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Post by baza on Oct 4, 2018 0:21:09 GMT -5
I put a poll up about the cost of divorce an hour or so ago.
See what you think of this - my particular deal.
Over the years my missus and I accrued assets like cash, share portfolio, superannuation, house etc etc etc.
When we were divorced (it's a no fault jurisdiction) there was 100% to split up.
I got 38%, she got 62%.
Now I could make a dramatic statement saying - "my divorce cost me 62% of the nett assets" - and, I am pretty sure the members here would say "you got dudded baz".
But the truth is, I was only ever entitled under the law to 50% of the divisible assets - as was my missus - so in reality, the divorce cost me 12% of the divisible assets (the difference between what I could have got - 50% - and what I settled for - 38%)
In the interests of getting the thing done, rather than fighting for my full 50% through the courts, and in the interests of the ongoing relationship with my ex missus / co-parent that 12% was well worth it.
And 8 years of paddling my own financial canoe since, has restored my financial health, and then some.
The financial cost of my divorce is nowadays a distant memory, one I rarely think about.
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Post by twotimesone on Oct 4, 2018 13:26:25 GMT -5
That sucks. I'm curious. Does your wife work? If so, I assume that you made significantly more than her?
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Post by baza on Oct 4, 2018 18:54:50 GMT -5
Was that directed at me Brother twotimesone ? If so...... No, my missus was not working the last 5 years or so of our deal. And the last 5 years I wasn't working much either. We had already made a pile of money in our professional careers. Just for something to do I worked part time as a grocery delivery bloke, about 3 half days a week. Any way, as it turned out.... I left in 2009 with a 38/62 split. She died suddenly and unexpectedly in 2015. She left everything she had to our two kids. So one way or another, you could say the accrued assets sort of 'stayed in the family'. But like I've said above, I ended up with "enough" money to do what I wanted, and I was (and am) quite cool with that. Getting a further 12% would not have made me any happier. |
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Post by jim44444 on Oct 4, 2018 21:42:11 GMT -5
I have to say, mine was expensive, too. Kills me, and truly makes me wish I'd have left 15 years sooner than I did. I'll never be able to get those years back! In the end though, freedom was, and still is, worth the cost!!!! If I remember correctly you had a bunch of rental property that needed to be handled in the divorce. The nonliquid assets can become a heavy anchor in a divorce. The bankers and creditors do not care what is fair only what is profitable. I have not seen you here for awhile. |
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Post by itsmytime2be on Oct 4, 2018 22:31:11 GMT -5
No, I haven't been on in quite some time. I was actually deleting apps I no longer use, and decided to check in to see who happened to be still around.
Sold the house we lived in. He had to buy me out of all of the rental property, as well as the business. He had to pay for the rest of my daughter's college, and grad school(I demanded that, and held my ground, even though my attorney wasn't on board with that).
Always remember that they work for you, not the other way around! A good attorney will tell you the hard truths, as well as the good ones, as needed. Luckily for me, our mediator had previously practiced law with my attorney, and they are good friends. Both parties had to agree with the choice of mediator. The mediator hated my ex, after he first talked with him, and when he came back to talk with us, said he was an ass, and offered to best him up for me. 😂
I ended up with an even better settlement than my attorney had hoped I would, because after 8 hours of mediation, my ex was ready to just be done. I would've stayed all night, if needed, because I was fighting for my life, my future, and my daughter's, even though she was 21 when we finally finalized our ED! I refused to back down, even though legally, he wasn't responsible for her, I knew I couldn't afford to split her bills, and he would've put me in the street if he could have.
He immediately jumped into a new relationship right away(as narcissists tend to do), and re-married earlier this year. He continues to try to manipulate both my daughter, and I, but I ignore him as much as possible.
On a good note, my daughter graduated from college in May, and got married in June! I met the love of my life last December, and just bought my first home as a single woman, moved to a different part of the state, and have a brand new life, so I'm extremely happy! First time I've been able to say that since 1990! Such a waste of my precious life! I would definitely encourage anyone in our type of relationship to get the hell out! NOW!
I hope you're doing well, sweetie! You certainly deserve it! Hugs!
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Post by ironhamster on Oct 4, 2018 22:32:17 GMT -5
That sucks. I'm curious. Does your wife work? If so, I assume that you made significantly more than her? My wife worked a low wage job when we first got married. She wanted to go back to school so she could get a better job, so I paid her way through her Masters degree. She got pregnant her last year and wanted to be a stay at home mom. She never worked outside the home. She spent a lot of time on network marketing, but never could make that work. I gave her every opportunity she wanted, but, she never wanted to work. She had one job. Raise the kids. Homeschool mom. She failed at that, too. |
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Post by sadkat on Oct 5, 2018 14:54:40 GMT -5
No, I haven't been on in quite some time. I was actually deleting apps I no longer use, and decided to check in to see who happened to be still around. Sold the house we lived in. He had to buy me out of all of the rental property, as well as the business. He had to pay for the rest of my daughter's college, and grad school(I demanded that, and held my ground, even though my attorney wasn't on board with that). Always remember that they work for you, not the other way around! A good attorney will tell you the hard truths, as well as the good ones, as needed. Luckily for me, our mediator had previously practiced law with my attorney, and they are good friends. Both parties had to agree with the choice of mediator. The mediator hated my ex, after he first talked with him, and when he came back to talk with us, said he was an ass, and offered to best him up for me. 😂 I ended up with an even better settlement than my attorney had hoped I would, because after 8 hours of mediation, my ex was ready to just be done. I would've stayed all night, if needed, because I was fighting for my life, my future, and my daughter's, even though she was 21 when we finally finalized our ED! I refused to back down, even though legally, he wasn't responsible for her, I knew I couldn't afford to split her bills, and he would've put me in the street if he could have. He immediately jumped into a new relationship right away(as narcissists tend to do), and re-married earlier this year. He continues to try to manipulate both my daughter, and I, but I ignore him as much as possible. On a good note, my daughter graduated from college in May, and got married in June! I met the love of my life last December, and just bought my first home as a single woman, moved to a different part of the state, and have a brand new life, so I'm extremely happy! First time I've been able to say that since 1990! Such a waste of my precious life! I would definitely encourage anyone in our type of relationship to get the hell out! NOW! I hope you're doing well, sweetie! You certainly deserve it! Hugs! Love these success stories! Good for you! |
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