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Post by brian on Aug 9, 2017 11:54:25 GMT -5
Tomorrow's the day. Another year to reflect upon. Another opportunity to contemplate where I/we are headed. One year ago I had the absolute worst sexual experience with my refuser. I have no desire to even contemplate sex tomorrow. We are on vacation, with the kids (and our 17yr old's gf). I really hate living my sex life vicariously through my teenage son, but he gets more action and variety in a week than I get in 2yrs.
Where am I going with this post? Idk. Just rambling, I guess. I have an afternoon and even planned for tomorrow. It could be considered romantic, if ppl were in a romantic mood. I just want to show her that I care about her likes and wants, even if she doesn't reciprocate. Am I nuts?
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Post by northstarmom on Aug 9, 2017 12:03:08 GMT -5
I don't see any reason to celebrate a relationship that's breaking your heart. Even if you are staying together for your kids, live your truth not a lie.
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Post by mrslowmaintenance on Aug 9, 2017 12:11:27 GMT -5
Our anniversary this year I was able to drop my little lady off with her grandma for a few hours. We used that time to see a movie and then go have coffee/dessert where I made it clear (well as clear as an emotional monster like me can without being visably upset) that I expected sex that night but I knew he didn't and that fact hurt me more than I could express while in public.
It was a nice evening and I felt better having said it out loud to him
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Post by shamwow on Aug 9, 2017 14:14:44 GMT -5
Tomorrow's the day. Another year to reflect upon. Another opportunity to contemplate where I/we are headed. One year ago I had the absolute worst sexual experience with my refuser. I have no desire to even contemplate sex tomorrow. We are on vacation, with the kids (and our 17yr old's gf). I really hate living my sex life vicariously through my teenage son, but he gets more action and variety in a week than I get in 2yrs. Where am I going with this post? Idk. Just rambling, I guess. I have an afternoon and even planned for tomorrow. It could be considered romantic, if ppl were in a romantic mood. I just want to show her that I care about her likes and wants, even if she doesn't reciprocate. Am I nuts? I wouldn't call you nuts. You are mis-matched, and it doesn't sound like that's going to change. |
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Post by cagedadventurer on Aug 9, 2017 15:06:46 GMT -5
Tomorrow's the day. Another year to reflect upon. Another opportunity to contemplate where I/we are headed. One year ago I had the absolute worst sexual experience with my refuser. I have no desire to even contemplate sex tomorrow. We are on vacation, with the kids (and our 17yr old's gf). I really hate living my sex life vicariously through my teenage son, but he gets more action and variety in a week than I get in 2yrs. Where am I going with this post? Idk. Just rambling, I guess. I have an afternoon and even planned for tomorrow. It could be considered romantic, if ppl were in a romantic mood. I just want to show her that I care about her likes and wants, even if she doesn't reciprocate. Am I nuts? Brian, not nuts at all. It's the despair that logs us on and prods our 'rambling". My anniversary was just 3 weeks ago! I DREADED the day. So many silent "uhg's" on my part as to how do I get through it and past it.
So first off - no card and no uttering of Happy Anniversary. She knows better to even say it... unsure if an embarrassing, honest retort might follow from my smart mouth.
So I took her to IHOP for breakfast and to Macaroni Grille for dinner. We did fine and it was all OK. Funny thing - I do not have any recollection if sex happened or not. What I do recall is that on the 17th, I was relieved it was over.
So if this helps - go about showing her you care and let her enjoy some attention. She'll take it. IF tomorrow night she were to pursue you, do the deed. Otherwise, I found it easiest to keep a little distance upon returning home (pretended to be distracted by the kids) so she does not even suspect you have sex on your mind. Easier said than done but you will feel better if she has to make the gesture. And if not, you don't want it anyway.
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Post by cagedadventurer on Aug 9, 2017 15:09:40 GMT -5
Our anniversary this year I was able to drop my little lady off with her grandma for a few hours. We used that time to see a movie and then go have coffee/dessert where I made it clear (well as clear as an emotional monster like me can without being visably upset) that I expected sex that night but I knew he didn't and that fact hurt me more than I could express while in public. It was a nice evening and I felt better having said it out loud to him So did he make sex happen? |
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Post by shamwow on Aug 9, 2017 15:31:16 GMT -5
My anniversary was July 12 (our 20th). This year I celebrated it in court finalizing the divorce.
No dinner was purchased, and no gifts were exchanged.
If that sounds cold, it was just the first date my attorney could make it to court to get things done. Logistics dictated that we get things done sooner rather than later.
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Post by GeekGoddess on Aug 9, 2017 16:02:33 GMT -5
This Sunday will (would have been) 19 yrs. I told H that I was leaving about a month before our 17th.
I will spend Sunday with some friends. By coincidence, that friend gathering will be in the little town across the river where we were married.
But my Ex won't be there. This is a different friend group.
I second everyone else's advice on: Be nice. Don't lie.
I hope that gets you though it.
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Post by wom360 on Aug 9, 2017 16:15:24 GMT -5
If you do anything, do it alone or with the kids. Nothing that could be construed as for her or for sex. Don't acknowledge the day. If she says it say "ya you too" and change the subject quick. Pretending like everything is ok is just wrong.
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Post by mrslowmaintenance on Aug 9, 2017 17:43:08 GMT -5
Our anniversary this year I was able to drop my little lady off with her grandma for a few hours. We used that time to see a movie and then go have coffee/dessert where I made it clear (well as clear as an emotional monster like me can without being visably upset) that I expected sex that night but I knew he didn't and that fact hurt me more than I could express while in public. It was a nice evening and I felt better having said it out loud to him So did he make sex happen? Hahaha, yeah, no. No he didn't |
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Post by h on Aug 9, 2017 17:48:57 GMT -5
So did he make sex happen? Hahaha, yeah, no. No he didn't 😢 |
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Post by cagedadventurer on Aug 9, 2017 18:05:35 GMT -5
So did he make sex happen? Hahaha, yeah, no. No he didn't Uhhh, there are no "new" words mrslowmaintenance. Now if only we had been at the same restaurant, we could have done a date swap. Then I'd say Happy Anniversary honey, I found you a no pressure date for the night with whom the "s" word never even gets consideration let alone actually suggested. See you later, if you're home late practice safe......oh never mind, what was I thinking?
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Post by baza on Aug 9, 2017 22:02:39 GMT -5
I guess Brother brian , you may as well keep practising presenting romantic outings to a woman. It may have some practical application and pay off at some indeterminate future time, if - at that time - you happened to have a different woman in your life. |
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Post by mrslowmaintenance on Aug 9, 2017 23:51:39 GMT -5
Hahaha, yeah, no. No he didn't Uhhh, there are no "new" words mrslowmaintenance. Now if only we had been at the same restaurant, we could have done a date swap. Then I'd say Happy Anniversary honey, I found you a no pressure date for the night with whom the "s" word never even gets consideration let alone actually suggested. See you later, if you're home late practice safe......oh never mind, what was I thinking?
He enjoys going to the movie theater and reading his phone while eating, have a nice night! |
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Post by rejected101 on Aug 10, 2017 5:15:00 GMT -5
Uhhh, there are no "new" words mrslowmaintenance. Now if only we had been at the same restaurant, we could have done a date swap. Then I'd say Happy Anniversary honey, I found you a no pressure date for the night with whom the "s" word never even gets consideration let alone actually suggested. See you later, if you're home late practice safe......oh never mind, what was I thinking?
He enjoys going to the movie theater and reading his phone while eating, have a nice night! Unbelievable! |
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