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Post by mescaline on Dec 15, 2017 15:18:42 GMT -5
[/quote] Why would one want sex with someone that has rejected them for years and years? [/quote]
Forlorn hope. I think most of us have been guilty of this. It's a difficult habit to shake!
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Post by ironhamster on Dec 15, 2017 15:43:24 GMT -5
Why would one want sex with someone that has rejected them for years and years? [/quote] Forlorn hope. I think most of us have been guilty of this. It's a difficult habit to shake! [/quote] To a starving man, even a saltine is a blessing, until you wake up to the realization that there are options other than starving.
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Post by rich22 on Dec 15, 2017 15:53:32 GMT -5
My difficulty is from years and years of rejection. At some point it becomes almost impossible to even bring up the subject. I am a healthy, sexual male that craves affection. I feel I've lost many years of marriage. Sex had always been an important part of past relationships.
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Post by bballgirl on Dec 15, 2017 16:25:09 GMT -5
Why would one want sex with someone that has rejected them for years and years? [/quote] Forlorn hope. I think most of us have been guilty of this. It's a difficult habit to shake! [/quote] I understand. I now see hope as a waste of time. I no longer hope for anything. If I want something I go out and get it. If it can't be had then I move on.
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Post by worksforme2 on Dec 15, 2017 16:36:45 GMT -5
If I want something I go out and get it. If it can't be had then I move on. [/quote] I once said I thought you could have been a man in a previous life, now I know for sure .........
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Post by DryCreek on Dec 15, 2017 16:38:45 GMT -5
This sounds pessimistic, but the definition of hope is practically "anticipating an outcome that the facts don't support". Believing the outcome will swing in your favor when the odds and evidence say otherwise.
It's good and powerful as a motivational tool. But it can also be a trap, causing one to reject reality.
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Post by bballgirl on Dec 15, 2017 17:19:17 GMT -5
If I want something I go out and get it. If it can't be had then I move on. I once said I thought you could have been a man in a previous life, now I know for sure ......... [/quote] My brain is wired like a man. I've had men even tell me "that's why I like you because you think like a man". But I promise the rest of my body is a woman in all the right ways!
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Post by bballgirl on Dec 15, 2017 17:22:49 GMT -5
This sounds pessimistic, but the definition of hope is practically "anticipating an outcome that the facts don't support". Believing the outcome will swing in your favor when the odds and evidence say otherwise. It's good and powerful as a motivational tool. But it can also be a trap, causing one to reject reality. I'm quite selective with my "hope" statements. I hope you feel better; I hope you have a great weekend.
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Post by worksforme2 on Dec 15, 2017 17:24:28 GMT -5
but the definition of hope is practically "anticipating an outcome that the facts don't support". "anticipating an outcome that the facts don't support". I am already thinking of times and places where I can use this.....
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Post by solodriver on Dec 16, 2017 0:45:05 GMT -5
and then you'll be like me and it will be 18 years with no sex.
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Post by shamwow on Dec 16, 2017 6:45:46 GMT -5
Building a strong marriage is like building a strong brick house.
Every year, every month, and every day bricks are added. The strength of what you are building comes not from the bricks, however, but from how well the bricks are held together.
Intimacy is mortar. It is the essential ingredient that makes the structure solid. If a brick house is held together by mortar on the lower levels but the bricks are simply stacked atop each other as it goes higher, it is a recipe for disaster.
Some of us have homes built with almost no mortar at all. When storma hit we don't take shelter inside our homes and relax in security. Instead we race from wall to wall trying to prop them up by force of will. But someday the unsupported walls will rise too high for our efforts to prop up and the entire structure will collapse.
Other homes started with ample mortar but over time it dwindled to none and as new bricks are added, the structure is unsupported. If mortar is added to subsequent layers the house may not collapse, however repair work may be necessary later to shore up thee weak layers.
But in the end you need mortar to build a strong brick house. The less mortar used and the lower the quality, the more precarious living in that structure will be and the more likely eventual collapse.
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Post by h on Dec 16, 2017 8:18:46 GMT -5
Building a strong marriage is like building a strong brick house. Every year, every month, and every day bricks are added. The strength of what you are building comes not from the bricks, however, but from how well the bricks are held together. Intimacy is mortar. It is the essential ingredient that makes the structure solid. If a brick house is held together by mortar on the lower levels but the bricks are simply stacked atop each other as it goes higher, it is a recipe for disaster. Some of us have homes built with almost no mortar at all. When storma hit we don't take shelter inside our homes and relax in security. Instead we race from wall to wall trying to prop them up by force of will. But someday the unsupported walls will rise too high for our efforts to prop up and the entire structure will collapse. Other homes started with ample mortar but over time it dwindled to none and as new bricks are added, the structure is unsupported. If mortar is added to subsequent layers the house may not collapse, however repair work may be necessary later to shore up thee weak layers. But in the end you need mortar to build a strong brick house. The less mortar used and the lower the quality, the more precarious living in that structure will be and the more likely eventual collapse. Well put sham. Couldn't say it better.
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Post by GeekGoddess on Dec 16, 2017 9:31:56 GMT -5
Sham’s post made me think of an older post from Dan. The W was throwing bricks at H. H picks up those bricks & builds a defensive wall around his heart, & claims to not be angry but is defending himself. But the wall is very hard to tear down. I replied that I thought there IS anger, it’s just hidden- as mortar. Not noticeable, much, but it’s what makes the wall so hard to tear down. Dan pointed out that the H in this story could just leave the thrown bricks. We, the refused, don’t have to pick them up or build anything with them. We could leave them where they thrown. I love building analogies. As to the OP, I don’t believe that the time period itself is what cannot be recovered from. It’s the attitudes. When I am the only one in a marriage with the willingness to change, that is what can’t be recovered from.
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 16, 2017 9:56:22 GMT -5
This sounds pessimistic, but the definition of hope is practically "anticipating an outcome that the facts don't support". Believing the outcome will swing in your favor when the odds and evidence say otherwise. It's good and powerful as a motivational tool. But it can also be a trap, causing one to reject reality. Being hopeless is a far bigger trap that will keep you trapped from getting any where near reality, having little good in your life, having no power, and no motivation. Any one here want to constantly be surrounded by hopelessness? Like living in a SM?
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Post by shamwow on Dec 16, 2017 11:52:02 GMT -5
Sham’s post made me think of an older post from Dan. The W was throwing bricks at H. H picks up those bricks & builds a defensive wall around his heart, & claims to not be angry but is defending uhimself. But the wall is very hard to tear down. I replied that I thought there IS anger, it’s just hidden- as mortar. Not noticeable, much, but it’s what makes the wall so hard to tear down. Dan pointed out that the H in this story could just leave the thrown bricks. We, the refused, don’t have to pick them up or build anything with them. We could leave them where they thrown. I love building analogies. As to the OP, I don’t believe that the time period itself is what cannot be recovered from. It’s the attitudes. When I am the only one in a marriage with the willingness to change, that is what can’t be recovered from. Anger AND resentment. Yesterday I had a day chock full of both. But every day I feel a little less resentment for that cold frigid bitch who made me believe I was a worthless piece of shit. Hmmmm.... Perhaps I need to work a touch harder on resentment
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