Is Sex a Basic Human Need?

It depends on the person but it is the only thing that appears on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs TWICE!

I've been wondering if sex is a basic human need.  In other words, do we need sex like we need air, water, food, shelter, etc. I've read various, conflicting opinions on the matter.  Is our basic human need for sex; for love; for touch or for something else?

I would argue that sex being a basic human need is subjective. For the creation of life, yes, obviously sex is required to propagate the human race unless you are going to artificially inseminate everyone, in which case you are starting to get into science fiction plot lines. The question of whether sex is a basic human need required to have a completely loving, productive and fruitful marriage or even an a happy and productive existence is truly dependent on the individual or individuals involved.

I believe two people could be completely happy in a marriage not having sex if there is emotional intimacy and they both decide sex doesn't do anything for either of them or if they aren't capable of sexual intimacy due to illness, physical limitations, etc. However, everyone is certainly not wired this way which is where the problem arises. When sex is important to one partner but not the other or the other partner is unwilling or unable to engage in sexual activity or meet their partner's needs in the middle, significant rifts can open in relationships. Anger and animosity can arise when one partner values sexual intimacy and the other turns away from it which causes further damage in the relationship. Before you know it, it's been weeks, months or years since you last had sex with your partner and the feelings arise that a lot of us have that we are "stuck" in a sexless marriage where our partner doesn't seem to care about our needs.

Personally I believe sexual intimacy is very important is sustaining happiness and physical and emotional health, but we can truly exist and be happy without sex for periods of time. Just look at adolescence. When we were all young, we weren't out running around having sex. Many of us lived 15-20 years before engaging in sexual intimacy and were perfectly happy doing so, but many of us probably began to get frustrated by these feelings and desires we were having without an outlet for them other than masterbation. While "taking care of your own business" certainly meets some sexual needs, it doesn't replace the touch of another human being, feeling desired by someone, or the emotional caring that often goes into a relationship with your partner. The loss of that is what a lot of us are lamenting in our sexless marriages.

So in my case, yes, a good sexual relationship is important to my long-term health and the health of my marriage and I would consider it a basic human need to flourish and prosper in life, however I also believe some people are perfectly fine without sex.



I am no expert and do not have a degree in psychology but when my wife stopped being intimate with me years ago I stopped feeling loved, even though she continued to do other things for me (which she feels shows she loves me but I do not). I have done a fair amount of reading on the subject (books, articles, etc.) and the ones that resonate with me are the ones that say that physical intimacy is a man's number one emotional need and that a man knows his wife, girlfriend, etc., loves him when she shares her body with him. It resonates with me because that is the way I feel. I just cannot feel loved without it. It does not have to be actual sex for me but a desire to be close to me in a physical way. I agree that it may be subjective because I don't know that everyone feels that way. I believe that most men feel this way, however. As far as women, I have heard that physical intimacy is not their number one emotional need. That is simply what I have read. My wife has medical issues that she says would make physical intimacy painful. I believe her but her emotional withdrawal from me started before her medical issues. Sex may not be a need but love is and I cannot feel love from a woman without physical intimacy.