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Post by shamwow on Oct 27, 2017 13:38:14 GMT -5
I know one of my bucket lists things if I ever get out, is to time the Ball drop. You just want to claim bragging rights for giving an orgasm that "lasted into the next year"... During the "bait" years of my bait and switch, we did have this happen one year. I claimed my staying power was legendary, lasting two years. Of course, that was in my early 20's and my staying power at the time (probably 10 minutes) made this an accomplishment in a different way. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 27, 2017 14:06:34 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2017 21:17:15 GMT -5
I am sharing this here because I am "post SM". BUT.... that doesn't mean life suddenly turns into fairies and unicorns. No, No, No, No. Please No. It got better already didn't it? Of all people, you can't be bored or burdened. I come here to get some positive vibe, and there's a beaver dam in the Positive Vibe River! |
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Post by shamwow on Nov 1, 2017 22:48:42 GMT -5
I am sharing this here because I am "post SM". BUT.... that doesn't mean life suddenly turns into fairies and unicorns. No, No, No, No. Please No. It got better already didn't it? Of all people, you can't be bored or burdened. I come here to get some positive vibe, and there's a beaver dam in the Positive Vibe River! There is nothing wrong with saying that everything isn't unicorns and rainbows. I'd be suspicious if someone said that. But I think WindSister would agree the other side beats languishing in a shithole. |
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Post by northstarmom on Nov 2, 2017 6:13:26 GMT -5
My life in opposite land:
I hate my job due to a condescending micromanager less educated than me who now is in charge of reviewing my work.
Our house flooded last week with sewage from a pipe problem causing thousands of dollars in damage.
Septic tank repairs may cost $10 k.
I hate the state of the world.
But I am not in a sm shithole. Bad as things are, even if I did not have the wonderful partner I have, my life would be much worse if I were still living with my emotional vampire refuser ex. I am very grateful that I divorced.
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Post by WindSister on Nov 2, 2017 9:09:04 GMT -5
I am sharing this here because I am "post SM". BUT.... that doesn't mean life suddenly turns into fairies and unicorns. No, No, No, No. Please No. It got better already didn't it? Of all people, you can't be bored or burdened. I come here to get some positive vibe, and there's a beaver dam in the Positive Vibe River! Yes, it got better, way better!!! Three week dry spell was really and genuinely due to us both feeling REALLY crappy -- I mean, "coughing out lungs" sick, I am STILL deaf in my left ear from an infection (that I am treating) and we are both fatigued super easily, had bronchitis after having stomach flu for two days (nothing says romance like puking with the love of your life). BUT -- last week we got back to normal (even still not feeling 100% healthy yet). So, yes, it's way better than life in my SM with a spouse who was sexually indifferent towards me (actually admitted he liked when I went to bed early so he could masturbate to porn in his recliner in the living room). Last night I was scrolling fast on Facebook and read a quote wrong... The actual quote was "So tell me what you plan on doing with this one wild and precious life" but I read: "So tell me what you plan on doing with this one wild and precious WIFE." It made me chuckle so I texted my version of the quote to my husband who was downstairs hanging sheet rock. He got it right away and RAN upstairs, kissed my neck and we went to the bedroom. 
Yeah, it's better.  |
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Post by WindSister on Nov 2, 2017 9:11:48 GMT -5
And when it comes to "other stuff" -- eh, none of it matters. My husband is on my team, I am on his. Outsiders (and our jobs) bring more pressure on us than either he and I do, that's for sure. But we work through it together. BUt, yes, bad days still happen, blahness/boredom still happens (I am one who really has to work hard to be okay with "routine" because I don't love routine - so I have to add spice to our lives, adventures, travel, etc.).
BUT.. we do annoy each other sometimes. We do fight sometimes. We have let things go that we know neither of us will never change on. We choose to see past those things, breathe, and just choose love anyway.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 2, 2017 9:12:12 GMT -5
No, No, No, No. Please No. It got better already didn't it? Of all people, you can't be bored or burdened. I come here to get some positive vibe, and there's a beaver dam in the Positive Vibe River! Yes, it got better, way better!!! Three week dry spell was really and genuinely due to us both feeling REALLY crappy -- I mean, "coughing out lungs" sick, I am STILL deaf in my left ear from an infection (that I am treating) and we are both fatigued super easily, had bronchitis after having stomach flu for two days (nothing says romance like puking with the love of your life). BUT -- last week we got back to normal (even still not feeling 100% healthy yet). So, yes, it's way better than life in my SM with a spouse who was sexually indifferent towards me (actually admitted he liked when I went to bed early so he could masturbate to porn in his recliner in the living room). Last night I was scrolling fast on Facebook and read a quote wrong... The actual quote was "So tell me what you plan on doing with this one wild and precious life" but I read: "So tell me what you plan on doing with this one wild and precious WIFE." It made me chuckle so I texted my version of the quote to my husband who was downstairs hanging sheet rock. He got it right away and RAN upstairs, kissed my neck and we went to the bedroom.
Yeah, it's better. Pfew, I knew it. It IS rainbows and unicorns. You had me going there for a minute. |
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Post by shamwow on Nov 2, 2017 15:33:38 GMT -5
Yes, it got better, way better!!! Three week dry spell was really and genuinely due to us both feeling REALLY crappy -- I mean, "coughing out lungs" sick, I am STILL deaf in my left ear from an infection (that I am treating) and we are both fatigued super easily, had bronchitis after having stomach flu for two days (nothing says romance like puking with the love of your life). BUT -- last week we got back to normal (even still not feeling 100% healthy yet). So, yes, it's way better than life in my SM with a spouse who was sexually indifferent towards me (actually admitted he liked when I went to bed early so he could masturbate to porn in his recliner in the living room). Last night I was scrolling fast on Facebook and read a quote wrong... The actual quote was "So tell me what you plan on doing with this one wild and precious life" but I read: "So tell me what you plan on doing with this one wild and precious WIFE." It made me chuckle so I texted my version of the quote to my husband who was downstairs hanging sheet rock. He got it right away and RAN upstairs, kissed my neck and we went to the bedroom.
Yeah, it's better. Pfew, I knew it. It IS rainbows and unicorns. You had me going there for a minute. It is impossible to be rainbows and unicorns if there is sheet rock work involved. I'm sorry, but that's just an immutable law of nature. |
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Post by WindSister on Nov 3, 2017 8:39:10 GMT -5
Pfew, I knew it. It IS rainbows and unicorns. You had me going there for a minute. It is impossible to be rainbows and unicorns if there is sheet rock work involved. I'm sorry, but that's just an immutable law of nature. OMG. I literally almost spit out my coffee laughing because that is so so so true. Sheet rock is an evil but necessary thing. I don't just sit and scroll on Facebook while he works his ass off, for the record. lol I help haul the sheet rock down - and let me tell you, that is quite the adventure. We have a staircase with a 90 degree turn in it. Sheet rock doesn't bend and it's fragile. So... yeah.... BUT --- we work well together and not one mean word was exchanged between us. We don't get crabby at each other during such things because it's exciting -- we are going to have a new bedroom, bathroom with sauna, bar and cozy tv room. The sheet rock going up makes it so real. He is a perfectionist with his construction, so he just calls me to help with things like holding the tape measure, getting sheet rock for the ceiling on the lift, holding this or that as he screws. He doesn't want me doing any taping, mudding, sanding or painting (shoot - darn). He will also sometimes call me down just for company, which I do a lot. I tell him how awesome he is and how much I appreciate his hard work and he feels better. (and I mean it too, he has awesome skills). When he is slaving away in the basement, I make his sandwich for lunch the next day, make sure laundry is done, etc. It works. My friends laugh at me, "You make his sandwiches?  " Um.. yeah... he's hanging freaking sheet rock. When my ex and I projected together? Total bitch fest on both our parts. (shuddering at that memory) |
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Post by WindSister on Nov 3, 2017 9:10:31 GMT -5
I need to add to the above....
I don't "like" construction work. I feel out of my place with it all, it bores me to stand there holding the tape measure, I usually do things wrong the first time and need guidance (I typically don't like being told what to do), He ponders a lot..... looks.... looks... schemes... making plans in his head... I wait, wait, wait....
But, when he calls me, "BAYBOSE!" (spelled it like he says it) I go running -- with a SMILE and ENTHUSIASM to help because it's what I would want from him if I was working hard for us and needed help. Even when on the inside I feel like sighing because the work is SO tedious to me. lol When I "called him" with my text the other night, he also came running with a smile and enthusiasm. It's how I feel a functional relationship should work - and the energy you give out does come back.
That's all "the work" part of working in a relationship. Sometimes it is doing things you don't want to do, happily. He hates gardening, but helps me enthusiastically every spring and sends me pictures of blooms if I miss them on the first day they open because I am working late or something (totally touched my heart when he did that, better than if he had bought a dozen roses!). Ha, recalling this, he has the same look on his face in the garden as I have in the basement.. "Just tell me what to do, and I will do it." ah, love. I don't love making sandwiches, but I love making sure he knows I am here to support him and I appreciate him. He doesn't love trying to figure out why my motorcycle wouldn't start, he's not mechanically inclined and felt he was in over his head, but he did it and never once blamed me for wanting to ride and making more work for us. Something my ex did all the time, blame me for things, make me feel guilty, like I should apologize for being alive.
Something we both do say is this relationship makes us better people. He says he is more generous because of me and I say I have learned real faithfulness, appreciation, patience because of him. His kids say he is a different man (in a good way) and my mom says she has never seen me so content and level.
So, this thread was all over the place -- which clearly shows I still have stuff going on in my head. But, when I truly get to writing what is important to me, it all gets clearer. I have nothing to complain about, ever, really.
Sorry, just rambling again, I know I do that too much here.
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Post by northstarmom on Nov 3, 2017 9:23:57 GMT -5
Awakeforthedance, I notice that what you and your guy offer each other is appreciation for what each does. That’s so important! It is one of the things that my refuser didn’t give me, and I bet that is typical for SMs. I’d make a point of thanking him for things he did, and I’d give a specific complement. He didn’t do that for me.
One of the many things I love about post sm partner is he expresses appreciation for what I do, even for ordinary actions like mopping the floor. I do the same for him. We speak each others’ love languages as both of us experience love through words of affirmation and touch.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 3, 2017 19:00:51 GMT -5
I need to add to the above.... I don't "like" construction work. I feel out of my place with it all, it bores me to stand there holding the tape measure, I usually do things wrong the first time and need guidance (I typically don't like being told what to do), He ponders a lot..... looks.... looks... schemes... making plans in his head... I wait, wait, wait.... But, when he calls me, "BAYBOSE!" (spelled it like he says it) I go running -- with a SMILE and ENTHUSIASM to help because it's what I would want from him if I was working hard for us and needed help. Even when on the inside I feel like sighing because the work is SO tedious to me. lol When I "called him" with my text the other night, he also came running with a smile and enthusiasm. It's how I feel a functional relationship should work - and the energy you give out does come back. That's all "the work" part of working in a relationship. Sometimes it is doing things you don't want to do, happily. He hates gardening, but helps me enthusiastically every spring and sends me pictures of blooms if I miss them on the first day they open because I am working late or something (totally touched my heart when he did that, better than if he had bought a dozen roses!). Ha, recalling this, he has the same look on his face in the garden as I have in the basement.. "Just tell me what to do, and I will do it." ah, love. I don't love making sandwiches, but I love making sure he knows I am here to support him and I appreciate him. He doesn't love trying to figure out why my motorcycle wouldn't start, he's not mechanically inclined and felt he was in over his head, but he did it and never once blamed me for wanting to ride and making more work for us. Something my ex did all the time, blame me for things, make me feel guilty, like I should apologize for being alive. Something we both do say is this relationship makes us better people. He says he is more generous because of me and I say I have learned real faithfulness, appreciation, patience because of him. His kids say he is a different man (in a good way) and my mom says she has never seen me so content and level. So, this thread was all over the place -- which clearly shows I still have stuff going on in my head. But, when I truly get to writing what is important to me, it all gets clearer. I have nothing to complain about, ever, really. Sorry, just rambling again, I know I do that too much here. This is what makes the hard stuff soft. The bad stuff good. Just a little of this and all is right in the world. Such a simple formula. |
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" Um.. yeah... he's hanging freaking sheet rock. 