I heard about this site when I was collaborating a little with
Love Not Anger:
rentafriend.com/Love Not Anger (LNA) was a successor to a benign Incel movement long ago that mutated into a toxic stew of machismo and misogyny. Its originator rebooted her attempt to provide an alternative to the red pill movement.
I offered to share the marcel (married, involuntarily celibate) perspective, but was largely rebuffed. Its founder wanted to link up lonely people with friends. The sex was an afterthought for her. She hinted that I should quit my bitchin'. She's not wrong that lonely people have it worse off than marcels, but we can't walk and chew gum at the same time? *shrug*
While I was helping, RentAfriend seemed like a good idea to get help for hopeless weenies that didn't know how to dress and groom themselves, small talk with women, or know what they may need to do to become attractive.
Your agenda of self-improvement and meeting platonically with women and getting what you need from the relationship strikes me as suitable for a situation where paying for a friend might make sense. You want to be flirty and attractive, but make it clear it can go nowhere. The payment situation inserts literal professionalism into the meeting.
This mercenary approach may be the most efficient.
For my part, since you asked about other ILIASM experiences with jealousy...
I gave my wife "The Talk" in February 2017 explaining our 20th wedding anniversary was not going to be a blowout because we were operating on fumes. Moreover, things needed to change. Full stop. I had a serious problem with sexlessness and I didn't much care how it got solved, but it would be.
I started (platonically, with intent for more) dating off and on (mostly off) using OKcupid, and during an "off" spell, she asked if I was dating again. I told her I planned to resume in two months. The question was a signal of jealousy to me. She started seeing a therapist for an unrelated reason and she told the therapist about my dating (I was invited for the first session). The therapist acted stunned, but within two week
s, my wife was initiating (impartial third party backing me up, likely critical here). After a six month long, terrific "reset", we're now in a one month dry spell after a serious injury for her and a COVID exposure scare. COVID is also making dating exceptionally challenging, so a lack of outlet is allowing it to last this long.
So did jealousy work? Yeah, but it was the real deal. Not games. And as others have said, be comfortable with the idea that you've just started the timer on a nuke.
Thanks for sharing your experience. These are the kind of things I am interested in. I do understand the metaphor of "starting the timer on a nuke" and that is okay because sometimes that is the only way to let your spouse know how serious you are.
For me, making friends with a woman while you are married is difficult. Taking classes is the best way I have found and I plan on doing that again. If you don't make friends, at least you are learning something you enjoy. The problem I see is that women are suspicious of married men (sometimes with good reason) and that makes it more challenging.
It is funny that you mention rentafriend. I was told that someone that used to work in my office "rents herself out" on that site. I had never heard of it before that. I don't think I could ever get used to the idea of paying someone to be your friend. Something about that just doesn't seem right. I would much rather try something else.
For someone in a sexless marriage, paying for a lap dance at a strip club seems like a better use of your money. That thought never crossed my mind when my wife and I were intimate. But a lack of intimacy makes you think differently.
