have been out of the work field for 18 yrs, you are only going to get a minimum wage job. While your wife has had all these years to excel in her career. You will never match her pay, she will owe you alimony.
He mentioned who will be available to stay with the children the most. That it is set up like a point system. For me to be careful about work hours.
Last, and this seemed very important to him, like he had seen it many times, was to be very cautious about staying together due to the fear of domestic violence. ( not that either one of us are violent!) he gave me an example: we are having a conversation, he reaches over and gently pushes my shoulder and says, " I'm just kidding! I don't mean that!" There. I just committed an act of domestic violence on you. I am the women you are the man, I call the law. The police are going to throw you in jail for the night, and there goes your reputation and much of your case for keeping the children!
I had to tell him, well something like that did happen. ( very short version) I cleaned weeks worth of clothes off our sons floor. Put them in a big bag and was taking them out of the house to donate them. ( taking the lead, taking control, doing what my wife claims she wants) she blocked my path forced me into the other end of the house demanded I give her the bag would not let me leave. I lightly bumped into her with the bag, she tried to take the bag. Our arms touched. She yelled for her deaf father to call the police.
Can that last an entire year? All this detachment, with the threat of any touch leading to a police phone call? I would like to give our son his last year in H.S. Before this happens. It means a smaller house to invest in. Much to talk about as I seek council from others.
Hope this kind of information helps someone else.
This attorney seems to think a 50/50 split will occur. I will be the one receiving life long alimony. Child support as well. One lawyer had told me I needed a room for every child. That had me concerned about affording and investing in a six bedroom house. This lawyer dismissed all that, and told me kids share rooms all the time. Get a 4 bedroom. appt. he also mentioned that " judges hear so many cases, they don't give a flip about the reasons, it's all due to irreconcilable differences. That in the next ten years judges won't be needed anymore. It will be done with a computer. Most judges do very little in the decision process anyway. Many,many things will be settled before the court date. A judge is going to ask you a few formidable questions, and wants to have it over with." Most cases take between 3 and 9 months. In the state of Fl. 17 yrs together, grants me life long alimony. We have been together 24. I have been unemployed ( part time not included )for 18 yrs.
i asked about my rental properties. His first reaction was that it would be split. When I informed him that it was all from my parents inheritence, and that I did and do 98 percent of the work, he said I would most likely end up keeping those,and she would get the big house we live in. I mentioned what is still owed on it and what it is worth now. Then he says, " you may end up selling it and splitting the difference."
Some warnings from the attorney. One spouse is usually greedy and the other is stubborn. He wants to take the high road and divide things as easily as possible. Not all attorneys do that. They will look at my wife's income and get greedy. He thought that normally the man does not get a fair amount of the split. In my case with the reversal things would lean more in my favor. He lit up when I mentioned the 9 yrs of being home caring for my wife's aging father who also lives with us.
the attorney mentioned it wouldn't matter who filled. My wife being the sole provider would have to pay her attorney and half or more of my attorney fees. One of my questions was my unemployment. Would getting a job know affect things? He said, " you are in your 50's, people aren't hiring folks in their 50's. You have been out of the work field for 18 yrs, you are only going to get a minimum wage job. While your wife has had all these years to excel in her career. You will never match her pay, she will owe you alimony.
He mentioned who will be available to stay with the children the most. That it is set up like a point system. For me to be careful about work hours.
Last, and this seemed very important to him, like he had seen it many times, was to be very cautious about staying together due to the fear of domestic violence. ( not that either one of us are violent!) he gave me an example: we are having a conversation, he reaches over and gently pushes my shoulder and says, " I'm just kidding! I don't mean that!" There. I just committed an act of domestic violence on you. I am the women you are the man, I call the law. The police are going to throw you in jail for the night, and there goes your reputation and much of your case for keeping the children!
I had to tell him, well something like that did happen. ( very short version) I cleaned weeks worth of clothes off our sons floor. Put them in a big bag and was taking them out of the house to donate them. ( taking the lead, taking control, doing what my wife claims she wants) she blocked my path forced me into the other end of the house demanded I give her the bag would not let me leave. I lightly bumped into her with the bag, she tried to take the bag. Our arms touched. She yelled for her deaf father to call the police.
Can that last an entire year? All this detachment, with the threat of any touch leading to a police phone call? I would like to give our son his last year in H.S. Before this happens. It means a smaller house to invest in. Much to talk about as I seek council from others.
Hope this kind of information helps someone else.
