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Post by Caris on Sept 21, 2017 11:54:42 GMT -5
I dislike the whole idea of spouses or partners spying each other. It's an invasion of privacy. People need to have a few private things that belong only to them, or they feel like they're in jail. Also, I would not want to be in a relationship where I had to check up on my man all the time. I want to be his lover and his friend - not a cop or a parent, scrutinizing everything he does. It's no fun for me if I have to feel like a cop. If I think my man is hiding something from me, I would hope I would have the strength to just ask him. Keeping in mind, my gadgets are not exactly virginal, either. If my man neglects me and ignores me too much, I'm quite capable of using my gadgets to find comfort. For security reasons not connected to my love life, all my gadgets are locked and I use a password vault for all account passwords, and a VPN. I know a little too much about IT stuff to be too lax with security. Gadgets? Do you mean phone apps? What gadgets give comfort when there is lack of intimacy and affection in one's life? I need these gadgets. If you are not speaking of sex/porn, then I'd like to know what they are. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2017 14:30:22 GMT -5
What I meant was that I can use the phone, the iPad and the computer to go online and talk to people. Some of whom are men...
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Post by Caris on Sept 21, 2017 16:46:42 GMT -5
What I meant was that I can use the phone, the iPad and the computer to go online and talk to people. Some of whom are men... Okay. I get it. |
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Sept 21, 2017 22:16:23 GMT -5
Frankly speaking there should be boundaries to one's foul behaviour. If no boundaries are put in place and enforced the situation will get worse. That said your room mate is going through your phone cause a) She knows she aint giving it up and is deathly afraid you will seek it elsewhere or b) She is having an affair and is suspicious you are doing the same.
Me personally i let my wife go through my phone. Couldn't give a rats arse. Nothing to hide though these behaviours are annoying.
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Post by sweetplumeria on Sept 22, 2017 1:54:40 GMT -5
While my husband would probably look at my texts if he could figure out the phine he does do other weird and invasive things. Examples are going through the bathroom trash to learn if i am menstrating, repurposing my bra for padding for his hiking pack. This is still to invasive on an entirely different level.
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Post by sweetplumeria on Sept 22, 2017 2:00:40 GMT -5
I know a little too much about IT stuff to be too lax with security.[/quote]
Smartkat you should teach us some basic things to help ourselves.
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Post by ironhamster on Sept 22, 2017 8:44:38 GMT -5
I'd never let my wife go through my phone.
I could not care less if she shocked the shit out of herself seeing what I post and what I sext, but other people are involved, too, and some have more to lose than I do. I'm not going to risk exposing anyone else.
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Sept 22, 2017 8:52:42 GMT -5
Fekk it. My wife can go through my phone. Ive learned to cover my tracks... disguise any online covert activity.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2017 12:15:47 GMT -5
After my refuser went through all of my contacts and started yelling at me about them, I put a passcode on my phone and never took it off. I don't accept her attempts to control me. If she had treated my with dignity and respect, I would feel differently.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2017 17:04:37 GMT -5
I know a little too much about IT stuff to be too lax with security. Smartkat you should teach us some basic things to help ourselves.[/quote] There are other people here who know more than I do. But for starters: 1 - Passcode on your phone, iPad, etc. Takes about 5 minutes to do. 2 - Password vault for all your account passwords. Get something like LastPass on all your gadgets, and take the time to set it up. Then use the password generator to create a different password for every online account you have. This takes more effort, but it's worth it. 3 - Except for job hunting and buying things with a credit card, I never use my real name for anything online. I also try to avoid having real photos of myself online (although this is not always easy.) Paranoid? Maybe. But consider this: if the wrong person got hold of your real name, real phone number, date of birth including the year, etc., you could go through identity theft and fraud experiences that IMHO would be even worse than having your refuser in a jealousy fit. In fact, if they don't like your privacy precautions, you just tell them that you are concerned about identity theft and fraud. There's plenty of horror stories to back this up. If you really are sneaking around, you can use things like burner phone apps to hide your real phone number, an app called Signal for private text messaging. Pay for things with a prepaid credit card, or maybe get yourself a credit card that your refuser doesn't know about. Then link that card to a PayPal account that they don't know about. This won't help with a nosy refuser snooping on your phone or computer, but I use a VPN as well, because of the identity theft risk. And, again, there are people who know more about IT security than I do. If any of them are reading this - feel free to chime in. |
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Post by obobfla on Sept 23, 2017 1:04:55 GMT -5
If there has been one positive in my marriage, it is that my wife and I have always respected each other's privacy. We are both from large families where privacy and personal space are luxuries. Neither one of us would go into each other's phones, drawers, or pockets without permission. We don't go into the bathroom when the other is using it. I could never tolerate a snooping, jeolous partner. I have too many platonic female friends, so the possessive type would never work with me.
While my wife never snoops, I do take precautions. The passwords I use for this site and other "adult" sites are based on childhood pets and school mascots. My wife and I met as adults, and she doesn't know the pets and mascots of my youth. I also clean my browser cache often.
One tip that I don't use but others do is to get a "burner" phone - a pay as you go smartphone from Walmart. Use that to communicate with your AP. If asked, tell your spouse that it's for work or emergencies.
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Post by brian on Sept 23, 2017 5:38:00 GMT -5
I know a little too much about IT stuff to be too lax with security. Smartkat you should teach us some basic things to help ourselves. There are other people here who know more than I do. But for starters: 1 - Passcode on your phone, iPad, etc. Takes about 5 minutes to do. 2 - Password vault for all your account passwords. Get something like LastPass on all your gadgets, and take the time to set it up. Then use the password generator to create a different password for every online account you have. This takes more effort, but it's worth it. 3 - Except for job hunting and buying things with a credit card, I never use my real name for anything online. I also try to avoid having real photos of myself online (although this is not always easy.) Paranoid? Maybe. But consider this: if the wrong person got hold of your real name, real phone number, date of birth including the year, etc., you could go through identity theft and fraud experiences that IMHO would be even worse than having your refuser in a jealousy fit. In fact, if they don't like your privacy precautions, you just tell them that you are concerned about identity theft and fraud. There's plenty of horror stories to back this up. If you really are sneaking around, you can use things like burner phone apps to hide your real phone number, an app called Signal for private text messaging. Pay for things with a prepaid credit card, or maybe get yourself a credit card that your refuser doesn't know about. Then link that card to a PayPal account that they don't know about. This won't help with a nosy refuser snooping on your phone or computer, but I use a VPN as well, because of the identity theft risk. And, again, there are people who know more about IT security than I do. If any of them are reading this - feel free to chime in.[/quote]
...and then there was Equifax, which put all of that crap out there about just about everyone.  |
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Sept 23, 2017 15:26:34 GMT -5
If you are on samsung phones, look into secure folder. Its a password protected folder you can put all your messaging apps, browser and anything else you want to password protect. You have the option to hide the folder so that its not visible on the phone. Its like having a pw-protected, hidden desktop on the phone.
BTW...these days, there is no such thing as privacy. If somebody important enougb needs to digitally snoop on you, assume they'll figure it out sooner or later. But you can take measures to make it extremely difficult. The key is anonymity. Dont use your real identity for anything online. Look into throwaway accounts for email, messaging, social networks etc, so you can delete them at any time. It would be like you never existed 😈
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