|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Jul 15, 2021 7:33:31 GMT -5
Mirrororchid
My prospective FWB, Kathy, was looking to spend a few years going on dates with me, including sex as a part of it.
It would include Netflix nights, dinners, free concerts, hikes, Once a week, twice sometimes.That almost sounds like a girlfriend experience. That would be a good experience in my opinion. I read about FWBs but I don't see it happening very often for men. It's just my opinion, based on my experience and observation, and not any kind of systematic scientific study or poll, but I would postulate that men finding a FWB relationship is a pretty common occurrence in dating land. Call it a girlfriend experience if you like, but single or married( male or female)if one is serious and is willing to invest the time, money and effort a FWB can be found. For some males it won't be easy, but it can be done. Reading here a number of female members have successfully opted for that choice. I personally have had a couple 3 or 4 relationships I would place in the FWB bin since both me and the lady had a mutual understanding that we just enjoyed f*cking each other and that was the primary basis for our keeping company with each other. Seek and yea shall find. Don't seek and you will never find it. If one is determined that the only satisfactory relationship is one of a mutually committed and exclusive long term commitment, then what you a talking about is a marriage and not a FWB. I am not knocking marriage, but reading some of the posts from members here insisting that only a committed relationship works for them, i don't see wasting time fantasizing about having a FWB is helpful or productive. It really isn't what they want, is it? |
|
|
|
Post by catlover on Jul 15, 2021 9:21:54 GMT -5
Mirrororchid
My prospective FWB, Kathy, was looking to spend a few years going on dates with me, including sex as a part of it.
It would include Netflix nights, dinners, free concerts, hikes, Once a week, twice sometimes.That almost sounds like a girlfriend experience. That would be a good experience in my opinion. I read about FWBs but I don't see it happening very often for men. It's just my opinion, based on my experience and observation, and not any kind of systematic scientific study or poll, but I would postulate that men finding a FWB relationship is a pretty common occurrence in dating land. Call it a girlfriend experience if you like, but single or married( male or female)if one is serious and is willing to invest the time, money and effort a FWB can be found. For some males it won't be easy, but it can be done. Reading here a number of female members have successfully opted for that choice. I personally have had a couple 3 or 4 relationships I would place in the FWB bin since both me and the lady had a mutual understanding that we just enjoyed f*cking each other and that was the primary basis for our keeping company with each other. Seek and yea shall find. Don't seek and you will never find it. If one is determined that the only satisfactory relationship is one of a mutually committed and exclusive long term commitment, then what you a talking about is a marriage and not a FWB. I am not knocking marriage, but reading some of the posts from members here insisting that only a committed relationship works for them, i don't see wasting time fantasizing about having a FWB is helpful or productive. It really isn't what they want, is it? As my mother would say, you can't say you don't like something if you haven't tried it. I tried it, and doesn't really work for me (Maybe haven't found the right one or haven't been trying hard enough) But yeah, the sneaking around gets to me, along with the depression which robs you of motivation to get your ass moving. |
|
|
|
Post by mirrororchid on Jul 15, 2021 18:26:05 GMT -5
If one is determined that the only satisfactory relationship is one of a mutually committed and exclusive long term commitment, then what you a talking about is a marriage and not a FWB. I am not knocking marriage, but reading some of the posts from members here insisting that only a committed relationship works for them, i don't see wasting time fantasizing about having a FWB is helpful or productive. It really isn't what they want, is it? You can have a long-term, committed relationship to a FWB. The "exclusive" part is what makes it marriage. The requirement to have just one person to seek out all one's companionship needs is largely the reason this forum exists. If marriage weren't exclusive, the marriage being sexless might lose a lot of its sting. If one has a FWB and only that one lover, perhaps it might help these folks to think of themselves as married to the FWB and good friends with their ex who is legally still their spouse? The dynamic may match pretty well given the tendency of sexless marriage spouses to become FW/OB. Apocrypha asks members here how their relationship differs from that with an amicable ex. Getting a FWB might be a lot like being divorced. Enough like it that the paperwork is just an unnecessary, expensive nuisance? (Baza would wisely have you ready with it anyway) |
|
|
|
Post by baza on Jul 15, 2021 19:37:29 GMT -5
If you are single and desirous of having a root, you go out "dating" don't you ?
And wouldn't that process (dating) essentially be the same as a married person seeking a "Friend With Benefits" ?
In either situation (looking for a root / looking for a FWB) would that not involve building up some sort of level of trust / respect by both parties to a level where both parties are comfortable enough with the other to get it on ?
And doesn't that involve there being a relationship at some level (a bit more than just a "Friend") being in play ?
It's an interesting subject.
|
|
|
|
Post by saarinista on Jul 16, 2021 21:16:14 GMT -5
To me, I guess I'd just as soon be non sexual friends with guys but confine my sex to dates with a vibrator. Yup, that's where I'm at. I don't want to be a secret, a hassle, one of a few or branded as a slut.
|
|
|
|
Post by Handy on Jul 16, 2021 22:33:19 GMT -5
Baza
In either situation (looking for a root / looking for a FWB) would that not involve building up some sort of level of trust / respect by both parties to a level where both parties are comfortable enough with the other to get it on ?
And doesn't that involve there being a relationship at some level (a bit more than just a "Friend") being in play ?
would that not involve building up some sort of level of trust / respect by both parties to a level where both parties are comfortable enough
This is where I fall on the FWB scale, the building up some sort of level of trust / respect by both parties to a level where both parties are comfortable enough But I am no where near that happening.
I wonder if it is the 14 CT-PET scans that made me glow in the dark that scares women off? (just kidding)
|
|
|
|
Post by sweetplumeria on Jan 31, 2022 4:57:40 GMT -5
Hi and thanks for the replies. Her situation? Divorced and came out of, ironically, a semi sexless marriage (he would, now and again, get on top, do his thing and get off again. She told me holiday or vacation sex was a non event as in never. She is a self described slut, having engaged in a lot of "sport fucking" after divorce. I am probably judging her a bit harshly, I just don't need to deal with that shit in addition to everything else. Yes I love my wife, although at times I feel like I hate her I may be talking a bit out of turn but your anger might be spilling over into other areas of your life not because you mean to but because you are angry. Maybe it's hard for the other person to give benefits if there's too much friendship involved of course I don't know the entire situation. |
|
|
|
Post by tinymouse on Feb 3, 2022 19:39:13 GMT -5
Relationships and FWB relationships probably require more give AND take than mere friendships. It is possible that she felt that there was too much give on her part? It's easier let it go if it's just a friendship. I would talk to her and her to be honest and specific why. But then also make her feel like she won't get attacked for being honest.
|
|
