|
Post by elynne on Oct 4, 2019 16:49:31 GMT -5
deadzone75 it is an interesting theory. My h was really thin when we dated and married. Recall we did not have sex with each other before marriage. After we got married he started gaining weight right away. Pics from the end of the first year are unbelievable when compared with wedding pics. There are lots of types of eating disorders and complicated ways body image is interwoven with so many other issues. My mother in law was morbidly obese and talked to me about how she felt safe inside her fat, like she was insulated from being hurt by others (read: men, read:sex as she lived a celibate life). It was not concsious but something she realized later in life when she tried to lose weight. Is it a surprise that my h started eating and gaining weight when he entered a sexual relationship? I think not. Either way it does not change anything. Nor does it change your correct assertion that he does not love me in any way I need to be loved. He simply does not, cannot, and will not. I know that. I am curious, though, about how many of our refusers use "body image" to avoid a sexual relationship. My ex stayed in good physical shape. He swam, ran, mountain biked, race biked. As the divorce neared he added push ups and sit ups to his daily routine. He was and still is an attractive man. He used criticism and hurtful words to prevent intimacy. He’s much too vain to get fat to push me away.
|
|