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Post by tinymouse on Jun 28, 2020 1:59:34 GMT -5
Things at work have been so busy that it was only thr next day i realized what day it was. 10 years since I threw him out. 10 years of parasite free. Things certainly are different now. My current husband and I actually made fun of something my ex said, how he made an excuse that after 30 a man just doesnt want it as much. What a crock.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jun 28, 2020 6:21:46 GMT -5
Long time no see tinymouse. Posts like this one should be required reading for those who find themselves in a SM. Once again the evidence shows more often than not life in "opposite land" is far better than staying with one's refusing partner.
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Post by Handy on Jun 28, 2020 10:18:31 GMT -5
Tinymouse
My current husband and I actually made fun of something my ex said, phoebe made an excuse that after 30 a man just doesn't want it as much. I was still ready to go at it even when I was 60. My W complained why couldn't I be like normal men at 60 with ED.
I have added a few years and now it just takes longer to get an erection.
Maybe never smoking or getting drunk helped keep things up.
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Post by tinymouse on Jun 28, 2020 18:09:03 GMT -5
Long time no see tinymouse. Posts like this one should be required reading for those who find themselves in a SM. Once again the evidence shows more often than not life in "opposite land" is far better than staying with one's refusing partner. I've sort of been here. Been lurking every couple of weeks or so. It definitely is so much better. Granted I also got lucky that it was easy to leave since we didnt have kids or property together |
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Post by worksforme2 on Jun 28, 2020 21:24:16 GMT -5
My current husband and I actually made fun of something my ex said, how he made an excuse that after 30 a man just doesnt want it as much. What a crock. I agree with your former H. After 30 I didn't want it as much,....I wanted it more. And like Handy even in my 60's i wanted it 3 or more times a week. So yeah,...what a crock. |
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Post by saarinista on Jun 29, 2020 17:26:19 GMT -5
I just turned 60, and I want to have sex. But I want it with someone who wants to have it with me, not with my refuser husband.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jun 29, 2020 18:18:57 GMT -5
I just turned 60, and I want to have sex. But I want it with someone who wants to have it with me, not with my refuser husband. Let me help you saarinista....next time you are out and about and find yourself attracted to a male just make eye contact, smile, and wiggly your eyebrows....you will be having sex almost immediately. |
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Post by Handy on Jun 30, 2020 2:24:17 GMT -5
Worksforme2, I think Saarinista and other women on the ILIASM forum want more than a stiff dick and sex, just like most guys want more than a warm hole. We generally want what is called the boyfriend or girlfriend experience, where the other parts of a rewarding experience happen and we can trust it will be mutually rewarding for some time in the future.
At least that is what I desire. Will it play out that way? I don't know.
It is too bad we don't live closer together and can meet on a regular basis to solve similar issues. It is one thing to talk about common issues and another thing to actually work things out. The working things out requires face to face meetings on a long term basis. And then there is that thing called "chemistry" that can make or break a decent relationship.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jun 30, 2020 5:32:29 GMT -5
I really think you are stuck in a rut Handy. Every close or intimate encounter with someone of the opposite sex does not require months or years of careful cultivation. Ever heard the term "quickie"? And while I agree the GF or BF experience is the better option over the long haul what I have learned from women, especially the ladies here, is that sometimes they just want to be f*cked. No romance, no soft, tender lovemaking, just long and hard PIV, along with other assurances that you lust for them and that you are keen on pounding them. Just a thought you might want to keep in mind should you ever consider intimacy with a woman other than your spouse.
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Post by Handy on Jun 30, 2020 10:06:27 GMT -5
OK Worksforme2, I will agree I look at things long term and I could be missing out on that so called quickie. I have had years of stock investing where I look at a companies 1 yr and 5 yr projected business growth and base my buy or sell decisions on part of that estimate.
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Post by saarinista on Jul 1, 2020 17:38:45 GMT -5
I agree with both of you, worksforme2 and Handy. Yes, sometimes you do just want to get laid. However, that is harder in situations such as some of us have. Some of us refers to me, handy and others I'm sure. In my deal, I'm still married. My husband is always home and since my job hunting efforts were halted by covid, so am I. This makes for a bit of difficulty having an affair. Moreover, while affairs are okay, I'm not eager to have casual sex with other married people. It's not even the morality piece on my part as much as it is that once you start into having extramarital sex, I think it tends to stay that way. Also, affairs can lead to legal actions against the participants, especially in alienation of affection states like North Carolina and others. Finally, I have a distressing tendency to fall in love, which then leads to hurt feelings if the other person won't leave their deal. Bottom line: this is why God invented divorce, I guess. So we could have sex again! Casual sex is much easier if we're not married. In fact, it seems almost EVERY kind of sex is easier if we're not married. 🤷♀️🤔 That said, I do think there is value in proving to yourself that you can still be sexual, even if a fling doesn't lead into dating or marriage. How about it, handy? You're up next! There's gotta be someone out there... |
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Post by Handy on Jul 1, 2020 18:56:28 GMT -5
Saarinista
....I have a distressing tendency to fall in love, .....I am the same way or maybe I mostly want an exclusive partner. Then there is the concept of long term relationship investment costs and not wanting things to become one sided or being selfish. Yes, Saarinista, there is someone out there for me. Like you, my free time is sort of limited to short periods of time away from home. A potential partner would need to be very local for it to grow into something serious.
One personality profile I completed suggested my long term compatibility factor was 5% for a very good relationship and another 20% for good relationship, for what ever the test was worth. Like Northstarmon said many times, me being married turns most women off. A FWB that doesn't want anything else might work but I don't expect that to happen.
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Post by saarinista on Jul 1, 2020 22:03:51 GMT -5
Handy have you given any thought at all to getting a divorce? 💭🤷♀️ I'll grant you I'm not there either, but at least I know I need to be! I would let you off the hook, my friend, but your faithful reappearances on this forum suggest that you, like me, are unhappy in a way that may only be remedied by a splint and reboot.
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Post by Handy on Jul 1, 2020 22:34:53 GMT -5
Saarinista
Handy have you given any thought at all to getting a divorce?
Lots of times. I even found some laweyr's phone numbers and eve got a referral from a fr19iend. I have looked at places to live. That is the main hang up right now. I do not want to rent and buying a place, every time I look the prices go up a lot.
Another issue right now is I am having some issues with the DNA miss-match repair treatments that go on until Dec 2020.
Concerning a split and re-boot, the post split part would be OK. A re-boot, well all of the widows I talk to say they like their single life, so I don't know how a re-boot would work out. It seems many older women fear being a nurse so they rather be single. Anyway, that is what I hear unless the women are in a financial bind.
This staying home also makes it difficult to cultivate new and old relationships. Covid 19 is now 3X more prevalent than it was a couple of months ago. Lots of national events just take longer to reach my rural community, so to be on the safe side I mostly stay home and to myself.
If i had a prospect of a decent relationship with a like minded woman, it would be much easier to pull the plug.
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Post by saarinista on Jul 1, 2020 23:25:55 GMT -5
Handy If prices go up every time you look at a potential purchase, you obviously should be a real estate investor! 😁 I'm not feeling very optimistic. You shoot yourself down before you get started. Sigh. I have to say this gives ME pause. What are the odds I'll find a new partner if all the men think like you do?
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