You gotta make a move sometime. You cant wait for ideal time. Just the time when you can survive and not get royally screwed hopefully. When I threw the dirtbag out, I was a month and a half into a job after not being able to find a job for almost a year after graduating and moving. I had 1 small group of acquaintances besides my coworkers, no friends in the area. I got a crappy cheap apartment once I got the job and then I threw him out. It wasn't ideal. It wasn't the plan. But ideal would not have happened and waiting would have just caused more pain. Ideal came after I left. Yeah I had to wait, but sure was easier to wait being away from home and when I actually was getting laid.
Saarinista, the key is proximity to a potential partner for me. Get me close enough (mileage wise) to a potential partner and things might just might progress rather quickly.
I used to read the profiles on POF but found no one my age or locally if they were close to my age, so I quit looking. I also automatically assumed anyone more than 5 years younger than me wouldn't be interested in me. I guess I became sensitive to the women that posted guys only want younger women and I was thinking I wasn't going to be a trophy / arm candy (the woman is arm candy) picking guy.
OK, so I am risk adverse. I don't want things to go bad for the parties involved. Put you and I in the same town and I am reasonably confident we could work something out. But that isn't how life is most of the time.
I am truly happy for Shamwow and BOC that they could travel and work out things in their online relationship.
Handy I think you need to figure out whether you'll ever be available fully to any woman or if you are going just stay married no matter what, and hence, just looking for an affair.
If you can't even tell a potential partner whether you would ever consider anything more than a no- strings sexual relationship, you're not likely to be very attractive. The vast majority of women will avoid getting entangled with you if you don't know whether you want just sex, or if you are open to a relationship if you end up actually liking one other as people.
There are other questions and considerations, but you seem to be avoiding answering the biggest one, to wit: what are you looking for?
Please forgive any typos or poor sentence structure. As I often say, you can have it perfect or you can have it now. Here, I choose now.
Saarinista you seem to be avoiding answering the biggest one, to wit: what are you looking for?
I was thinking about what I want and came up with an idea. That idea or concern is I can want what I want but if it is not on the menu, what are the chances of getting what I want?
This is in reference to "what I want" LTR and what does the other person want or is happy to offer. This is why I listed a FWB on a post I made. I realize wanting a particular thing does not mean that is what I get.
Maybe I only sometimes get what I want and settle close or for good enough on a regular basis.
notdeadyet: I saw a bumper sticker on an old pickup truck years ago that I always think of in this context. It said: "I feel much better since I gave up hope." How many of us have come to that conclusion?
Jan 16, 2021 15:24:09 GMT -5
DryCreek: I suppose that’s a variation on “Expectations are the source of all disappointment.”
Jan 16, 2021 20:15:01 GMT -5
DryCreek: (I think that might be a Buddhist expression. It’s true, really. I think it’s reasonable to have expectations, but when you get to choose the yardstick that will determine your happiness, then disappointment really is in your control.)
Jan 16, 2021 20:19:55 GMT -5
wewbwb: DryCreek You are correct. I'm still learning to "just be"
Jan 16, 2021 22:36:40 GMT -5
jerri: Good one DryCreek notdeadyet wewbrb
Jan 17, 2021 1:26:55 GMT -5
jerri: Anyone get their vaccine?
Jan 18, 2021 0:50:18 GMT -5
Handy: The medical workers are still getting the available vaccine. The older population and high risk people might start getting the vaccine om Jan 20 or Jan 22 in my area.
Jan 18, 2021 15:05:22 GMT -5
jerri: My husband, step-son, and his wife all got theirs. I am left, but I am sure it will be awhile. Great news Handy good luck everyone.
Jan 19, 2021 1:26:11 GMT -5
tooyoungtobeold: I got my first Covid vaccine (Moderna version) about a week and a half ago.
Jan 20, 2021 16:59:41 GMT -5
Handy: I called for a Covid vaccine appointment. All of the vaccines were spoken for. Maybe next week or the week after that and so on.
Jan 20, 2021 22:48:58 GMT -5
worksforme2: I fall into the 1b grouping, the 2nd tier of recipients in NC. I'm behind the essential 1a group consisting of medical, 1st responders, grocery clerks, etc, and people in prison. Maybe by July, August if I'm lucky.
Jan 21, 2021 10:30:05 GMT -5
jerri: Handy, we have a website you can sign up on. They call when it is your turn, any chance you have something like that?
Jan 21, 2021 13:28:32 GMT -5
jerri: worksforme2, you are behind people in prison? WOW looks like most would have better immunity! Nice @tooyoungtobeold.
Jan 21, 2021 13:31:38 GMT -5
Handy: Jerri, one place has a sign-up website but I doubt they will e-mail me. So far my area has 3 places that got SOME vaccine but not much. The big push here are the Native American Reservations because they have a higher than normal infection rate.
Jan 22, 2021 2:56:36 GMT -5
Handy: Jerri, Yes, prisoners come before 1b old folks. They live in confined areas where transmission rates are high.
Jan 22, 2021 3:01:27 GMT -5