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Post by mypaintbrushes on Aug 13, 2017 17:53:05 GMT -5
This is what my husband has been saying all weekend. He's been on summer break. We've had sex twice, with some foreplay/MM a couple of times.
I was out with my 19-year-old niece last night, and he sent me a text that was extremely graphic in nature about what he wanted to do once I got home… I held the phone away from her so she couldn't see what was on the screen and then responded. He never read the response, and I came home to find him playing video games, which he did until about midnight.
This morning, he rolled over and reiterated to me that "We need to do something today". I asked, "Because you're horny?" He replied, "Well, yeah, because I'm horny… Why else would I want to?"
I thought, "Hmmm… Because you miss spending time with me?"
Try as I might, I can't get excited at the thought of "doing something" tonight. I feel like I should be more grateful or something. Perhaps his saying "I'm horny" should be enough foreplay for me - it seems like it's enough for many women.
I'm also wondering what he means by "something". Sex, or a few minutes of MM?
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Post by Deleted on Aug 13, 2017 18:06:02 GMT -5
Venus and Mars?
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Aug 13, 2017 18:22:35 GMT -5
I don't know, maybe… It just seemed really abrupt. I still haven't shared my story about how counseling went on Wednesday night; that was definitely something else.
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Post by hopingforachange on Aug 13, 2017 18:31:38 GMT -5
What is MM?
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Post by baza on Aug 13, 2017 18:37:22 GMT -5
Well, he has managed - with this "sexy text" tactic - to get your mind off the core problems of a dysfunctional marriage and ticking financial time bomb.
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Post by rejected101 on Aug 13, 2017 18:39:37 GMT -5
"He replied, "Well, yeah, because I'm horny… Why else would I want to?"
My wife and had sex literally for years on this basis. When she fancied a fuck we fucked and forget it at any other time. Sometimes we a are too concerned in picking through what scraps have been left on the table to recognise that we have a right to a decent fucking meal.
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Aug 13, 2017 19:07:08 GMT -5
Mutual masterbation. I was being too lazy to type it all out.
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Aug 13, 2017 19:08:41 GMT -5
Well, he has managed - with this "sexy text" tactic - to get your mind off the core problems of a dysfunctional marriage and ticking financial time bomb. That's what I am afraid of. Wednesday did not go well and he may be feeling there he's losing control because I went somewhere with my niece. Odd as that sounds.
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Aug 13, 2017 19:09:51 GMT -5
"He replied, "Well, yeah, because I'm horny… Why else would I want to?" My wife and had sex literally for years on this basis. When she fancied a fuck we fucked and forget it at any other time. Sometimes we a are too concerned in picking through what scraps have been left on the table to recognise that we have a right to a decent fucking meal. I'd love a more sensual, playful, thoughtful experience than, "Well, I wanna. You ready?"
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Post by worksforme2 on Aug 13, 2017 20:13:42 GMT -5
How about an alternative to "We should do something"? Every 3 months my X used to announce the she was "in the mood" and then walk back to the bedroom, disrobe and wait for me in bed. There was no foreplay or sexual banter or the sort of preliminary warm up one might sort of expect. Just the announcement out of the blue that it was time for quarterly sex.
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Aug 13, 2017 22:46:38 GMT -5
How about an alternative to "We should do something"? Every 3 months my X used to announce the she was "in the mood" and then walk back to the bedroom, disrobe and wait for me in bed. There was no foreplay or sexual banter or the sort of preliminary warm up one might sort of expect. Just the announcement out of the blue that it was time for quarterly sex. Gah. Sounds familiar. I'm sorry!! 😐
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Post by GeekGoddess on Aug 13, 2017 22:56:28 GMT -5
Maybe you need to "do something" on your own? Like file for divorce. Actually today would have been my 19th wedding anniversary. It's the second one I've spent without the Ex. Third one since I announced my decision to move out & divorce. This one was contemplative. I did a LOT of stuff today, all either on my own or with friends I've made since leaving the SM. This was a good day, in fact. It also included some tears, btw. And it was still a good day. Don't indulge him, I say. But maybe you've not reached the counter-refusing stage yet. In any case, let me assure you that "I'm horny" does NOT constitute foreplay, flirting, or even politeness. This man is a selfish prick. Not that this is news.
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Aug 14, 2017 0:09:54 GMT -5
Maybe you need to "do something" on your own? Like file for divorce. Actually today would have been my 19th wedding anniversary. It's the second one I've spent without the Ex. Third one since I announced my decision to move out & divorce. This one was contemplative. I did a LOT of stuff today, all either on my own or with friends I've made since leaving the SM. This was a good day, in fact. It also included some tears, btw. And it was still a good day. Don't indulge him, I say. But maybe you've not reached the counter-refusing stage yet. In any case, let me assure you that "I'm horny" does NOT constitute foreplay, flirting, or even politeness. This man is a selfish prick. Not that this is news. Oh, I'm sorry there were tears... 😢 OK, so, for all the "I'm horny" talk, he's watching GoT. Go figure. He did make dinner.
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Post by orangepeel on Aug 14, 2017 1:31:46 GMT -5
As a confirmed (but still only theoretical) counter-refuser, I simply wouldn't acknowledge these half-arsed overtures. Fuck him. (But only metaphorically!)
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Post by lyn on Aug 14, 2017 4:13:18 GMT -5
You know - next time he texts you something like that - go home - stand in front of him playing his video game and say, "So, you want to f*ck or not - lets go."
If he dies anything other than get on you -
Consider your options - seriously. Every time he does this, you erode more and more.
One day you'll be unrecognizable. That wouldn't be good at all.
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