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Post by catlover on Mar 27, 2021 20:20:44 GMT -5
Life just gets better, now my FWB doesn't want sex with me any more. Been in the "Friend Zone" only for a while, now basically says I have too many issues. To her I say, "Fuck you".
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Post by jim44444 on Mar 28, 2021 14:15:26 GMT -5
Move on. Other fish in the sea.
Did she define your issues?
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Post by catlover on Mar 28, 2021 18:38:02 GMT -5
Move on. Other fish in the sea. Did she define your issues? Pretty much because I still happen to love my wife (I think) , she didn't want to know. Edit: SHe wanted to stay friends! |
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Post by mirrororchid on Mar 31, 2021 4:48:26 GMT -5
Move on. Other fish in the sea. Did she define your issues? Pretty much because I still happen to love my wife (I think) , she didn't want to know. Edit: She wanted to stay friends! If your marital status is the deal-breaker, of course she wants to stay friends. All the better to hear it first when your wife passes (or you file papers). She'll be there to comfort you, and trade rings. Or maybe she'll look you up if a serviceable bachelor doesn't show up and she's forgetting what it was like. (In our age brackets, bachelors willing to marry are rare or have baggage.) You're her "In-Case-of-Emergency-Break-Glass" guy. (<opening mail> "Damn, another wedding to go to. 'Oh, Catloverrrrrrrrr!' ") Pre-nup this time. Adjust the vows: "Forsaking all others, unless a month goes by without you initiating." (Starfish sex is in the pre-nup) Lots of uncomfortable side-glances in the pews. |
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Post by catlover on Mar 31, 2021 14:22:40 GMT -5
Pretty much because I still happen to love my wife (I think) , she didn't want to know. Edit: She wanted to stay friends! If your marital status is the deal-breaker, of course she wants to stay friends. All the better to hear it first when your wife passes (or you file papers). She'll be there to comfort you, and trade rings. Or maybe she'll look you up if a serviceable bachelor doesn't show up and she's forgetting what it was like. (In our age brackets, bachelors willing to marry are rare or have baggage.) You're her "In-Case-of-Emergency-Break-Glass" guy. (oh, damn. another wedding to go to. "Oh, Catloverrrrrrrrr!") Pre-nup this time. Adjust the vows: "Forsaking all others, unless a month goes by without you initiating." (Starfish sex is in the pre-nup) Lots of uncomfortable side-glances in the pews. Yup, at first I was OK, then I thought, "fuck this shit", broken off all ties with her. |
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Post by saarinista on Apr 1, 2021 10:05:05 GMT -5
It's pretty difficult for many to people to stay involved sexually especially if one person is married and the other isn't. Not sure what your lover's situation was, but if you had to sideline her frequently for your refuser wife, who you nonetheless "love," that can become hurtful. catloverI'm just saying that gets old. And it may get older for women, especially older women. In general, I think women face more societal judgement for being outsourcers . Men? They get kudos. Women get called sluts. Few women want that label. Something to consider before you judge her too harshly. |
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Post by catlover on Apr 2, 2021 10:26:15 GMT -5
Hi and thanks for the replies. Her situation? Divorced and came out of, ironically, a semi sexless marriage (he would, now and again, get on top, do his thing and get off again. She told me holiday or vacation sex was a non event as in never.
She is a self described slut, having engaged in a lot of "sport fucking" after divorce.
I am probably judging her a bit harshly, I just don't need to deal with that shit in addition to everything else.
Yes I love my wife, although at times I feel like I hate her
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stu
New Member
Posts: 9 
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Post by stu on Jul 13, 2021 4:39:55 GMT -5
I think it’s time to forget the benefit side of your friendship. After all it was only a benefit for you both. Maybe find another FWB and keep your ex FWB as just a friend? Seems the only logical answer.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 13, 2021 6:39:32 GMT -5
I am a fan of fairness. And it seems to me the relationship you had with your FWB was far less than fair to her. Since you have no intention it seems of leaving, and you still "love" your W, where can the relationship go for the FWB? She will always be left sucking hind tit when it comes to holidays, travel, special occasions, etc. It becomes less a case of FWB and more along the lines of just a f*ck buddy. It sounds like she has concluded your issues don't leave enough time for her and you are unwilling(unable) to make as much of an investment in the relationship with her as she would need.
I would not burn any bridges were I you. You never know what the future holds for you and your W.
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Post by baza on Jul 13, 2021 8:08:27 GMT -5
I think that Brother catlover 's post again shows what a short term prospect a "FWB" often turns out to be. There's a whole lot of things that can bring about the cessation of a FWB deal. And most of them you have no control over. It can end, just like that, real quick. It would be most unwise to plan on a FWB set up as being anything other than a temporary band aid. |
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Post by catlover on Jul 14, 2021 10:13:13 GMT -5
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Post by catlover on Jul 14, 2021 20:31:48 GMT -5
Just thinking about fwb’s and outsourcing. Not working for me. I need the consistency of an normal committed sexual relationship. I want what I definitely can’t have out of this relationship I am trapped in
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Post by mirrororchid on Jul 14, 2021 20:41:17 GMT -5
Just thinking about fwb’s and outsourcing. Not working for me. I need the consistency of an normal committed sexual relationship. I want what I definitely can’t have out of this relationship I am trapped in Just checking some assumptions... My prospective FWB, Kathy, was looking to spend a few years going on dates with me, including sex as a part of it. It would include Netflix nights, dinners, free concerts, hikes. Once a week, twice sometimes. Hearing about how our families are getting along. Maybe even helping each other out here and there. Kathy was married too. We'd spend most of our lives looking after our spouses and kids. We'd get what we needed, but our families could not provide from each other. This is insufficient commitment? That's fine. Just checking whether my vision of a FWB strikes you as casual, or too superficial. Maybe you envision a FWB being like a free hooker. That wouldn't be my cup of tea either. |
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Post by Handy on Jul 14, 2021 21:58:21 GMT -5
Mirrororchid
My prospective FWB, Kathy, was looking to spend a few years going on dates with me, including sex as a part of it.
It would include Netflix nights, dinners, free concerts, hikes, Once a week, twice sometimes.
That almost sounds like a girlfriend experience. That would be a good experience in my opinion.
I read about FWBs but I don't see it happening very often for men.
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Post by catlover on Jul 14, 2021 22:47:47 GMT -5
Just thinking about fwb’s and outsourcing. Not working for me. I need the consistency of an normal committed sexual relationship. I want what I definitely can’t have out of this relationship I am trapped in Just checking some assumptions... My prospective FWB, Kathy, was looking to spend a few years going on dates with me, including sex as a part of it. It would include Netflix nights, dinners, free concerts, hikes. Once a week, twice sometimes. Hearing about how our families are getting along. Maybe even helping each other out here and there. Kathy was married too. We'd spend most of our lives looking after our spouses and kids. We'd get what we needed, but our families could not provide from each other. This is insufficient commitment? That's fine. Just checking whether my vision of a FWB strikes you as casual, or too superficial. Maybe you envision a FWB being like a free hooker. That wouldn't be my cup of tea either. Damn, I had typed out a long response but it didn't update. I resent the "free hooker" implication, the scenario you describe would be great, wouldn't work for me though |
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