Post by greatcoastal on Nov 12, 2017 9:44:05 GMT -5
I relate to this article very well. Recently when I am in my men's fellowship group, I mention my divorce, and my SM as we discuss our daily struggles. One of our newer members asked me " is your W. a Christian?" My response was " professing, yes. Practicing ,no".
just like this article, it all looks good on the surface. This reminds me of other books that talk about the "fake mask". I went on to talk about my W's music playing, singing, fakebook posts, and putting up artwork (signs) about scripture.
All surface stuff. Interesting how much of it comes back to actions speak louder than words, and how a manipulative controller lives on a one way street paved with double standards. You will always be expected to agree to their level of intimacy, (small, surface only, and all talk) while your level of intimacy is rejected.
As the article touched on, they have fears. Fears well hidden behind their controlling behavior.
For me (and hopefully others) what would be ideal, is to hear more gospel preached about BOTH having to submit. BOTH being vulnerable enough to GIVE OPENLY to each other, and RECEIVE from each other. That if sex/intimacy is designed by God for marriage, than a marriage without it is going to crumble. Also how it will have a ripple affect into all other aspects of the marriage.
That's why I married my W in the first place! We could NOW have sex, we are married!, pretty simple, right?
This should not be frowned upon by the church for the person who wants to end such a failed marriage. To ONLY be "allowed" by the church if one spouse cheated on another is absurd. Years ,and years, of abuse due to sex/intimacy rejection is even worse than having an affair.
Don't get me started on the "money control " issues. And how that goes against marriage, and TRUST.
just like this article, it all looks good on the surface. This reminds me of other books that talk about the "fake mask". I went on to talk about my W's music playing, singing, fakebook posts, and putting up artwork (signs) about scripture.
All surface stuff. Interesting how much of it comes back to actions speak louder than words, and how a manipulative controller lives on a one way street paved with double standards. You will always be expected to agree to their level of intimacy, (small, surface only, and all talk) while your level of intimacy is rejected.
As the article touched on, they have fears. Fears well hidden behind their controlling behavior.
For me (and hopefully others) what would be ideal, is to hear more gospel preached about BOTH having to submit. BOTH being vulnerable enough to GIVE OPENLY to each other, and RECEIVE from each other. That if sex/intimacy is designed by God for marriage, than a marriage without it is going to crumble. Also how it will have a ripple affect into all other aspects of the marriage.
That's why I married my W in the first place! We could NOW have sex, we are married!, pretty simple, right?
This should not be frowned upon by the church for the person who wants to end such a failed marriage. To ONLY be "allowed" by the church if one spouse cheated on another is absurd. Years ,and years, of abuse due to sex/intimacy rejection is even worse than having an affair.
Don't get me started on the "money control " issues. And how that goes against marriage, and TRUST.
