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Post by tinymouse on Jul 2, 2020 0:08:31 GMT -5
You gotta make a move sometime. You cant wait for ideal time. Just the time when you can survive and not get royally screwed hopefully. When I threw the dirtbag out, I was a month and a half into a job after not being able to find a job for almost a year after graduating and moving. I had 1 small group of acquaintances besides my coworkers, no friends in the area. I got a crappy cheap apartment once I got the job and then I threw him out. It wasn't ideal. It wasn't the plan. But ideal would not have happened and waiting would have just caused more pain. Ideal came after I left. Yeah I had to wait, but sure was easier to wait being away from home and when I actually was getting laid.
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Post by Handy on Jul 2, 2020 9:58:39 GMT -5
Saarinista, the key is proximity to a potential partner for me. Get me close enough (mileage wise) to a potential partner and things might just might progress rather quickly.
I used to read the profiles on POF but found no one my age or locally if they were close to my age, so I quit looking. I also automatically assumed anyone more than 5 years younger than me wouldn't be interested in me. I guess I became sensitive to the women that posted guys only want younger women and I was thinking I wasn't going to be a trophy / arm candy (the woman is arm candy) picking guy.
OK, so I am risk adverse. I don't want things to go bad for the parties involved. Put you and I in the same town and I am reasonably confident we could work something out. But that isn't how life is most of the time.
I am truly happy for Shamwow and BOC that they could travel and work out things in their online relationship.
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Post by saarinista on Jul 2, 2020 19:13:34 GMT -5
Handy I think you need to figure out whether you'll ever be available fully to any woman or if you are going just stay married no matter what, and hence, just looking for an affair. If you can't even tell a potential partner whether you would ever consider anything more than a no- strings sexual relationship, you're not likely to be very attractive. The vast majority of women will avoid getting entangled with you if you don't know whether you want just sex, or if you are open to a relationship if you end up actually liking one other as people. There are other questions and considerations, but you seem to be avoiding answering the biggest one, to wit: what are you looking for?
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Post by Handy on Jul 2, 2020 19:53:38 GMT -5
My first choice would be a LTR that worked for both of us.
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Post by Handy on Jul 3, 2020 13:19:56 GMT -5
Saarinista
you seem to be avoiding answering the biggest one, to wit: what are you looking for?
I was thinking about what I want and came up with an idea. That idea or concern is I can want what I want but if it is not on the menu, what are the chances of getting what I want?
This is in reference to "what I want" LTR and what does the other person want or is happy to offer. This is why I listed a FWB on a post I made. I realize wanting a particular thing does not mean that is what I get.
Maybe I only sometimes get what I want and settle close or for good enough on a regular basis.
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