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Post by SoloSenior on May 21, 2016 1:08:45 GMT -5
In my late 40s, with wife 18 months younger, I began reading up on Menopause.
Had a fair idea on what to expect, the irregular periods and the gradual disappearance of same, the hot flushes, and so on. It all went to plan until the last period was past by about 12 months, at her age of 51 or 52. I was then about 53.
I first noticed a slight lack of her usual strong enthusiasm, and that descended into a lifeless act not unlike what I would image fucking a blow up doll would be like. All i was doing was getting my rocks off, and using her pussy to do it.
I knew from all my reading that this was NOT her fault, it was Mother Nature at work. Ovaries shut down, hormones stop, libido stops, sex stops. We talked about HRT, but wife had a very strong fear of it because of family tendency to breast cancer. I could not possibly suggest such a risk. We talked some more and after yet another unsatisfactory episode wife said, "I do not want to do this anymore, I get nothing from it and I do not desire it like I used to".
My response was that i would not impose myself on her, if i could masturbate as often as I needed, where and when i needed. We agreed and the deal has worked well for a bit over 23 years. I am content. I am near to certain that MOST men over the age of about 55 or so are in the same situation as I am, and most end up 'handling' the problem like I do, watch porn on my computer, get aroused, and pull myself off, usually with edging for maybe an hour.
I cannot understand the horrible situation of a young healthy spouse being denied full sexual release. Those people have my greatest sympathy.
Comments welcome.
SS
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Post by baza on May 21, 2016 2:00:22 GMT -5
"We agreed and the deal has worked well for a bit over 23 years. I am content"
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It reads like you have pulled off the hardest option of them all.
Accepting the situation without resentment, the "without resentment" part being the key.
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Post by worksforme2 on May 21, 2016 7:30:27 GMT -5
We talked some more and after yet another unsatisfactory episode wife said, "I do not want to do this anymore, I get nothing from it and I do not desire it like I used to". My response was that i would not impose myself on her, if i could masturbate as often as I needed, where and when i needed. We agreed and the deal has worked well for a bit over 23 years. I am content. I am near to certain that MOST men over the age of about 55 or so are in the same situation as I am, and most end up 'handling' the problem like I do, watch porn on my computer, get aroused, and pull myself off, usually with edging for maybe an hour. Comments welcome. SS My X said basically the same to me. "Women do not need or want sex after a certain age and if I never have to do it again that's fine with me". End of intimacy. If research studies and statistics mean anything you are correct when you state most men over the age of 55 find themselves in this situation. I can understand the loss of libido and I understand the fear of HRT. But what I don't understand is your W's imposition of celibacy in the marriage. Was she unwilling to take care of you in other ways than PIV? Surely approaching the simple act of sex from an oral, anal or manual means occurred to one or both of you. Did you rally consider the desire to be intimate with your W as an imposition? |
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Post by SoloSenior on May 21, 2016 12:41:38 GMT -5
baza,
I have long considered myself lucky that wife is as understanding and supportive as she is. I still miss sex but not to any disrupting degree, that causes me any resentment.
I masturbate as needed, and make no effort to hide what I intend to do, sometimes even having a fondle and say that I will be at the computer fo awhile. She just smiles.
There is NO lack of feeling and closeness to wife, and I am her carer which I do without any bad feelings.
SS
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Post by SoloSenior on May 21, 2016 12:53:55 GMT -5
worksforme2,
Four kids and the past 75 years have not been kind to wife, over the past 10 or 15 years she has gone downhill a lot. To put it bluntly she is no longer sexually attractive and has not been for close to 20 years. In fact no female over the age of 50 arouses me, even though she may be on HRT and as randy as hell.
With the loss of all libido, went the loss of ANY interest in sexual activity such as hand jobs or blow jobs. Asking would only mean that she has gritted her teeth and put aside that lack of interest just for me. Her lack of interest kills my wish for the acts. It is so much simpler to watch porn and masturbate.
The men I feel sorry for are the ones that have to sneak around hiding what they MUST do.
SS
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2016 13:39:05 GMT -5
worksforme2, Four kids and the past 75 years have not been kind to wife, over the past 10 or 15 years she has gone downhill a lot. To put it bluntly she is no longer sexually attractive and has not been for close to 20 years. In fact no female over the age of 50 arouses me, even though she may be on HRT and as randy as hell. With the loss of all libido, went the loss of ANY interest in sexual activity such as hand jobs or blow jobs. Asking would only mean that she has gritted her teeth and put aside that lack of interest just for me. Her lack of interest kills my wish for the acts. It is so much simpler to watch porn and masturbate. The men I feel sorry for are the ones that have to sneak around hiding what they MUST do. SS Does this rub anyone else the wrong way? This shit is going to drive me straight out of this forum. Enjoy your " I hate women my age (and even far younger than my saggy 70-something ass) jack-off party" (I am not your age, but your attitude is repulsive). |
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Post by SoloSenior on May 21, 2016 14:09:25 GMT -5
You are reading much more into my post than is intended.
I am most certainly NOT blaming wife of any of this situation, and your accusation is unfair.
SS
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2016 14:33:42 GMT -5
SoloSenior , I give you a lot of credit for working out an honest and fair deal, which you both kept. My suspicion is that you and your wife have a great emotional connection to begin with, and that you are both kind, decent people, and therefore, the lack of sexual intimacy is not a deal breaker. I think what many of us here are dealing with is a lack of sexual intimacy as a symptom of emotional disconnect. I think it's a different ballgame. And, from what I have read, many on here describe being verbally and emotionally abused by their spouses. Hard to make a fair deal with that kind of a person. Kudos to you and your wife for finding a way to preserve the sanctity of your marriage.
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Post by SoloSenior on May 21, 2016 14:43:44 GMT -5
If that is so I withdraw my remarks. But the post has a quotation of MY post!
I read that as personal criticism.
Hell, we still hold hands when we go out in public! (Have done for nearly 60 years)
SS
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2016 15:21:15 GMT -5
If that is so I withdraw my remarks. But the post has a quotation of MY post! I read that as personal criticism. Hell, we still hold hands when we go out in public! (Have done for nearly 60 years) SS Never mind, I'm confused as well now... Let's just keep the peace. |
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Post by lwoetin on May 21, 2016 20:00:17 GMT -5
In my late 40s, with wife 18 months younger, I began reading up on Menopause. Had a fair idea on what to expect, the irregular periods and the gradual disappearance of same, the hot flushes, and so on. It all went to plan until the last period was past by about 12 months, at her age of 51 or 52. I was then about 53. I first noticed a slight lack of her usual strong enthusiasm, and that descended into a lifeless act not unlike what I would image fucking a blow up doll would be like. All i was doing was getting my rocks off, and using her pussy to do it. I knew from all my reading that this was NOT her fault, it was Mother Nature at work. Ovaries shut down, hormones stop, libido stops, sex stops. We talked about HRT, but wife had a very strong fear of it because of family tendency to breast cancer. I could not possibly suggest such a risk. Comments welcome. SS My wife warns me about menopause so I may be dealing with it in not so distant future. |
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omixochitl
Junior Member
“They should tell you when you’re born: have a suitcase heart, be ready to travel.” ― Gabrielle Zevi
Posts: 27 
Age Range: 61-65
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Post by omixochitl on May 21, 2016 20:32:04 GMT -5
Sorry, but you all need to do some SERIOUS research. Many women. myself included, still have a strong and healthy libido post menopause.
in my case, 11 years post menopause.
Why do you think they make and market Estrace and Premarin vaginal cream?
I am deeply saddened by the misinformation and ageism and sexism presented in this thread.
I am 5'7", 135 fit pounds and have the stamina and energy of many 40 somethings.
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Post by lwoetin on May 21, 2016 20:36:32 GMT -5
My response was that i would not impose myself on her, if i could masturbate as often as I needed, where and when i needed. We agreed and the deal has worked well for a bit over 23 years. I am content. I am near to certain that MOST men over the age of about 55 or so are in the same situation as I am, and most end up 'handling' the problem like I do, watch porn on my computer, get aroused, and pull myself off, usually with edging for maybe an hour. 23 years is a long time. What kept you from seeking sex outside of marriage? |
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Post by SoloSenior on May 21, 2016 20:48:25 GMT -5
The fact that IF wife did that to me I would be deeply hurt.
Therefore i would not do that to her!
QED
SS
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Post by unmatched on May 21, 2016 21:00:34 GMT -5
You are reading much more into my post than is intended. I am most certainly NOT blaming wife of any of this situation, and your accusation is unfair. SS I don't think deleted thought you were blaming your wife, I think she was angry about you feeling that no women over 50 are sexually arousing. I suspect I might feel the same way if somebody said that all 50 year old men are over the hill. |
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