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Post by theexplorer on Mar 3, 2020 19:08:07 GMT -5
I've been wondering if sex is a basic human need. In other words, do we need sex like we need air, water, food, shelter, etc. I've read various, conflicting opinions on the matter. Is our basic human need for sex; for love; for touch or for something else?
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Post by Handy on Mar 3, 2020 20:25:44 GMT -5
Maybe most people need to feel connected to something or someone or some group. For me, having sex deepens that connection.
I can do many things on my own but every so often the sex and intimate connection smooths over some rough spots that develop when there was no sex or connections. Sex just seems to be an ingredient in life that makes life better like maybe a little salt improves the flavor of most foods.
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Post by baza on Mar 3, 2020 23:40:19 GMT -5
I've been wondering if sex is a basic human need. In other words, do we need sex like we need air, water, food, shelter, etc. I've read various, conflicting opinions on the matter. Is our basic human need for sex; for love; for touch or for something else? Personal opinion, no it isn't. Absence of sex won't kill you whereas the absence of air, water, food & shelter will kill you. Of course absence of sex would also produce some really screwed up people. |
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Post by hopingforachange on Mar 4, 2020 17:16:44 GMT -5
For survival of the individual, no. For survival of the species yes.
Sex, intimacy, bonding etc is included in Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
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Post by Handy on Mar 4, 2020 23:10:10 GMT -5
My alternative questions are:
1. "How many people would marry if sex was totally off the table?"
2. "How many people would marry if sex only happened to to get pregnant, then no sex from then on or until the next kid was wanted?"
To me that answers the question, is sex a human need?
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Post by carl on Mar 6, 2020 1:46:36 GMT -5
I am going to say no. Absolutely not. Sex just a few times would be enough to sustain a population. Some other animal species don’t have sex much either.
The reason I say this to people in a sexless marriage is this. Getting yourself into a state over lack of sex may well just deepen your situation. And trust me I’ve been so very low at times. But why punish yourself twice. First by missing sex and again by feeling you are going against nature. For me anyway I find it helps to just accept that I am not getting any sex, go to the gym and workout hard instead, and get on with my f*****g life. I’ll have sex again one day but I am not counting the days anymore. (my maths ain’t that good)
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Post by h on Mar 6, 2020 8:17:24 GMT -5
Follow up question: Is mental health a basic human need? Because I know a lot of people, present company included, who have spent years of their lives depressed, anxious and craving/begging for death, but too stubborn to commit suicide. We just keep on living as if sanity is unnecessary for survival. I don't think "living" is the same thing as survival. I think it's entirely possible to survive without mental health, but it's not anything even close to a "life." I survived for over a decade by just switching off my feelings and refusing to think about them. I immersed myself in routine. Wake up, go to work, come home, cook dinner, eat while watching TV, go to bed, repeat. |
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Post by DryCreek on Mar 6, 2020 10:05:05 GMT -5
Echoing what h said... There’s surviving, then there’s thriving. It’s a question of where one chooses to draw the line on “need”. It could be argued that one can survive without good nutrition, health care, education, transportation, and many other things that we consider essential to an acceptable quality of life in western society. It’s been shown that basic compassion and human touch are essential to good mental/emotional health. So is intimacy necessary for personal survival? No. Does it influence the quality of life (and implicitly, longevity)? I’d say yes. |
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Post by baza on Mar 6, 2020 16:56:22 GMT -5
Taking this group (of 1,587 members currently) as being representative, it would seem that most relationships in here are situations where there is a paucity of sex happening. Yet, the members here in such situations seem to bumble along ok, holding down jobs, paying their bills and taxes, and generally being good citizens. Sure, they may bitch about their situations, but generally they stay in their sexless situations and don't regard the lack of sex as a dealbreaker. The evidence indicates that the lack of sex IS important ... but not important enough to make any great revisions to ones life. I'd argue that on that basis, that the lack of sex is not that vital for most of the membership. It may well be worth bitching about, but not worth taking action over. |
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Post by fish on Mar 7, 2020 7:44:08 GMT -5
A human need no I don’t think so, but I can testify without it I am not human!
physically,
I don’t need it to survive physicaly but mentally especially, yes I need it
let me explain, without sex, I have no sense no humor, very uptight and every little thing makes me mad, I can’t sleep because sex or the need constantly is on my mind,
in my case, through sex I get intimacy, with my wife, that to me is the glue that holds us together, through intimacy, the desire for her is satisfied,
make sense to anyone?,
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Post by carl on Mar 9, 2020 16:09:01 GMT -5
A human need no I don’t think so, but I can testify without it I am not human! physically, I don’t need it to survive physicaly but mentally especially, yes I need it let me explain, without sex, I have no sense no humor, very uptight and every little thing makes me mad, I can’t sleep because sex or the need constantly is on my mind, in my case, through sex I get intimacy, with my wife, that to me is the glue that holds us together, through intimacy, the desire for her is satisfied, make sense to anyone?, If lack of sex leads to depression or other mental health problems then sex is a basic human need. Mental well being is a basic human need. I think that some of it is the worry that lack of sex produces and the lack of freedom to search for another sexual partner rather than the sexlessness itself. But certainly in my opinion not having sex for no reason of your own and not being free is damaging. |
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Post by mirrororchid on Mar 16, 2020 5:44:21 GMT -5
For survival of the individual, no. For survival of the species yes. Sex, intimacy, bonding etc is included in Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Good call, h4c! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs#Ranking_of_sexThe concept of the hierarchy is that you take care of the lower needs before the higher ones. Maslow put sex in the lowest category of Physical. The second one is safety. How many sexless men would take grave chances with their lives or health if it meant landing a reliable sex partner? I dare say not a few. There's substantial reporting about obsession with sex and I'd wager it crowds out the top layers of the hierarchy to a great degree. If sex isn't a need, I suppose those that claim such a thing would deny there's a need for self-actualization and Esteem. Unless they might wish to claim esteem on our behalf even if we don't think we feel it. "You've got a successful career, 2.5 beautiful, smart, happy children, and a devoted spouse of 10,20,30 years. Of course you have esteem!" Tada! Problem solved! |
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Post by tamara68 on Mar 19, 2020 10:12:03 GMT -5
Sex maybe not essential, but touch - a basic form of intimacy -is.
Research has shown that babies who are not touched enough (only get the necessary physical care), have a much bigger chance to die.
Touch is necessary, it produces physical responses in the body that strengthens the immune system and feeling of wellness.
Psychologically it helps to feel a connection - literally. Touch is a sensation that confirms one's own existence.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2020 17:20:01 GMT -5
Sure, I could live without. I don't want to however. I know touch is essential for humans to flourish, and I want to live life to the fullest. Emotionally intimacy + physically intimacy is my goal. Our emotional intimacy is there. Physical could use some work!
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Post by obobfla on Mar 21, 2020 12:13:35 GMT -5
Since I know some celibate people who are sane and content, the answer is no for me.
In fact, I an hesitant to say I need it, because that could mean I am addicted to it. I am addicted to alcohol. When I drank, I would drink anything that would get me drunk, whether it was aged whiskey or cheap beer. I am more discriminating with my sex partners. I savor the aged whiskey and pass on the cheap beers and wines.
However, sex is more important to me now that I am a widower. Sex reminds me that I am still very much alive and my body still works.
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