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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 15, 2017 13:10:54 GMT -5
My birthday was the 12, and per usual I don't expect anything. I waited, and waited, then after dinner I realized nothing was going to happen. So as I was going to bed(we don't sleep..." Time to take responsible for your own life and happiness. Give yourself the kind of birthday that you can get by doing things under your control. Take a solo trip. Invite friends or relatives to meet you for dinner. Hell, take yourself to a dinner or a game or something else you would enjoy. Stop waiting for and depending on your wife. It's your life to enjoy or resentfully endure. You don't need your wife's permission for you to do things that make you happy. Well said! last night I went to a local bar that I drive past almost daily. I've got to tell you.....It wasn't easy. It took something like a BD, to force me to DO SOMETHING! Surprisingly, I had a pretty mellow attitude. I think it was bballgirl who suggested "just go and observe" that's what i did. It was karaoke night. The place was full of couples ,mostly in their 60's. Not an easy place to meet someone. The food tasted like it was nuked straight out of the freezer. I observed very few people walk in alone, most came with someone else or in a group. HEY, I went I explored ,I conqured a fear, I survived! They have a small dance floor. Very little dancing went on. I spoke to an elderly couple that i gave my table to, i asked " Do they do any dancing here?" she said," later in the night". I asked," is it all free style" she said, "pretty much". I replied, " I took a lot of lessons in my twenties, swing, shag, cha-cha, fox trot ,waltz,tango,etc...do they do anything like that? I was then told " you are in a much desired minority!, you need to find a better place." All part of a learning experience. However I did something for myself. |
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Post by northstarmom on Oct 15, 2017 13:54:55 GMT -5
Great coastal,
Want to be wildly popular with the ladies? Go back to taking dance lessons and be nice to all the women. And go by yourself to places where you can use those dance steps. Men who can dance and like to are always in high demand with women. Even greater demand for such men who are straight!
Single men who can dance and are gracious can get free fares for cruises as long as they agree to dance with women!
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Oct 16, 2017 23:31:15 GMT -5
My birthday was the 12, and per usual I don't expect anything. I waited, and waited, then after dinner I realized nothing was going to happen. So as I was going to bed(we don't sleep in the same room) I said good night I love you even though you're a jerk, she looked at me awkwardly, I said look at your phone, nothing, then I asked her the date, she said it, then light bulb, you forgot my birthday. I really wouldn't have cared but she's been talking about Christmas, our daughters bday which is in November, Halloween, and all this was in September. So I think to myself Halloween is more important to her than I am. I wonder if she'll ever understand that in like 4-5 years our youngest will be 8, the oldest gone and the middle driving, what then, does she expect me to continue to be the least important thing in her life. I was going to post a thread on this the other day and didn't get around to it,I'm glad you beat me to the punch. I have stopped all physical contact and pleads for intamacy, I tired of a simple conversation about how I don't think I should ask for sex every day and get a unenthusiastic quicky every month, turn into tears and how bad I am and if I did this or that, I'm not the problem. I'm young, in shape, my junk works, I'm handsome from what women tell me, it should be a no brainier, we have money, my income is 70 a year, big house, three cars, we eat good kids go to a good school, like a fucking dream, how many women would jump at the opportunity of that level of security. Instead I get nit picked, we'd have more sex but remember that one time 7 years ago when you said this, no I don't, because I was 25, I made mistakes and I've changed, and I feel like I did my time. Fuck this sucks. Bad thing is if she does change this period of time will always be here,and if she doesn't then it'll affect any future opportunities, ruining relationship for me. Relationships= pain and suffering. Been in your shoes brother aguywithneeds. Similiar story great job, comfortable life nice cars etc. Have you ever held her accountable for her actions? |
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Post by aguywithneeds on Oct 17, 2017 5:52:37 GMT -5
I hope she's starting to get it, I am starting to call her out more on her behavior. Surprisingly enough it's beginning to not be met with anger. I think that me no longer pursuing her has her on her heels. I just couldn't do it anymore, I was going into some dark places, I decided that it was no longer worth i understand that this years lack of sex is partly my fault,but if you it resets the dynamic then it was worth it.
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Post by northstarmom on Oct 17, 2017 6:49:12 GMT -5
A guy, your wife isn't just not sexing you, she is not even noticing your birthday. She does less for you than many would do for a buddy at work. At least one would wish a work buddy a happy birthday.
Why have you chosen to stay so long with and to be so dependent on her? Why haven't you cared enough about yourself to at least do ithibgs on your birthday that made you happy? You have acted as if you were undeserving of even routine kindness.
What's the point of a nice house and car if you live in loneliness and misery?
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Post by aguywithneeds on Oct 17, 2017 7:28:59 GMT -5
Straight truth, I stay mainly for my children. My life is too complicated right now to leave, with belongings comes responsibilities. She has some mental health issues that she's not addressing properly, so part of me is hoping that shell go to the doctor and start taking her meds, another part is just waiting for the appropriate time to leave. I have built in coping mechanisms, and have gotten myself out of the rut I was in. Now I'm waiting to see what happens. I do take time for myself, more now than ever.
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