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Post by angeleyes65 on Apr 19, 2019 21:00:28 GMT -5
My current bf former AP also from a sexless marriage needed Viagra when we first met. Not sure if it was from being sexless for so long or the necessary do it himself sometimes with help from porn or performance anxiety .
After we were together awhile we occasionally didn't use it either the meet up was short or unplanned. Sometimes he was OK sometimes struggled. Now that he's been out awhile we never use it. He never has issues and quality of erections are good even late at night. Wondering how many others discovered they had issues when they got to have sex again. And problem resolved after they were away from the situation longer?
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Post by baza on Apr 19, 2019 22:34:51 GMT -5
That pretty much was my experience.
My first turn at bat after 5 years went well as far as getting and maintaining a rod.
But for the life of me I couldn't shoot.
Next attempt, a couple of hours later, same thing. It wasn't worrying me too much as I was having a great time, and Ms enna sure seemed to be as well.
Next attempt, it felt like I blew a bucketful.
Anyway. Still happens that sometimes I can't shoot even now quite a few years later, but it's not a big deal. Catch up next time.
I do have pharmaceuticals I use sometimes (if we are having a 'planned" root)
So - did I have issues post sm ? - yes - but they were not showstoppers.
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Post by Handy on Apr 19, 2019 22:37:02 GMT -5
angeleyes65, I guess am sort like your BF. The reason for me is if my W doesn't want to have sex with me, I feel like I am/was imposing. I felt unwanted sometimes. Feeling unwanted is an erection killer.
Now if a woman wants me to fuck her, to me that brings a whole erotic flavor to the sex (I am guessing for now because I do not currently have a FWB).
Some things that kill sex drive (boner) for me:
Major relationship issues.
Major financial problems.
Taxes due today and I don't have the paper work finished so I just file an extension and send in a BIG check and hope I don't have to pay a penalty or more tax.
Major medical emergency in the family that might lead to long term serious issues.
In the case you provided, I totally can see a man not needing Viagra if the female partner welcomes his sexual advances and needing Viagra if he has been in a previous sex negative relationship and it is messing with his mind. One reason, even though you are sex positive, your BF at first might have feared he might be back in a sex negative relationship fairly soon after the honeymoon /limerance phase was over.
I read a couple's forum where both people were married 10+ years to sex negative spouses, they both got divorced, met each other, had sex like wild monkeys at first but feared the sex would later disappear. They are now married 12 years and still have that nagging feeling something might go wrong sexually and be back in a SM. They do something sexual everyday for the past 12 years.
Fortunately it appears as if your BF has gotten over the idea sex might fade.
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Post by northstarmom on Apr 19, 2019 22:44:54 GMT -5
angeleyes65, how old is your boyfriend? When I was divorcing at age 60, women friends in their 60s let me know to expect men in their 50s and 60s to have ED sometimes and to use Viagra or Cialis due to normal aging. Before we had sex for the first time, post SM partner told me he uses the blue pill. Still, he sometimes has ED, but that doesn't prevent our having fun...
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Post by Handy on Apr 19, 2019 22:55:02 GMT -5
I have a question for the women. There are erections and there are erections just before a guy cums. Do any women consider the erections after a guy cums as ED IF he is still fairly firm?
Some guys go totally flat after they cum and some guys still are fairly firm or firm enough to go in and out for a while.
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Post by northstarmom on Apr 20, 2019 4:09:35 GMT -5
Handy, I think you are talking about Premature Ejaculatuon, not ED.
If the guy is inside me and comes early but stays firm and keeps stroking, while he has ED, I wouldn’t care. I wouldn’t be left hanging.’l
If he comes unplanned before intercourse that would be a problem unless he chose to insert and move. If he comes early then just rolls over and snores that would be infuriating.
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Post by shamwow on Apr 20, 2019 5:36:21 GMT -5
I subsided on a diet of porn and quick and aggressive jerks in the bathroom for two decades. I had to be quick, you see, lest anyone become suspicious as to what I was doing in there. My first time with ballofconfusion I got an erection no problem. But it had been so long since I'd had sex with a partner that I quickly lost my erection. I'd been conditioned to need really, really intense uh stimulation of a kind that just can't happen with a partner. I got a prescription as a security blanket and the issue largely went away. I still use the pills though, because to be honest with you they are pretty damn fun, and after we've been goihg at it for days I can use a little boost from time to time. |
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Post by ironhamster on Apr 20, 2019 6:40:00 GMT -5
My situation is getting better, one year out. I also keep viagra and cialis handy, and I have made several adjustments to my exercise and diet, trying to figure out if I can be reliable pill free. I can't nail down much that has helped, because my problems are intermittent and there are a lot of variables.
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Post by hopingforachange on Apr 20, 2019 7:32:52 GMT -5
Penises are fickle things that require the other head to not have any doubts. Of there are any in the upper head, then the lower head doesn't work.
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Post by angeleyes65 on Apr 20, 2019 8:38:15 GMT -5
angeleyes65, how old is your boyfriend? When I was divorcing at age 60, women friends in their 60s let me know to expect men in their 50s and 60s to have ED sometimes and to use Viagra or Cialis due to normal aging. Before we had sex for the first time, post SM partner told me he uses the blue pill. Still, he sometimes has ED, but that doesn't prevent our having fun... He's 57 almost 58 he was 50 when we met |
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Post by angeleyes65 on Apr 20, 2019 8:46:18 GMT -5
I subsided on a diet of porn and quick and aggressive jerks in the bathroom for two decades. I had to be quick, you see, lest anyone become suspicious as to what I was doing in there. My first time with ballofconfusion I got an erection no problem. But it had been so long since I'd had sex with a partner that I quickly lost my erection. I'd been conditioned to need really, really intense uh stimulation of a kind that just can't happen with a partner. I got a prescription as a security blanket and the issue largely went away. I still use the pills though, because to be honest with you they are pretty damn fun, and after we've been goihg at it for days I can use a little boost from time to time. Yeah after we were together a few years I told him he might not need them . He said we don't get a lot of days together don't want to risk wasting time. Plus we would gap 3 to 4 times in the 4-6 hours we had together lol. And I'm not knocking the blue pill its a great thing. When we moved in together I was thinking spontaneous sex would be hit or miss and I hate to make him feel bad. But we had a couple of hit or miss and then no problems . I feel life the lack of sex and rejection played a part in his issues and now that he's been away from that it has resolved. Yes we still use them to play on a free day once in awhile and stay in bed all day lol |
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 20, 2019 9:04:54 GMT -5
It would be a rare male who did not experience some aspect of ED at some point in his sexual life. I remember it happening once when I was in my mid 20's. Pretty scary!! Fortunately I never had an issue again until my mid 60's.
Soon after our marriage we began building a house, very stressful and time consuming for both of us. Sex fell away to virtually zero during this period, but I attributed it to the trials and tribulations of construction. After the house was finished I noted we still weren't doing anything and I realized I wasn't initiating, I had little desire. I saw my doc and learned my free testosterone was very low. So I got myself some T and a short time later my libido came roaring back. Unfortunately not so for my W. She still wasn't interested. Her putting me off and constantly refusing eventually had the effect of making a quality erection problematic. So I found a good Canadian pharmacy(Thank you Canada) where I could purchase Viagra or Cialis for about 1/4 of what it costs in the US.
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Post by flashjohn on Apr 29, 2019 16:26:04 GMT -5
My refuser had me convinced that I had ED during my sexless nightmare marriage. My health plan at the time covered Viagra, so I got some. I used it a lot while outsourcing, and it was very effective. After moving out, I found out that my testosterone was low, so I got on testosterone pellets. Now, I have no problems at all.
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Post by deadzone75 on Jun 3, 2019 12:01:12 GMT -5
For the 3 times a year I have sex, I have a hard time getting an erection until the W starts giving me a blowjob to prime me. It's all mental; all I can think about from foreplay to finish is how long I have to go until next time. It's to the point I don't even enjoy the moment for that reason alone, never mind if she's into it or not. I never have any issues getting myself off or waking up hard, etc. Once you get that negative shit in your head, man, it will fuck you up.
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 3, 2019 14:18:28 GMT -5
Dead zone, how old are you? As men age, most need direct stimulation to get hard. They also may need Viagra, etc.
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