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Post by shamwow on Jan 9, 2018 9:42:33 GMT -5
Phew. Thanks, everyone. I was thinking I was going to come in here and delete my post and disappear forever because I must seem so flaky and actually a lot like my mother.... the restlessness. I don't blame my restlessness on others, though, I think that is the difference between her and I. Great thoughts and insights here. Thank you SO much! And, shamwow -- you forget, I live in a very snowy state. I AM DYING to go for a ride!!! lol I was looking at leather chaps and jackets last night. I told my husband I need chaps... he readily agreed and he wants some, too, to which got me excited because I already love his ass... put him in a pair of chaps and... Yowza!!! So -- I guess with one conversation about chaps and leather and some day dreaming of upcoming bike rides I feel more alive again. The motorcycle thing definitely keeps things exciting for us, I think. We also planked together last night (his chiro wants him to do it every day), I did it just to encourage him - turned into a type of competition that ended in laughter. Doing yoga myself every day is helping, too. I guess I feel silly for sharing my momentary feelings, it was not the end of the world. Also, yesterday was Monday, first long week of a few weeks of short work days, celebrations galore. I need to learn how to rest into dull days like that and not freak out that something is amiss with me or my life. Okay. Thanks again for letting this woman ramble on and on with her thoughts. Oh, I didn't forget about where you live at all. Two wheels at night on snow and ice? If you want excitement I think that's got you covered... 😁 |
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Post by WindSister on Jan 9, 2018 10:29:10 GMT -5
Phew. Thanks, everyone. I was thinking I was going to come in here and delete my post and disappear forever because I must seem so flaky and actually a lot like my mother.... the restlessness. I don't blame my restlessness on others, though, I think that is the difference between her and I. Great thoughts and insights here. Thank you SO much! And, shamwow -- you forget, I live in a very snowy state. I AM DYING to go for a ride!!! lol I was looking at leather chaps and jackets last night. I told my husband I need chaps... he readily agreed and he wants some, too, to which got me excited because I already love his ass... put him in a pair of chaps and... Yowza!!! So -- I guess with one conversation about chaps and leather and some day dreaming of upcoming bike rides I feel more alive again. The motorcycle thing definitely keeps things exciting for us, I think. We also planked together last night (his chiro wants him to do it every day), I did it just to encourage him - turned into a type of competition that ended in laughter. Doing yoga myself every day is helping, too. I guess I feel silly for sharing my momentary feelings, it was not the end of the world. Also, yesterday was Monday, first long week of a few weeks of short work days, celebrations galore. I need to learn how to rest into dull days like that and not freak out that something is amiss with me or my life. Okay. Thanks again for letting this woman ramble on and on with her thoughts. Oh, I didn't forget about where you live at all. Two wheels at night on snow and ice? If you want excitement I think that's got you covered... 😁 haha.. ahh.. I see. Yes, that's true! |
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Post by obobfla on Jan 9, 2018 19:46:22 GMT -5
“It's coming off this 6 year HIGH I have been living on now SETTLING into reality and needing to learn to embrace and cherish contentment. “ I can relate as I did individually many exciting things as my marriage wound down. Then I got into a relationship and did exciting things with my new love. Went to Paris (he’d never travelled that far before) and did some other trips including a hot air balloon ride. Now I am feeling contented, have a nice sex life but also want the excitement of doing new things. To that end, I’ve gotten involved individually in one new thing — painting — and that has boosted my mood. I’m considering doing some new things with my guy to add to our mutual excitement. I’ve read that’s a great way to keep love’s flames burning high. Thinking of participating in an improv acting workshop together or canoeing together or maybe swimming with the manatees.... Or maybe I can get him to go parasailing with me.... Love your enthusiasm and happiness. BTW, I have been swimming with manatees. It is very cool, but be respectful. Manatees are shy creatures. Let them approach you first. I should save up for a kayak and a camera. Somebody gave a GoPro for Christmas a few years back. I need to start my own adventures, but I have to have a partner in crime first. |
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Post by WindSister on Jan 10, 2018 10:49:29 GMT -5
“It's coming off this 6 year HIGH I have been living on now SETTLING into reality and needing to learn to embrace and cherish contentment. “ I can relate as I did individually many exciting things as my marriage wound down. Then I got into a relationship and did exciting things with my new love. Went to Paris (he’d never travelled that far before) and did some other trips including a hot air balloon ride. Now I am feeling contented, have a nice sex life but also want the excitement of doing new things. To that end, I’ve gotten involved individually in one new thing — painting — and that has boosted my mood. I’m considering doing some new things with my guy to add to our mutual excitement. I’ve read that’s a great way to keep love’s flames burning high. Thinking of participating in an improv acting workshop together or canoeing together or maybe swimming with the manatees.... Or maybe I can get him to go parasailing with me.... Love your enthusiasm and happiness. BTW, I have been swimming with manatees. It is very cool, but be respectful. Manatees are shy creatures. Let them approach you first. I should save up for a kayak and a camera. Somebody gave a GoPro for Christmas a few years back. I need to start my own adventures, but I have to have a partner in crime first. Interrupting here....  I was given a "Go Pro" stick - tripod, but I don't have the camera. Maybe I could ship it to ya! Not trying to creep on your address, I am actually serious, I have no use for this thing. It allows you do "selfies" and also set it up as a tripod for taking pictures/videos that way. You don't have to take it, I just thought it was funny I was given it as a gift - I had never heard of a Go Pro before. And, I dare you to take a few adventures, first, even BEFORE finding a partner in crime... Documenting adventures can be a fun hobby - blog/facebook/here/wherever. I found when I did that many people followed me and thanked me and inspired them to step out and do their own adventures. Sharing your joys is never a bad thing. Anyway, wishing you much peace and even more happiness. |
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Post by obobfla on Jan 10, 2018 20:55:08 GMT -5
Love your enthusiasm and happiness. BTW, I have been swimming with manatees. It is very cool, but be respectful. Manatees are shy creatures. Let them approach you first. I should save up for a kayak and a camera. Somebody gave a GoPro for Christmas a few years back. I need to start my own adventures, but I have to have a partner in crime first. Interrupting here.... I was given a "Go Pro" stick - tripod, but I don't have the camera. Maybe I could ship it to ya! Not trying to creep on your address, I am actually serious, I have no use for this thing. It allows you do "selfies" and also set it up as a tripod for taking pictures/videos that way. You don't have to take it, I just thought it was funny I was given it as a gift - I had never heard of a Go Pro before. And, I dare you to take a few adventures, first, even BEFORE finding a partner in crime... Documenting adventures can be a fun hobby - blog/facebook/here/wherever. I found when I did that many people followed me and thanked me and inspired them to step out and do their own adventures. Sharing your joys is never a bad thing. Anyway, wishing you much peace and even more happiness. The best use I have seen for a GoPro is attaching it to the back of an animal. A photographer here strapped it to the back of young bald eagle at an avian recovery center near me. The eagle made a real cool video. I sometimes use mine to go underwater. I tried to shoot some manatees near my house using the GoPro, stick, and iPhone to control the pic. I have gotten awesome shots of my son diving into the pool. Eventually, I want to take my son scuba diving and use it there. If you really want to give it away, you can send it to me. Message me, and I will reply with my address. |
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Post by lwoetin on Jan 11, 2018 23:21:01 GMT -5
OK,.....that's enough cocaine for you... I know. That's what I am saying. So am I the only one in this group who experienced some of this post-divorce? I suppose I don't have a grip on the whole "mindfulness" thing at all if I am feeling twitchy. I'll work on it. Again, I feel weird sharing this but I think it's important to share such real moments post-SM-Divorce and as one moves on because life never stops, our need to grow/learn never stops even when we are out of the SM that made us so unhappy. What made us so unhappy wasn't ALL due to an SM, either, in many cases. When the dust settles and you are in a life you created that you wanted for yourself, you are left with, well, yourself again --- there is always a need to grow/learn. I guess I am experiencing that now. A need to go within again a bit. I think that's all this is. my wife was telling me about our neighbors (godparents of our son). They were talking about what change would happen when he retires. He told his wife that she will need to go out more often. So they don't have to spend so much time together. I asked my wife let's spend more time together, watch TV and cuddle. She said no. She told me that she asked me to spend time with her when she was lonely before we had kids. My response was...I'm tired, I just want to watch TV. So from that point on she said she learned to be independent and not need me to spend time with her. I told her that was 17 yrs ago, I don't remember what I said, but it was my mistake. She says she's not into that anymore. I think you are correct that we will be with ourselves again when the dust settles. And we still pursue our own passions. Let me also add my cocaine.. |
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Post by surfergirl on Jan 14, 2018 13:50:45 GMT -5
WindSisterDid you grow up in a home with chaos, abuse, and/or instability? That would explain everything. In order to feel normal or good, you need chaos and excitement because -- HERE'S THE KICKER-- we mistake familiarity with love/normal. Just ignore me if I'm off-base. But this is very, very common.
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Post by elkclan2 on Jan 14, 2018 14:17:05 GMT -5
I absolutely crave stability and normal in some areas of my life and want excitement and adventure in others - I NEED an interesting project at work. I need intense exercise (and can't right now because of an injury), but my life was full of upheaval in childhood and I love being stable. I can't believe I'm about to change everything up and try to move house in the next year to be with my partner in one house.
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Post by WindSister on Jan 16, 2018 12:56:22 GMT -5
I think I just really dislike Mondays and my job right now. I don't think like this on the weekend, it's always "the first day back at work." So, I would say it's WORK that is really the problem and it is. Staff issues (always, always staff with their never-ending god-for-saken ISSUES). When my staff can't work because of their never-ending ISSUES, I have to do their work AND my work (and I save the company mega money because I am salary). Yeah, I was on Indeed today, but like getting out of a sexless marriage, getting out of a job you don't like is hard................ time to tidy up my darn resume and set a plan in motion.
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Post by WindSister on Jan 16, 2018 13:01:39 GMT -5
If I sound like I am lacking compassion it is because I am..... after three years of this and seeing the same things over and over and over again with staff and their issues, I am NUMB to it all. How is it some are just full of issues and others can make it to work NO MATTER WHAT? I have always been the no matter what gal - never bring my issues to work, did what it took to GET to work, etc. Culture is changing. Everyone wants to be catered to now.
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