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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 12, 2016 6:59:32 GMT -5
Lots of talk on here today about meeting others! That's great! Another biggie for me is children. I will always be a father of six. Someone has to accept that baggage, even when they are grown soon. Their is still college, moving, weddings, babies, etc...
A big fear/decision for me will be finding a woman who has her own children. As much as I think, " I'm not going through that again" or, " not more of it!" .the truth is I would probably melt like butter, and run to the call of " fatherhood" again!
Then the back burner would start all over again!
Lord, guide my sword!
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Post by wewbwb on Apr 12, 2016 7:13:03 GMT -5
Ha! Somehow, I don't see you only attracting single 400 lb losers who play video games  . It's not that I am against breaking rules - it just seems not enough. Well, sure. I'd rather have a man who *wasn't* already married. I'm not stupid or crazy. Who wants to deal with the hassles? I guess I'm a realist, though. By the time people are our age, most of the ones who are in any way attractive are already married. So, if nobody single turns up within a reasonable period of time, yes, I would be willing to consider being a married man's girlfriend. I would consider it stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. What about a younger man? |
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 12, 2016 7:14:25 GMT -5
My dad stayed, and it sucked. We were not a good match as a parent and child. He didn't like me, and it showed. Oh, he "loved" me. The man never shirked a duty in his life. He didn't abuse me, and he provided for me well. But most of our interactions consisted of him barking orders at me and criticizing me. I tried to stay out of his way as much as I could. If there had been a divorce, he would have said he wanted to see me, but I'm not sure why. Why would he want to spend time with such an unsatisfactory child as I apparently was? Unless he got some unholy pleasure out of hassling me. I'm still here with my boys, the teenage years are setting in. With it comes the separation period. It's understandable. However I thought their friends would be over, basketball, swimming, surfing, washing cars, girlfriends etc.. Nope! instead, every waking moment is on a screen, playing league of legends! then I end up the one barking orders, pick up your trash, set the table, go fill the trash can with leaves, like I told you three days ago! i just want to throw all there phones and computers in the trash! ( thank you Lord that I didn't grow up in a computer generation!) |
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Post by JMX on Apr 12, 2016 7:14:59 GMT -5
I am sure blending families is not fun in the beginning. I always wanted more kids and just can't afford them. I also feel I may be called to adopt older children in the distant future - so they have families to come home to on holidays and guidance. It breaks my heart that some have simply aged out of the system.
Anyway - I think the biggest challenge of blended families would be the custody sharing bit. Schedules aligning, etc. do you ever get alone time?
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Post by wewbwb on Apr 12, 2016 7:16:33 GMT -5
Maybe I should consider hanging out at funeral homes The conversations would be fun at least. "So what's a nice guy like you doing in a place like this?" "Um, burying my wife." "So what's you're rebound time like?" or the best: "Come here often?" |
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Post by JMX on Apr 12, 2016 7:19:56 GMT -5
Maybe I should consider hanging out at funeral homes The conversations would be fun at least. "So what's a nice guy like you doing in a place like this?" "Um, burying my wife." "So what's you're rebound time like?" or the best: "Come here often?" Lol! "Come here often?" If the answer is "yes" I may have to reconsider - surely they don't all die of natural causes! |
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 12, 2016 7:27:08 GMT -5
Maybe I should consider hanging out at funeral homes I've considered hanging out at the hotels near our house, on the beach. But I don't want to lower myself to be some stalker! I have walked the beach in the evenings, looking up at all those balconies, and wonder, " how many ladies are here with their girlfriends, or on business, who would like to meet a local like me?" |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 12, 2016 8:06:53 GMT -5
From a man's point of view I could easily say the same thing - all the non-psychotic women are already taken. But looking at a small and not very representative sample of two, you and JMX were taken until very recently and have now freed yourselves up and dropped (or are dropping, I guess, for JMX) their deadweight husbands. So there must be good men coming back onto the market all the time too. Maybe if you hang around the divorce courts and look for mean shrew-like woman who are glaring at decent looking men, that could be a pointer for who to look at first. Don't get me wrong - I can be a psycho You know - I was about to say - there are more of us (divorced or divorcing women) and it makes it harder to find a man, but, that's simple not true. There are more of us here. I guess the one thing that is sad and frustrating is that the women and men here would probably get along famously were they to meet and couple up. But most of the men here will stay (according to Baz stats - and I believe it to be true from the stories I have read) and never the two shall meet. We do have to wander a pool of single or "probably divorced by their wife" selections. Each time I go on a date I am sure in the back of my mind I will wonder: why did your ex divorce you? And it may take me a bit to figure it out. I just hope I run into one of you wonderful men. I fear you all are few and far between. I am holding out for the Holy Grail: A widower (whose wife died of natural causes) that was in a SM. I imagine he grieves (capacity for human emotions) but gets over it quickly. Oh, and, he likes to have sex with me. I am easy to please JMX, your curiosity regarding why a guy you've been dating got divorced is a very healthy one. I recommend you ask him. Then, I'd ask him if he minds if you contact his EX. And contact her and take her out for drinks. You're a sharp woman. You'll know the deal pretty quickly. I'm betting I can spot a refused or a total dud from a mile away. |
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Post by JMX on Apr 12, 2016 8:14:33 GMT -5
Don't get me wrong - I can be a psycho You know - I was about to say - there are more of us (divorced or divorcing women) and it makes it harder to find a man, but, that's simple not true. There are more of us here. I guess the one thing that is sad and frustrating is that the women and men here would probably get along famously were they to meet and couple up. But most of the men here will stay (according to Baz stats - and I believe it to be true from the stories I have read) and never the two shall meet. We do have to wander a pool of single or "probably divorced by their wife" selections. Each time I go on a date I am sure in the back of my mind I will wonder: why did your ex divorce you? And it may take me a bit to figure it out. I just hope I run into one of you wonderful men. I fear you all are few and far between. I am holding out for the Holy Grail: A widower (whose wife died of natural causes) that was in a SM. I imagine he grieves (capacity for human emotions) but gets over it quickly. Oh, and, he likes to have sex with me. I am easy to please JMX, your curiosity regarding why a guy you've been dating got divorced is a very healthy one. I recommend you ask him. Then, I'd ask him if he minds if you contact his EX. And contact her and take her out for drinks. You're a sharp woman. You'll know the deal pretty quickly. I'm betting I can spot a refused or a total dud from a mile away. My start will be no video games or any other hobbies that take up too much time. I would like someone with hobbies that are in the least a little more "active". But I want to be someone's hobby  ? |
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 12, 2016 8:17:56 GMT -5
I am sure blending families is not fun in the beginning. I always wanted more kids and just can't afford them. I also feel I may be called to adopt older children in the distant future - so they have families to come home to on holidays and guidance. It breaks my heart that some have simply aged out of the system. Anyway - I think the biggest challenge of blended families would be the custody sharing bit. Schedules aligning, etc. do you ever get alone time? I would be happy to talk adoption sometime. We adopted two older boys at the same time. It's a very moving story. Like life in general,it has it's good and bad. ( I believe taking on two more children, with four already, struggling with homeschool, and blind to our SM made the valley even wider between me and my wife, not that things won't work out for our children compared to what there lives would have been in the streets of China) do I ever get alone time? or is that part of your statement? |
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Post by JMX on Apr 12, 2016 8:19:27 GMT -5
I am sure blending families is not fun in the beginning. I always wanted more kids and just can't afford them. I also feel I may be called to adopt older children in the distant future - so they have families to come home to on holidays and guidance. It breaks my heart that some have simply aged out of the system. Anyway - I think the biggest challenge of blended families would be the custody sharing bit. Schedules aligning, etc. do you ever get alone time? I would be happy to talk adoption sometime. We adopted two older boys at the same time. It's a very moving story. Like life in general,it has it's good and bad. ( I believe taking on two more children, with four already, struggling with homeschool, and blind to our SM made the valley even wider between me and my wife, not that things won't work out for our children compared to what there lives would have been in the streets of China) do I ever get alone time? or is that part of your statement? I am curious how blended families after divorce sync up their schedules and ever have alone time. Not sure you can answer that as you are still in your SM. |
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Post by wewbwb on Apr 12, 2016 8:19:48 GMT -5
JMX, your curiosity regarding why a guy you've been dating got divorced is a very healthy one. I recommend you ask him. Then, I'd ask him if he minds if you contact his EX. And contact her and take her out for drinks. You're a sharp woman. You'll know the deal pretty quickly. I'm betting I can spot a refused or a total dud from a mile away. My start will be no video games or any other hobbies that take up too much time. I would like someone with hobbies that are in the least a little more "active". But I want to be someone's hobby ? Well as for hobbies- I feel part of the fun is not only exploring someones body (CURVES! Can't say it enough!) but their mind as well. I want a partner to share her hobbies and at least try to show a little interest in mine! Why can't "together" be a hobby? |
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Post by JMX on Apr 12, 2016 8:21:53 GMT -5
My start will be no video games or any other hobbies that take up too much time. I would like someone with hobbies that are in the least a little more "active". But I want to be someone's hobby ? Well as for hobbies- I feel part of the fun is not only exploring someones body (CURVES! Can't say it enough!) but their mind as well. I want a partner to share her hobbies and at least try to show a little interest in mine! Why can't "together" be a hobby? I think my trepidation in hobbies - well, my husband spends every moment not working playing video games and reading books. This is a very frustrating thing for me. I am not even sure I have hobbies of my own to share anymore. Another part of getting out and doing my own thing. Will be figuring this out again! |
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Post by wewbwb on Apr 12, 2016 9:23:22 GMT -5
Well as for hobbies- I feel part of the fun is not only exploring someones body (CURVES! Can't say it enough!) but their mind as well. I want a partner to share her hobbies and at least try to show a little interest in mine! Why can't "together" be a hobby? I think my trepidation in hobbies - well, my husband spends every moment not working playing video games and reading books. This is a very frustrating thing for me. I am not even sure I have hobbies of my own to share anymore. Another part of getting out and doing my own thing. Will be figuring this out again! Well the video game thing is an issue. Not going there. But there are lots of things to do together and share. I seriously doubt that you have no other insterests. Spiritual things? Movies? Pistol ranges( ) Historical places? |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 12, 2016 9:41:12 GMT -5
JMX, your curiosity regarding why a guy you've been dating got divorced is a very healthy one. I recommend you ask him. Then, I'd ask him if he minds if you contact his EX. And contact her and take her out for drinks. You're a sharp woman. You'll know the deal pretty quickly. I'm betting I can spot a refused or a total dud from a mile away. My start will be no video games or any other hobbies that take up too much time. I would like someone with hobbies that are in the least a little more "active". But I want to be someone's hobby ? That's a good start. I would think you should be able to find LOTS of decent guys -- especially where you live -- with healthy hobbies the two of you can share! Heck, I get all tingly just thinking about them!! Fishing, Hunting, Dirt Biking, Camping, Hiking, Cycling, Dogs (part of hunting). I'd better stop before I get you all excited!! |
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