My life looks perfect on facebook!

Only my closest friends know the truth about my marriage. To everyone else my life looks perfect!  We've been married for 12 yrs and dated for 4 yrs prior to getting married. I first noticed something was wrong on our honeymoon...I had to bring up the fact that we had been at the resort for 3 days and haven't had sex. I think he would have been fine with skipping it all together! For the first part of our marriage I was the one who mainly initiated sex. I'm a very touchy, feely, type of person. I would go up behind him and hug him, grab his ass, straddle him on the couch, whatever I could think of to get him in the mood. He'd almost never respond. He was always busy playing on the computer or watching tv.  After about 5 years of this, I gave up. We would have sex a couple of times a year and that was it.  I've asked him to see a dr about his lack of desire, but he says there's nothing wrong with him physically. I gues that's true because I found porn sites on his cell phones browser history. He was a nice guy when I met him, but has turned into an egotistical and very cruel man with age. He is good at his job and this doesn't help with his ego. His workers run around all day bowing down to his greatness and kissing his a** or so I think anyway.  He travels quite a bit for work and at times doesn't call to check in and see if we are ok. I would expect him to do so since we are in a new city!  He recently took a 4 hour work related road trip alone with a female coworker that he tried to hide from me. I found out that she was going with him through converstaion. He didn't bother to call me when he arrived like he usually does. I had to call him the next day to see if he was alive. Said he was too busy to call and by the time he got back to the room it was late and didn't want to wake me. So he couldn't text me during dinner before it was too late?  Jerk. Here I am stuck in a new city with no friends and he is out partying with his workers & traveling around the world.  Nice.  He says he is faithful to me, he has never cheated and that I am over reacting. Maybe if he showed some interest in me I wouldn't act this way. I get hit on here and there so I know I am not that unattractive. I was at a gas station recently and a man walks up to my car and says in the most sexy sultry voice I've ever heard....I love your car. I look up and the face matched the voice! Very sexy, well dressed and good looking! He stood there and talked to me for a few minutes about his son who is in college, the area and things to do since I am new in town, etc. I am very shy so I didn't act on it and he left. He must have thought my shyness meant I wasn't interested. I was! I saw him a couple of days later while I was driving and he was getting out of his car. I stopped my car in the middle of the road and thought about parking and going to talk to him. But didn't ... not sure if it's because I am shy or think it's wrong because he is married too.  Maybe it's because I have zero self confidence anymore. He has destroyed that with years of negative comments and a SM. I know I shouldn't believe his cruel comments, but after years of hearing it anyone would start to believe it. My old boss knows what a jerk he is and has promised to hire me back if I ever decide to leave.  I worked for one of the best in my field! We had celebrity clients, big name sports players, politicians, etc came to us and he always made sure that those famous clients were given to me. No, I am not an escort but work in the medical field, lol. I made a lot of money and was one of the best in my field thanks to this man and all the time he spent training me. This bothered my husband. How could his wife be so successful? Well he took all that away from me. He now makes more than I ever could with my degree and is the bread winner. Just how he likes it. He's taken away my career, confidence and withholds sex. If I leave I know I wil be happy eventually, but I will give up an easy life financially.  He is 5 yrs younger than me and working his way to the top of his company. No doubt he will run the show one day and make millions.  Do I find someone on the side so that I can enjoy the financial benefits? I know a lot of women that do. They find happiness outside of the marriage because they don't want to leave for their kids sake or money.  Life is so complicated! If he would just treat me with some kindness and respect this wouldn't even cross my mind, but I am done trying. I am tired of trying. It shouldn't be this hard to get him to be nice to me and sleep with me!

Thanks for reading. Sorry it was long.