When the Dust Settles... I mean, REALLY Settles...
Jan 8, 2018 11:10:06 GMT -5
lwoetin, ironhamster, and 1 more like this
Post by WindSister on Jan 8, 2018 11:10:06 GMT -5
Sorry, it's another thread by me. I can't help myself.
This past fall, into winter has brought on a "new" .... I don't know what it is... something... new normal?
Everything has SETTLED. I need to get used to this.
Does that make sense?
Prior to divorcing my ex, I went on a spiritual/physical/emotional journey -- found mindfulness, started a ton of "new and exciting" things like kayaking, hiking with others, going on solo treks, etc. I went on vacations with friends and on and on. While doing all that, I was thinking my marriage would somehow be "saved" but my husband didn't join me in living life, so we ended it.
That started a whole NEW heartbreaking, yet EXCITING, chapter.... new friends, new place to live, new dreams for my future, new men, yes, I dated A LOT. I even traveled thousands of miles to spend a weekend with someone. I took on more challanges like the big "Naked Dating" book club I hosted for 5 weeks with an attendance of 50-70 people each week, etc. Really HURLED myself out of the box and took chances. It was all VERY VERY Exciting.
In the midst of the "very exciting" was the emotions of divorce - it was a raw but real time. I made great friends that I am still friends with to this day during this time.
I felt VERY ALIVE during this period of my life.
I also experienced some real hurts and decided after one particular dysfunctional endeavor with a man to be strong, don't settle, give up on the unavailable men and just live my life for me. Then my now-husband came along.
During this time of he and I just getting together it was a VERY EXCITING time... are you seeing a theme here??
We were on the same page, there were no games, the sex was out of this world, (I still love our sex life, just being REAL -- it does not stay "out of this world" forever and if people say it does, they lie). It was exciting to drive hours to see him, spend the weekends with him, take time off work to be with him and vice versa. It is, of course exciting falling in love, right?
That excitement stayed up to a level 8, easily for me, well into moving together and getting married because it was all so unreal to me.
It wasn't until just this year, this fall to be exact, that the "excitement level" has gone woooooosh................. Yes, I had another thread somewhere touching on it, too the "blah" one.
Don't judge me, I am being honest here.
It's nothing he did and nothing I did, it's just reality of relationships.
It's coming off this 6 year HIGH I have been living on now SETTLING into reality and needing to learn to embrace and cherish contentment.
It's not that I am not happy. I AM HAPPY. Really, I am. I can't make that shit up anymore.
It's just.... "not exciting" anymore. Life, I mean.
And, I know it's not supposed to be exciting all the time, so I know I have to embrace this new chapter we are entering with peace love and joy in my heart. I am just trying to figure out how.
Does any of this make sense or do I now look like some adrenaline junkie? Or what? I am SO grateful for the relationship with my husband. I love our life, I love his family and embracing his grandkids as my own. We have plans for the future, etc. So I don't mean to sound ungrateful.
I think the last several years just shook me up SO MUCH, I kinda got used to chaos, craziness, real, raw, etc...
I don't know. Would appreciate thoughts without shaming me. If I could ask such a request. I know I will work through this, I always do, usually not long after spilling my heart out like this, infact.
Just kinda sharing.....
This past fall, into winter has brought on a "new" .... I don't know what it is... something... new normal?
Everything has SETTLED. I need to get used to this.
Does that make sense?
Prior to divorcing my ex, I went on a spiritual/physical/emotional journey -- found mindfulness, started a ton of "new and exciting" things like kayaking, hiking with others, going on solo treks, etc. I went on vacations with friends and on and on. While doing all that, I was thinking my marriage would somehow be "saved" but my husband didn't join me in living life, so we ended it.
That started a whole NEW heartbreaking, yet EXCITING, chapter.... new friends, new place to live, new dreams for my future, new men, yes, I dated A LOT. I even traveled thousands of miles to spend a weekend with someone. I took on more challanges like the big "Naked Dating" book club I hosted for 5 weeks with an attendance of 50-70 people each week, etc. Really HURLED myself out of the box and took chances. It was all VERY VERY Exciting.
In the midst of the "very exciting" was the emotions of divorce - it was a raw but real time. I made great friends that I am still friends with to this day during this time.
I felt VERY ALIVE during this period of my life.
I also experienced some real hurts and decided after one particular dysfunctional endeavor with a man to be strong, don't settle, give up on the unavailable men and just live my life for me. Then my now-husband came along.
During this time of he and I just getting together it was a VERY EXCITING time... are you seeing a theme here??
We were on the same page, there were no games, the sex was out of this world, (I still love our sex life, just being REAL -- it does not stay "out of this world" forever and if people say it does, they lie). It was exciting to drive hours to see him, spend the weekends with him, take time off work to be with him and vice versa. It is, of course exciting falling in love, right?
That excitement stayed up to a level 8, easily for me, well into moving together and getting married because it was all so unreal to me.
It wasn't until just this year, this fall to be exact, that the "excitement level" has gone woooooosh................. Yes, I had another thread somewhere touching on it, too the "blah" one.
Don't judge me, I am being honest here.
It's nothing he did and nothing I did, it's just reality of relationships.
It's coming off this 6 year HIGH I have been living on now SETTLING into reality and needing to learn to embrace and cherish contentment.
It's not that I am not happy. I AM HAPPY. Really, I am. I can't make that shit up anymore.
It's just.... "not exciting" anymore. Life, I mean.
And, I know it's not supposed to be exciting all the time, so I know I have to embrace this new chapter we are entering with peace love and joy in my heart. I am just trying to figure out how.
Does any of this make sense or do I now look like some adrenaline junkie? Or what? I am SO grateful for the relationship with my husband. I love our life, I love his family and embracing his grandkids as my own. We have plans for the future, etc. So I don't mean to sound ungrateful.
I think the last several years just shook me up SO MUCH, I kinda got used to chaos, craziness, real, raw, etc...
I don't know. Would appreciate thoughts without shaming me. If I could ask such a request. I know I will work through this, I always do, usually not long after spilling my heart out like this, infact.
Just kinda sharing.....
