Post by heathcliff on Aug 31, 2020 23:31:02 GMT -5
I think it has been about a year since I last posted here. It has been a little longer than that since I last had sex with my wife.
After years of no sex, we briefly started up again in 2019. After the last time my wife and I had sex, I regretted doing it, and I realized that I have no interest in sex with her anymore. I don't think I will ever have sex with her again.
I am staying with her for the kids. 4 more years, at which point they will both be off to college, and shortly after that I will go my separate way. I like our life together, I get along with her, and we live comfortably, but I do not love her anymore. She probably knows this. She tries to be friendly, but we have definitely pulled back from each other, and are more roommates than husband and wife. We had a new "talk" over a year ago, although in this one, I told her she could do whatever she wanted. We never resolved exactly what that meant or what the implications of that were, and she didn't ask me any questions about what I would do. She certainly never agreed to anything (because she never resolves anything important), but I don't give a shit anymore so I am not going to bring it up again if she doesn't. I said everything I am going to say to her on this topic, and I actually put a lot of it in writing. I think Covid is going to crimp everyone's style for a while, so it isn't like I am going to start hooking up on the side or anything.
Having no interest in sex with her and no longer seeing her as a sexual being, does make me appreciate her perspective a little more. She reached that point with me years ago. She should have said something to me, and not doing so was completely selfish but she is a selfish person which I knew when I asked her to marry me. Now I am at the same point. I simply do not want to have sex with her anymore.