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Post by tiredoftears on Mar 27, 2021 6:33:34 GMT -5
I don't particularly want any responses to this. I just want to put it out there, know that someone has seen it,so that I know someone has "seen me". To think maybe they have a notion of the pain I am in.
I am currently (and have been) upset and frustrated by the fact I have life obligations now, (mainly my child) because if I had never "settled down", I would have no one to worry about and I could be fucking any and every one willing, because if it was only me I had to worry about - I would not care about covid-19 at all.
But now, because I have real life things to worry about, I have no fucking sex life because since my partner decided he'd rather only masturbate and I have to spend time and energy into finding other willing random whatever's for my "carnal needs"...... UGGGH! I can't. For an undetermined amount of time. Because my job is to keep my kid safe and healthy and happy, and make sure they are thriving, and I cannot risk their life for my needs,even though this is seriously fucking with my mental health. All the weight I lost? Yeah. I'm up from 190 to 230 now because I have nothing else that gives me "comfort" other than food. And I am tired of it. I am so tired of eating.
I am tired of living undiagnosed too. Everything points to I have a combination of ADHD and autism. And I am not coping well. And I have an acute fear I am going to have a nervous breakdown/meltdown what the fuck ever if I can't...... Idk.
Since December,three relatives have died of covid-19,one was in ICU for two months and is still on oxygen and using a walker, and she was in great shape beforehand,walking miles every day. Another has covid psychosis, which is TERRIFYING. it has been months and they don't know what to do because NOTHING HAS IMPROVED HIM, not the meds, not the shocks, they are at a loss.
Can I PLEASE just be given a deadline for when I can get my kid a fucking vaccine, so I am not quite as worried?
On a happier note, my kid read four full sentences today, without help, out loud, off the homeschool type paperwork I am improvising with that I print from online. So proud of my four year old. Every day we work on emotional intelligence, on top of what regular school stuff is.
I'm proud. I'm tired. And horny. But I come last. Sigh.
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 27, 2021 12:09:02 GMT -5
Just a thought ...Perhaps there are other parents in your neighborhood who have children roughly the same age as yours. If so, and if they are interested, schedule play dates on alternate days of the week to give you some time on your own to recharge. Your child could probably use some time in the company of others her own age.
It seems children are less prone to catch or spread Covid19. School attendance seems to be bearing this out. I am pleasantly surprised that grade schools in NC are reporting few incidents of actual infection following possible exposure to the virus. Your child is probably far safer than you are.
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Post by tiredoftears on Mar 27, 2021 16:37:59 GMT -5
Just a thought ...Perhaps there are other parents in your neighborhood who have children roughly the same age as yours. If so, and if they are interested, schedule play dates on alternate days of the week to give you some time on your own to recharge. Your child could probably use some time in the company of others her own age. It seems children are less prone to catch or spread Covid19. School attendance seems to be bearing this out. I am pleasantly surprised that grade schools in NC are reporting few incidents of actual infection following possible exposure to the virus. Your child is probably far safer than you are. I FAR disagree. For example, perhaps there is only a .01% chance if I let my child play kickball in the street they will die. I still will not let them play kickball in the street. And I will still fear for their safety anytime they are near one. the amount of stress that causes me just to think about them going into a public space with other children is overwhelming and I am incapable of dealing with it. so we do not go to the park that is less than one block from our house anymore. I have never been able to deal with other people so I cannot just me random people from around the neighborhood with other kids, because I am weird and I don't get along with people. That's where my neurodivergences come into play. So thanks for thinking that you're helping me giving me advice, but it is honestly zero help. |
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Post by deadzone75 on Mar 27, 2021 16:58:17 GMT -5
I've long wondered how much of my depression can be attributed to a SM. 50/50? 80/20? I always say I've had depression dating back to my teens...but have I really? I mean, what teenager isn't depressed? There was a period of years in my 20's where I had no real direction, but I don't recall being overly depressed...and at least I was getting laid then. So it begs the question, if I woke up tomorrow with a sex life, with someone who wanted sex as much as I do, someone I could have fun with, someone who I could share my innermost desires with, would the depression be less? Would I worry less, dread my job less, be less fatigued? Or would I be out of it either way? I don't know, because I haven't been sexually fulfilled for over 16 years. Is the lack of intimacy so strong that it can drive you to be a stranger to yourself, turn all tastes sour, push you over the edge with depression? I think yes.
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Post by tiredoftears on Mar 27, 2021 17:07:30 GMT -5
I've long wondered how much of my depression can be attributed to a SM. 50/50? 80/20? I always say I've had depression dating back to my teens...but have I really? I mean, what teenager isn't depressed? There was a period of years in my 20's where I had no real direction, but I don't recall being overly depressed...and at least I was getting laid then. So it begs the question, if I woke up tomorrow with a sex life, with someone who wanted sex as much as I do, someone I could have fun with, someone who I could share my innermost desires with, would the depression be less? Would I worry less, dread my job less, be less fatigued? Or would I be out of it either way? I don't know, because I haven't been sexually fulfilled for over 16 years. Is the lack of intimacy so strong that it can drive you to be a stranger to yourself, turn all tastes sour, push you over the edge with depression? I think yes. I think yes too. |
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Post by catlover on Mar 27, 2021 19:44:18 GMT -5
I've long wondered how much of my depression can be attributed to a SM. 50/50? 80/20? I always say I've had depression dating back to my teens...but have I really? I mean, what teenager isn't depressed? There was a period of years in my 20's where I had no real direction, but I don't recall being overly depressed...and at least I was getting laid then. So it begs the question, if I woke up tomorrow with a sex life, with someone who wanted sex as much as I do, someone I could have fun with, someone who I could share my innermost desires with, would the depression be less? Would I worry less, dread my job less, be less fatigued? Or would I be out of it either way? I don't know, because I haven't been sexually fulfilled for over 16 years. Is the lack of intimacy so strong that it can drive you to be a stranger to yourself, turn all tastes sour, push you over the edge with depression? I think yes. Yup, have to agree with you. As a long time depression sufferer I totally get it |
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Post by jerri on Mar 28, 2021 0:20:09 GMT -5
They won't give the covid vaccine to kids under 16 until they have done some trials. Pfizer just started a trial on children 2 days ago. You will have to depend on herd immunity at some point? or not. Don't need to answer. We just brainstorm and take what you like and leave the rest.
Best to make sure you do everything to check then strengthen immunity and protect yourself and your child.
I would think you would have some idea of your child's immunity based on previous years. It is an easy study.
I liked Worksforyou2's comments/suggestions, if not for you, for someone else.
The average weight gain in USA was 20-30lbs. You are not alone. I also gained weight I need to dump. One of our UK members is awesome at weight loss.
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Post by Handy on Mar 28, 2021 1:16:13 GMT -5
From CNN Health www.cnn.com/2021/03/24/health/weight-gain-during-covid-wellness/index.html"On average, people gained about 0.6 pounds every 10 days or 1.8 pounds per month during shelter in place (Feb to June 2020) orders," said cardiologist Dr. Gregory Marcus, one of the authors of the research and a professor of medicine at The University of California, San Francisco |
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Post by isthisit on Mar 28, 2021 2:17:58 GMT -5
I've long wondered how much of my depression can be attributed to a SM. 50/50? 80/20? I always say I've had depression dating back to my teens...but have I really? I mean, what teenager isn't depressed? There was a period of years in my 20's where I had no real direction, but I don't recall being overly depressed...and at least I was getting laid then. So it begs the question, if I woke up tomorrow with a sex life, with someone who wanted sex as much as I do, someone I could have fun with, someone who I could share my innermost desires with, would the depression be less? Would I worry less, dread my job less, be less fatigued? Or would I be out of it either way? I don't know, because I haven't been sexually fulfilled for over 16 years. Is the lack of intimacy so strong that it can drive you to be a stranger to yourself, turn all tastes sour, push you over the edge with depression? I think yes. My sympathies, depression is a miserable thing to live with and removes the colour from one’s life. Just grim. About your question, my view is that each element of sexlessness (and the emotional disconnection that goes along with it) and low mood can begin to influence the other towards a self fulfilling prophecy of hopelessness and low resilience. Unfortunately the lower down that spiral you go, the less equipped you become to get out of the SM, and before you know it decades have slipped by and you’re wondering when your life is going to start. The good news is depression can be effectively treated with SSRI’s and counselling. But, you have to want to do it. When you are at the bottom of that spiral it can feel impossible and not worth the risk of trying. Enormous reserves of resilience are needed here which not everyone can find without support. It is also worth mentioning that there are lots of people mightily cheesed off with their SM who are not clinically depressed, so maybe look a little wider for a full inventory of your individual situation. For deadzone75 only: if you didn’t want to go the meds and counselling route you could try the Costa Rica/ isthisit / sadkat / sandwich filling treatment option. Just to rule out the SM aspect of your ill health. An experiment. For science. |
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Post by sadkat on Mar 28, 2021 9:21:29 GMT -5
I've long wondered how much of my depression can be attributed to a SM. 50/50? 80/20? I always say I've had depression dating back to my teens...but have I really? I mean, what teenager isn't depressed? There was a period of years in my 20's where I had no real direction, but I don't recall being overly depressed...and at least I was getting laid then. So it begs the question, if I woke up tomorrow with a sex life, with someone who wanted sex as much as I do, someone I could have fun with, someone who I could share my innermost desires with, would the depression be less? Would I worry less, dread my job less, be less fatigued? Or would I be out of it either way? I don't know, because I haven't been sexually fulfilled for over 16 years. Is the lack of intimacy so strong that it can drive you to be a stranger to yourself, turn all tastes sour, push you over the edge with depression? I think yes. My sympathies, depression is a miserable thing to live with and removes the colour from one’s life. Just grim. About your question, my view is that each element of sexlessness (and the emotional disconnection that goes along with it) and low mood can begin to influence the other towards a self fulfilling prophecy of hopelessness and low resilience. Unfortunately the lower down that spiral you go, the less equipped you become to get out of the SM, and before you know it decades have slipped by and you’re wondering when your life is going to start. The good news is depression can be effectively treated with SSRI’s and counselling. But, you have to want to do it. When you are at the bottom of that spiral it can feel impossible and not worth the risk of trying. Enormous reserves of resilience are needed here which not everyone can find without support. It is also worth mentioning that there are lots of people mightily cheesed off with their SM who are not clinically depressed, so maybe look a little wider for a full inventory of your individual situation. For deadzone75 only: if you didn’t want to go the meds and counselling route you could try the Costa Rica/ isthisit / sadkat / sandwich filling treatment option. Just to rule out the SM aspect of your ill health. An experiment. For science. and deadzone75- just give the word! I’ll have my bags packed and be ready to go in no time! |
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Post by deadzone75 on Mar 28, 2021 11:25:25 GMT -5
I've long wondered how much of my depression can be attributed to a SM. 50/50? 80/20? I always say I've had depression dating back to my teens...but have I really? I mean, what teenager isn't depressed? There was a period of years in my 20's where I had no real direction, but I don't recall being overly depressed...and at least I was getting laid then. So it begs the question, if I woke up tomorrow with a sex life, with someone who wanted sex as much as I do, someone I could have fun with, someone who I could share my innermost desires with, would the depression be less? Would I worry less, dread my job less, be less fatigued? Or would I be out of it either way? I don't know, because I haven't been sexually fulfilled for over 16 years. Is the lack of intimacy so strong that it can drive you to be a stranger to yourself, turn all tastes sour, push you over the edge with depression? I think yes. My sympathies, depression is a miserable thing to live with and removes the colour from one’s life. Just grim. About your question, my view is that each element of sexlessness (and the emotional disconnection that goes along with it) and low mood can begin to influence the other towards a self fulfilling prophecy of hopelessness and low resilience. Unfortunately the lower down that spiral you go, the less equipped you become to get out of the SM, and before you know it decades have slipped by and you’re wondering when your life is going to start. The good news is depression can be effectively treated with SSRI’s and counselling. But, you have to want to do it. When you are at the bottom of that spiral it can feel impossible and not worth the risk of trying. Enormous reserves of resilience are needed here which not everyone can find without support. It is also worth mentioning that there are lots of people mightily cheesed off with their SM who are not clinically depressed, so maybe look a little wider for a full inventory of your individual situation. For deadzone75 only: if you didn’t want to go the meds and counselling route you could try the Costa Rica/ isthisit / sadkat / sandwich filling treatment option. Just to rule out the SM aspect of your ill health. An experiment. For science. I'm going to revisit this post after work, as there are some interesting points made within. Indeed, I have tried conventional methods. Perhaps I should lean more on science for solutions. Science is cool. |
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Post by isthisit on Mar 28, 2021 16:33:25 GMT -5
My sympathies, depression is a miserable thing to live with and removes the colour from one’s life. Just grim. About your question, my view is that each element of sexlessness (and the emotional disconnection that goes along with it) and low mood can begin to influence the other towards a self fulfilling prophecy of hopelessness and low resilience. Unfortunately the lower down that spiral you go, the less equipped you become to get out of the SM, and before you know it decades have slipped by and you’re wondering when your life is going to start. The good news is depression can be effectively treated with SSRI’s and counselling. But, you have to want to do it. When you are at the bottom of that spiral it can feel impossible and not worth the risk of trying. Enormous reserves of resilience are needed here which not everyone can find without support. It is also worth mentioning that there are lots of people mightily cheesed off with their SM who are not clinically depressed, so maybe look a little wider for a full inventory of your individual situation. For deadzone75 only: if you didn’t want to go the meds and counselling route you could try the Costa Rica/ isthisit / sadkat / sandwich filling treatment option. Just to rule out the SM aspect of your ill health. An experiment. For science. and deadzone75 - just give the word! I’ll have my bags packed and be ready to go in no time! Ah, at the moment I am not allowed past the supermarket. I had forgotten about that. I really am fed up with this now. You two carry on, I will be as quick as I can. |
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Post by sadkat on Mar 28, 2021 21:39:43 GMT -5
isthisit and deadzone75 - just give the word! I’ll have my bags packed and be ready to go in no time! Ah, at the moment I am not allowed past the supermarket. I had forgotten about that. I really am fed up with this now. You two carry on, I will be as quick as I can. We can’t have the sandwich filling treatment without the rest of the sandwich. Hurry up! |
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Post by deadzone75 on Mar 29, 2021 0:25:52 GMT -5
I've long wondered how much of my depression can be attributed to a SM. 50/50? 80/20? I always say I've had depression dating back to my teens...but have I really? I mean, what teenager isn't depressed? There was a period of years in my 20's where I had no real direction, but I don't recall being overly depressed...and at least I was getting laid then. So it begs the question, if I woke up tomorrow with a sex life, with someone who wanted sex as much as I do, someone I could have fun with, someone who I could share my innermost desires with, would the depression be less? Would I worry less, dread my job less, be less fatigued? Or would I be out of it either way? I don't know, because I haven't been sexually fulfilled for over 16 years. Is the lack of intimacy so strong that it can drive you to be a stranger to yourself, turn all tastes sour, push you over the edge with depression? I think yes. My sympathies, depression is a miserable thing to live with and removes the colour from one’s life. Just grim. About your question, my view is that each element of sexlessness (and the emotional disconnection that goes along with it) and low mood can begin to influence the other towards a self fulfilling prophecy of hopelessness and low resilience. Unfortunately the lower down that spiral you go, the less equipped you become to get out of the SM, and before you know it decades have slipped by and you’re wondering when your life is going to start. The good news is depression can be effectively treated with SSRI’s and counselling. But, you have to want to do it. When you are at the bottom of that spiral it can feel impossible and not worth the risk of trying. Enormous reserves of resilience are needed here which not everyone can find without support. It is also worth mentioning that there are lots of people mightily cheesed off with their SM who are not clinically depressed, so maybe look a little wider for a full inventory of your individual situation. For deadzone75 only: if you didn’t want to go the meds and counselling route you could try the Costa Rica/ isthisit / sadkat / sandwich filling treatment option. Just to rule out the SM aspect of your ill health. An experiment. For science. I came to revisit the cream filling. I mean the sandwich filling. The SFT option. Just (partially) kidding. You mentioned wondering when life is going to start. I know it's a glass-half-empty view, but I don't wait for my life to start, but to end. That's not as ominous as it sounds. I only mean that ship has sailed away with my better days, and now I am left to wonder when it will end, and what I might be able to salvage before it ends. How much shit that I have always wanted to do can be crammed into the final act? Now is mayonnaise bad for the skin, because I'm going to be slathered in it. |
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Post by sadkat on Mar 29, 2021 1:08:03 GMT -5
My sympathies, depression is a miserable thing to live with and removes the colour from one’s life. Just grim. About your question, my view is that each element of sexlessness (and the emotional disconnection that goes along with it) and low mood can begin to influence the other towards a self fulfilling prophecy of hopelessness and low resilience. Unfortunately the lower down that spiral you go, the less equipped you become to get out of the SM, and before you know it decades have slipped by and you’re wondering when your life is going to start. The good news is depression can be effectively treated with SSRI’s and counselling. But, you have to want to do it. When you are at the bottom of that spiral it can feel impossible and not worth the risk of trying. Enormous reserves of resilience are needed here which not everyone can find without support. It is also worth mentioning that there are lots of people mightily cheesed off with their SM who are not clinically depressed, so maybe look a little wider for a full inventory of your individual situation. For deadzone75 only: if you didn’t want to go the meds and counselling route you could try the Costa Rica/ isthisit / sadkat / sandwich filling treatment option. Just to rule out the SM aspect of your ill health. An experiment. For science. I came to revisit the cream filling. I mean the sandwich filling. The SFT option. Just (partially) kidding. You mentioned wondering when life is going to start. I know it's a glass-half-empty view, but I don't wait for my life to start, but to end. That's not as ominous as it sounds. I only mean that ship has sailed away with my better days, and now I am left to wonder when it will end, and what I might be able to salvage before it ends. How much shit that I have always wanted to do can be crammed into the final act? Now is mayonnaise bad for the skin, because I'm going to be slathered in it. I have so much to say about this but unfortunately it’s late and I have an early day tomorrow. I’ll be back to expand on this. For now.... Life is full of wonderful little surprises if we choose to take a few risks. I hear olive oil is excellent for the skin.... |
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