How I planned this summer

P.S. a little accountability here, I am doing very well at my detachment so far, taking each day one at a time. He is constantly emotionally resetting, he truly can't believe that I am not fighting anymore. he is pretending that everything is the same. I am really discovering what being the refuser feels like. It's a form of power that is sickening and primitive and dead. And I definitely am not attached to that, it just can't help but be noticed when you are actually refusing somebody. It's very much against my nature and grain.

Uh NOOOOOO

I planned this all, before my tipping point was reached about one week ago. I wasn't detached when I did all of this planning. 3rd wheel guy, is a good friend. I would NEVER change that definition into lover. and it's not a campsite. It's a rural property that our friend owns.

I guess I was just trying to point out how deluded I have been. Sadly...

It's OK, omixochitl, I've been deluded too.  

Your trip sounds RIGHT up my alley!  Glamping?  Check!  Seclusion? Check!  Off the grid?  Check!

And since it's already planned, enjoy it.  If anything, I'm thinking it might provide a nice challenge in which to test your newfound detachment.  Nothing like isolating with a bastard to test the waters  (oh dear, I'm not trying to presume - just trying to unleash the inner bitch in me and yeah, projecting my bastard onto your life, hahaha).

Go as roommates.  Sounds like close quarters might prevent intimacy anyway.  Make it a romantic getaway for you, yourself, and you.  Connect with yourself, connect with nature, enjoy the water element - so sensual, stare at the night sky and lose yourself in the universe.  Fuck the bastard (or don't, yeah - that).

Pardon my French today.  It gets the best of me sometimes.  

@elle you truly "get it". Thank you.

I very much understand it being against your nature and grain. Your words that it's a form of power, that it's sickening, primitive and a dead feeling. I don't think I could do it, I just don't. Not necessarily sexually refusing, but the concept of having a detached, an almost contemptuous view of someone. It has to be a very foreign feeling to you. 

Girl, I feel your pain.  Wish neither one of us was in this crappy old boat though.

I have never done the glamping thing, but I have incredible experiences and fond memories of wilderness escape all over Michigan Upper Peninsula. I am in love with Lake Superior and have footprints dissolved all over Isle Royale. I don't know if nowadays I could carry 60 pounds for a week, and my expedition partner is gone.

Important to me was pointed out by @elle to become one with your surroundings. I want to see nothing but trees, lakes, animals. I want to hear nothing but leaves, birds, waves. On trips alone for a week this was easy. With my friend it was also easy, we were both 'alone' but someone was nearby, this being essential safety-wise on island. Enough goosebumps.

This becomes difficult in your plan. While complete silence may not be your thing, you will be in a difficult situation because hubby will be there. I have learned some of your story, enough to know there is tension. What can happen often on a vacation is it is expected to be perfect, and the answer to all of your problems. This does not happen, never ever, wherever you go, there you are. And so is he. Add to this that familiarity breeds contempt. I know I'm painting a dismal picture, but if some things are put into it, everything could actually be rather enjoyable.

I would suggest for one, the obvious for anyone spending time outside, expect rain. This is where your huge tent and deck of cards come in. Have lots of backup plans in case original plans cannot work. I would keep myself somewhat detached, word being used often, so that you can benefit and immerse yourself in your surroundings, and have a pleasurable experience with your environment. As @smartkat says: I would not expect that futon to be messed up with a night of hot sex. Rather it will be a different bed for you for a few nights, you appreciate your own upon arrival home. Stranger things have happened, sometimes a different scene promotes the futon festivity. But I would get in there expecting a good night sleep. If not, it's a sudden surprise.

Depending on your method of vacation, I find it best to have somewhat of a plan for the day. Deciding what to do at the moment usually does not work out. In this case if there are two strong desires to do different things, here comes the argument. I am not sure how the third wheel guy fits in, except thank goodness you have ruled him out as a futon frolic participant. Quite enough rambling for now. But go into it knowing you will have fun with your room mate, you are more likely to.